- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
From what I can tell, and what I’ve read on here, it’s usually the bride that wants the big expensive do, and the groom who wants to put the brakes on and just do a BBQ in the park. In my case, the roles are reversed – my fiance wants a big formal thing, I just want the whole wedding industry to go sodomise itself.
I’ve never cared for weddings. At all. When I was younger, I never dreamed about my ideal wedding – I never even wanted to get married. When I started dating my fiance (my first boyfriend. Ever), I never really considered having a wedding – I love him but, to me, weddings are a huge waste of time and money.
Anyway, we got engaged and my fiance quickly said the wedding budget would be $20-25,000! I’ve kept trying to find ways to cut it back to, say $5,000, but my fiance has his heart set on a proper, formal wedding. Personally, I hate big formal events – I never even had an 18th or 21st birthday party, simply because parties just aren’t my thing. So any wedding I would plan would be a simple, no-frills ceremony, followed by a simple, no-frills meal, then everyone can be home by midnight.
Unfortunately, I’ll try and dicuss this with my fiance, then end up crying (I cry at the slightest provocation, which is a pain in the arse), so he says we’ll do it my way. Then, a few days later, he’s miserable because he’s not getting the wedding he wants.
Every time I try and say something, everyone responds with either “It’s your wedding, so make your voice heard! Do what you want!” or “It’s your wedding! You have to have a big, expensive, formal thing!! You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t!” I know that it’s our wedding, and fiance should get a say in the wedding planning, but our visions of the ideal wedding are so different, it’s nearly impossible to compromise on it!
Has anyone else had this issue? How the hell did you sort it out with your fiance?
Note: $20,000 is considered a relatively cheapish wedding in Australia. Also, fiance and I are pretty well off financially, so I can’t even pull the “We can’t afford it” card when it comes to budgeting for the wedding