(Closed) Anyone else hate bachelor parties?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 46
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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missxmelon:  she isn’t home yet :-/ and talking about what’s wrong with me helps to know where to start fixing things, i didn’t ever look at it as defending myself. i’m aware you people don’t know me, i’m not angry with anybody who told her to cut an run.  it’s just that if she and I are going to talk about postponing this thing i need to do it in person, not over phone, text or internet.  at this point i’m just killing time.  if you have any suggestions as to how to start repairing the damage i’ve done i’m all ears. 

Post # 47
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

On the positive side he is being honest with you. On the negative side he did coke… I feel like that is ridiculous on so many level. I hate when people act like their bachelor party is an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.  I’m sorry you’re having the deal with this.

Post # 48
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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juliaGG:  you’re right about the maturity, i’m sorry for being argumentative, that one response in particular really got my goat.  you’re clearly all very impressed with me so i should keep this short- i only meant to say that the bachelor party isn’t my excuse; i don’t have an excuse. Olive1239 knows the kind of fun I like to have and that I have a number of problems i need to fix but none of them mitigate the fact that I lied.  I was plainly wrong. My only intention here is to explain that I don’t deserve the excuses and the best i can hope for is forgiveness.

Post # 49
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

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nogroundtostandon:  Hmm. So, in my opinion it’s less about “repairing the damage” and more about understanding and addressing the underlying pathology. In your own words, you exhibit “destructive, illegal behavior.” You also struggle with “anxiety and depression” and cope via drinking and antidepressants.

It sounds like your plan is to turn off the light switch, so to speak, for many of these habits, though not all. Excuse my skepticism, but I don’t see how someone can change 180 degrees so quickly. Of course, I hope that you can. Yet if the same sort of “bachelor party” situation presented itself again in the future, would you really be able to hold back? Or would you relapse?

Point being, I don’t see how you can change and become a better person (the husband your Fiance deserves) in time for your wedding. And I’m still unclear as to why you two are getting married now. Why not wait? You have nothing to lose, except maybe some tax breaks. But starting a marriage off with a laundry list of issues to fix… that doesn’t seem ideal to say the least.

Post # 50
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee

 

OP–I just read this entire thread and just want to wish you a boatload of luck because you are very obviously going to need it.  In spades.

Are you that desperate to get marrried you can’t see the red banners, let alone flags that are waving at you?

Post # 51
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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missxmelon:  I think less “do a 180” more “learn appropriate coping skills” though your understanding of the subjects discussed seems pretty keen.  I’d like to drink less, in fact both she and I would like to drink less, and I need to continue working on my depression and anxiety in a more supervised way. I think ya’ll bring up a lot of valid concerns, but i’ve been made to sound like some hell raising addict with no moral compass (strangely enough NOT by fiance) for cutting very loose every few months.  I have a stable job in an office, i try and do right by others and treat them well, i just happened to get a little far from myself and it cost me my fiances trust.  it’s shitty but I think we’ll be able to get through this.  

Post # 52
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

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nogroundtostandon:  I don’t think you’re a “hell raising addict with no moral compass” – I just think if my Fiance were like you, I wouldn’t be planning a wedding right now. Everyone makes mistakes, and I’m sure everyone here has had to forgive their Fiance for something. But that’s their Fiance – not you – which is why they’re more inclined to respond harshly to your transgressions. Then again, we all have our own standards, and it seems doing hard drugs and receiving lap dances isn’t acceptable to most here.

Post # 53
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Well…good luck I guess.

Post # 54
Member
4316 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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juliaGG:  what u said x1,000!

i was ok with what he said until his response to ljm…

i think he has wayyyy too many excuses and is admitting he needs a lot of “work”.. I think he should do his Fiance a favor and get the help he admits he needs before he marries her and drags her down with him.. If he really loves her he would better himself instead of fucking up then lying to her and pissing her off with his irresponsibility….

Post # 55
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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Cheekie0077:  Yeah.. if he’d reread that part of his post that I quoted I think he’d see that we’re not the ones making him out to be a, “hell raising addict with no moral compass”. He basically owned up to it.

Post # 56
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee

 

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nogroundtostandon:  You are aware that just one snort of the wrong coke can kill you?  Cause a stroke?  It can, and has, happened to thousands of recreational users.

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