Post # 1
My SO and I are on the same page about wanting to get married (and to each other!), but there are some other big life events occurring right now and an engagement/wedding just doesn’t make as much sense in the near future. We are happy, and know we will end up together, so I guess I feel like what’s the rush? His parents (especially one side of the family) are constantly pressuring us about getting engaged and having kids!
I guess… does anyone else relate? Happy waiting for now, because you know the engagement will come in its own time? I still enjoy thinking about my future with him but just don’t want to rush things right now. We’ve been together 5+ years (starting dating in college) and are in our late 20s.
Edit: I want to add that even if we got engaged tomorrow we wouldn’t be able to start planning a wedding for at least 7 months.
Post # 2
I never felt like I was “waiting” when I wasn’t engaged – most people don’t believe me when I say that, but I honeslty mean it. I knew we commited ourselves to each other forever regardless. We were in our mid 20s, had been together 8 years, owned a home, and were in a great financial situation when he proposed. I knew it would come in time, and was happy having him as my partner with or without the ring on my finger!
Post # 3
I’m pretty happy right now. I have a good idea of when the engagement is coming, though. Also, I told my SO I wanted to own my own home before marrying him, so even if we get engaged it may be a few years before we get married (unless he sells his condo in the next year, that is).
Post # 4
futuremrscrow : You’re right – I don’t feel like I’m “waiting,” I just feel like we’re in a comfortable place before engagement. Did you ever face pressure from family/friends? It’s really getting old – they have gotten a lot worse over the last year.
Post # 5
poppy77 : All the time. His younger sister, got engaged and married before we were engaged, and every single person who knew always gave me like the “aw it isnt you getting married” look, when I seriously didnt care LOL .. we got engaged in july of 2015 and then married in july of 2016, now we have a baby on the way – we’ve been together for 10 years. it’s always something that people pressure you about, when its the engagement, its when are you tying the knot, get married, whens the baby? pregnant – are you having another? Just do what’s best for you and your boyfriend! Just say “we are perfectly happy with how things are right now, we will get engaged when it’s best for us, thanks!” and that will shut them up lol
Post # 6
Absolutely! I’ve been with my SO for almost 5 years and only recently started feeling ready to get engaged. With full time jobs and part-time grad school, there was just too much going on to think about planning a wedding. Although I think we will likely get engaged in the next month or two, I’m savoring every bit of the wait.
Post # 7
poppy77 : I feel like I’ve never been happier! I got a job and we started house hunting to move closer to my work all in the past two weeks, and we’re closer than ever. We’re both stressed, but it’s like we’re a team and so it isn’t tearing us apart at all – more like bringing us together!
He has the ring (it’s in the house) and we know we’ll be engaged in the next 6 months, but I’m not obsessing or really worrying about it at all. Our parents are pretty eager, but we’ve always done things in our own way.
Post # 8
It is so nice to read a thread about/from women who are not ‘waiting’ , whose relationships sound equal and balanced and whose engagements and timelines and decisions are matter for both parties.
I get so cross/sad at the posts from women who are in some sort of limbo while their man decides if and when he may (or may not if she’s not a good patient girl) bestow the ineffable gift of his proposal upon them.
Post # 9
I was the same way. Lots of pressure from the family starting two years in when we moved in together and for the next six sum-odd years before we got engaged. We knew it would happen with each other someday, and spoke of our future together, but people always felt the need to ask me if I ever thought it would happen, or why it hasn’t happened yet. Like give me an effin break. I was 29, and he had recently turned 35 when he asked. We were very happy with what we had, a life partner in each other and cat children.
That being said, he managed to surprise me with a proposal on holiday in Canada for our 8th anniversary. And now we will be married on our 9th anniversary 😊!
Post # 10
I’m happy waiting. I know it will happen and I’m a pretty chill, laid back and patient person when I trust the person and understand the reason for waiting. We mutually decided we would get engaged this year so I dont feel like SO is calling all the shots. Until then I’m keeping myself happy and distracted by studying, engaging in my hobbies, and planning on making a YouTube channel and potentially starting a business.
Post # 11
I was super happy waiting until about 8 months before we got engaged (together 6 yrs at that stage). Then I got extreme nesting urges and suddenly felt so anxious to get engaged. Those months were torture! Now I am anxious to get married and start having babies 🙂
Post # 12
Same here. I am engaged, but I was never in a hurry to get engaged. I didn’t see a reason to be. I mean, we were always together so much that we may as well have been married. lol I don’t get why people get all uptight about getting that ring on their finger. Why not just enjoy being together and when it happens, it happens.
Post # 13
I can relate as well. I have only recently come around to the idea of engagement since my focus this far has been School, the Bar exam, moving, finding my feet in my career, etc. But bf and I had a little chat toward the end of the year when he expressed that since he waited for me to check these things off my professional to do list, he would like to move forward with our relationship to do list and I agreed.
Now, I’m getting a little giddy about what 2017 has in store for us and I’m truly enjoying it. It’s also fun to see his excitement as well; like he has a little secret project he’s about to reveal. It is truly comical to me because he loves to share news immediately, so I know it’s really challenging to keep his plans a secret from me. In fact, I think when he does seal the deal I will miss some of this excitement and anticipation.
I agree that I really wouldn’t call it waiting. I’ll be thrilled at a proposal, no doubt, but I am savoring these last few months of “just dating.”
We have been together a little over six years now. Every family get together I feel as though people try to make me feel better by saying “Don’t worry, it will happen!” Lol! I’m not!
Post # 14
I feel this way at the moment too. I’m enjoying the excitement of the “waiting” phase. All SO little hints and diversions to make sure it is a surprise and the gushy “I really wanna marry you and be together forever and ever” chats are so fun and cheesy romantic. I know it’s coming at some point before September so no reason to stress.
lots of people were saying to me that it would happen at Christmas and I was a little glad it didn’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I will be ecstatic when it happens, but I know SO will not make me wait unnecessarily so it was just not our time yet. This is what we both want and if we have got forever then there is no rush.
We have some trips coming up that will make the next few months expensive but fun and exciting. So even though it impedes ring saving I feel like it’s a good chance for us to enjoy frivolous “just because” getaways before the wedding saving truly begins. Travel *and* a proposal!? 2017 will be ace!
Post # 15
I wouldn’t say I am happy waiting- more like content. I have a lot of things going on this year- starting with my new job I start tomorrow. So there are a lot of things keeping me preoccupied right now. If he proposed tomorrow- even though I would be estatic- it would really put a lot more on my plate than I want to handle right now.