(Closed) Anyone else have a bridesmaid back out??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your friend can still support you even though she’ll be attending as a guest. She probably knew that she wouldn’t be able to participate fully or give you as much time/energy as a bridesmaid would typically.

That said, I asked a bridesmaid to step down and asked another close friend. She said she didn’t feel like a step-in and was happy that I asked her.

I also came to a mutual understanding with my cousin about asking her to step down/her backing out a week before my wedding because she was unwilling to do anything that I asked my bridesmaids to do, show up to wedding related events, etc. and used her child as an excuse. So my husband and I had an uneven wedding party and it was still beautiful. Things will work out for you 🙂

Post # 5
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If I was in situation (assuming a positive relationship with the sister that you are not close too)- I would ask the sister.  I would get some lunch with her and explain the situation.  I am sure, she will understand.

Regarding your friend- I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to take it personally…  As you said in your post, you realized that this might happen and she is regretful that she can’t be a part of the bridal party. 

I’m sorry that this happened – Keisha


Post # 6
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would still consider her your bridesmaid, even if she isn’t standing up there with you–she is still one of your closest friends. You could still invite her to get ready with you and your other bms, and you could even write her in your program as an honorary bridesmaid. You should feel no obligation to ask your other sister (I only had one of my sisters as a bm). 

Post # 7
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Aw, we have similiar situations (and dates), but sort of backwards. I had a bridesmaid backout, but it wasn’t the pregnant one! One my bridesmaids is due at the end of October, and she has told me she will be there hell or highwater. The baby will come during the cocktail hour to eat (which I’m totally down with), and the baby’s grandmother  will stay with the baby before and after at a hotel. 

My “friend,” however, did back out. Like you, I wasn’t so concerned about eveb numbers, it just hurt my feelings. It was too late to ask someone else, and plus, I thought she was a good enough friend that she would pull through.

Well, she totally dropped out via email, and I was upset. But, I had another friend who asked me if she be a bridesmaid, and I told her of course. She’s not a girly girl, so while I knew she would do it, I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable. But I’m glad she offered. She’ll be awesome!

My point is that these things work out sometimes. I would ask you sister, as long as you think she wouldn’t be offended. And even so, she’ll probably get over that and be happy to support you.

BUT, only ask if you really want her next to you. It’s about surrounding yourself with people you care about and who care about you.

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