(Closed) Anyone else have a FI whose mom or dad aren't in the picture?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@IngridS:  He was emotionally abusive all of FI’s life so I know he is better off without him, but I have such a hard time understanding how you can have a son and just pretend he doesn’t exist. 

Some biological dads probably didn’t want to be fathers in the first place… so I would imagine this is one of those cases. It’s sad, but some people never wanted to be parents but were forced to when the woman got pregnant. The best thing to do is this situation is to not dwell on it. 

Post # 4
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My FIs dad left him and his mom just after he was born (she got pregnant with him in college before they were married). He kept in touch with him when he was younger but as soon as he turned 18 he stopped visiting and his dad stopped calling on Christmas,birthdays etc. I’ve never met him and I feel the same way you do — he has grown into an amazing, intelligent kind-hearted man. And he’s totally at peace with the situation. His mom got remarried when he was young so he had a dad that raised him who is amazing. But yes I totally understand and can relate to how you feel. I do think it will make our husbands that much better and devoted fathers someday.

Post # 6
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

He’s adopted and his birthparents went out of their way to find him only to completely disappear from his life, basically putting him through emotional hell. He said that he never intended to look for them and they had no business trying to find him for their own closure if they weren’t going to emotionally be there for him. Not only that but the birthmother is/was the president of an anti-adoption organization and had numerous articles about how she was coerced to give him up but the woman couldn’t even send him an email wishing him happy birthday, yet she claimed that she loves him and was always thinking of him especially on his birthday and she had the nerve to tell him that she felt like he wasn’t trying hard enough to keep contact with her. This makes fiance feel like there’s something wrong with him, and I try to tell him they’re the problem not him, but it’s easier to say that… I just wish he could see that it’s their loss (along with the loss of his birth grandparents who initially said they never wanted to meet him only for them to recently say that it would be nice to meet their grandson…how dare they judge someone for being born into a situation). 

Post # 7
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@IngridS:  I’ve been tempted to do this, but in my experience people tend to not respond and/or the outcome doesn’t provide the desired closure.

The topic ‘Anyone else have a FI whose mom or dad aren't in the picture?’ is closed to new replies.

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