(Closed) anyone else have a crazy mother??

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

When I suggested to my mom that the guest list was getting really long (Since she kept adding people) she said ‘well I can’t cut anyone…can you cut anyone off your list?" ITS. MY. WEDDING.

Post # 4
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

my mom just called me old (i’m almost 26) and let into me for not having a religious ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008 - Vineyard on the Delta

don’t even get me started, shortie, i could write a book.  but trust me, despite her pissing me off first thing when i saw her on my wedding day (i swear it’s like her job), i still had a great time and so will you.

Post # 6
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

ooh girl! my mom has done it all. i’m like mrs. greentea.. i could write a book. no, i could write a library! and my mom ALSO pissed me off on my wedding day (several times).

alas..even though i still have bad memories (i did not really have the best time) i’m so thankful its over. just remember. you have mr. shortcake and that’s all that matters! the wedding fuss will be over before you know it. 

Post # 7
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My mom has made some crazy requests too…constant stream of guests coming out of the woodwork, and the rsvp is on Saturday. Le sigh.

Is your mom paying for the wedding? If she’s willing to foot the bill for these guests, you might have to let her. If it’s your money she’s throwing around though, put your foot down. But make her do most of the footwork. Figure out when is the latest you can make any amendments to your guest list, add 1 week and set that as the "last call" rsvp date. It sounds like these people changed their rsvps from "no" to "maybe." Tell your mom to call again shortly before the "last call" rsvp to see if they’re really coming. Given the reasons you stated, I’m guessing they won’t show in the end anyway.

Post # 8
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think mothers are made to make brides hate their wedding day. I got in a huge screaming fight with mine in the parking lot of the bridal store the other day.

Most ridiculous statement of the fight. 

"Well I’m paying for it so don’t I get a say?" (In reference to my not wanting to wear a veil and not cover up a  tattoo on my back)

I am having a really hard time with her lately.  Most of the stuff I don’t care about but I would actually like to look like some version of myself on my wedding day. 

I feel your pain. 

 

Post # 9
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Mine hasn’t been crazy mean yet … just crazy. Our wedding is still 16 months away and my mother called me at work yesterday to ask me a really REALLY important question … "What kind of SHOES are you going to wear?!?!  You really NEED to start looking into shoes!!"

I dont even have a dress yet!! Hahaha. She’s a loon!  

Post # 10
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

well let me put it that way.. you need an extra table for people that rsvp-ed NO there is always odd balls that just show up.. so your mom is right about that..

(i hope you included band, photographer and all those folks that apparently need to eat too) lol  

my family kept giving double invites to people… gave me wrong addresses… listed the same people twice.. and kept asking "why so and so didn’t get an invite in mail" which drove me crazy because I don’t for USPS!!!

Just to make you feel better I have to tell you that EVERY wedding is a headache no matter how well you plan it.. it’s just the fact that you are dealing with bunch of people that makes it so hard, so just let it be and keep saying OK and smile and do your own thing.  

Post # 11
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

My mom started early with the crazy, but she’s in a calm period now so I am just breathing deeply until it starts up again. I can’t decide what was worse– when she loudly made fun of half the dresses I tried on at a high-end salon, or when she vetoed FI’s and my favorite venue because she thought her friends would find it "cheap and tacky." (It was neither.) Then there is the constant griping about us not having a religious ceremony– she has thrown at least two crying hissyfits about that, and there have been countless hectoring phone calls on top of that.

You’re not alone, shortie! I think some moms just go in crazy overdrive when their daughters get married. 

Post # 12
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

My mom is inviting all her friends to the wedding when I wasn’t planning on inviting them. I don’t know them well! FYI- she isn’t paying for the wedding, Fiance and I are! And now she’s begging me to include them because she already asked them, she’s driving me crazy!

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Relatives thinking that its a weekend picnic is so common its rediculous!!!

Too late now, but there are always bound to be more crazy relatives who just SHOW UP ANYWAY without an invitation!!!  That’s what your Maid of Honor & Groomsman’s job is for! Catching the Wedding Crashers – and directing them to the right table!

You might want to have an "Emergency Table" set up – some extra folding chairs & a card table set up in the farthest corner, a cooler with canned drinks, paper plates/plastic cups & some cold sandwiches picked up at your local CostCo or SamsClub…because if these people are going to treat it like a picnic, at least you accomodate them like their at one!

This would at least help keep them from sitting in someone else seat, and displace one of your "real" guests!

Post # 15
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

My mom is the opposite. It’s like she forgets I’m getting married. I brought my wedding dress to her house and tried it on, she asks "what is that?!". Uhh…my wedding dress. She’s already bought her tickets to our destination wedding but she acts like I’m not getting married. Weird.

Post # 16
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

How many people are we talking about (for the ones who have already "changed their minds"?)  It is a good idea to have an extra table, no matter what.  There is no way that you should plan on everybody who RSVP’d as NO showing up though.  And I kind of wonder what is really going on…  if I was a guest who couldn’t come, and ran into your mom, and she was sort of pressuring me, who knows what I might say.  I would think that, unless you can really trust your mom at this point (probably not) you need to call these people yourself and see what’s up.  Maybe they just gave your mom the impression that their plans might change…  if you let them know, nicely, that there seems to be some confusion about whether they can attend – you had thought not, from their RSVP, but your mom seems to think otherwise – maybe you can get this straightened out.  For us, everyone who actually RSVP’d as NO did NOT show up.  A few people who didn’t RSVP at all, and had to be called, did end up coming.

As far as your mom – they’re all crazy, to one extent or another.  Even the best of them lose it when it comes to weddings.  Probably she just really wants everybody there to see her baby married, and it’s affecting her brain chemistry in weird ways.  My mom was periodically nuts throughout the planning, and weirdly detached the last three or four days, and a real trooper for the actual event.  Which is what realyl matters, right?  (I keep telling myself.)

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