(Closed) Anyone else have a mother and FMIL that don’t get along?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 6
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My mom really dislikes my Future Mother-In-Law, mostly b’cuz she knows exactly how crazy she is. But she’s still very polite and cordial. My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t necessarily dislike my mom… it’s more like she’s extremely jealous of her, and this insecurity comes out as passive-aggressive insults.

The first time our families met my Future Mother-In-Law had a sourpuss face the entire time, and she ended up saying things that offended my entire family. She later tried to blame it on unrelated things, but what does that have to do with the fact that you couldn’t be mature enough to act like a real adult?? My family loves FH enough to blow it off, but I keep them away from my Future Mother-In-Law now. If she ever remotely says anything offensive about my mom, I’ve already warned FH that I’ll be punching his mother in the face. I don’t play nice (get it from my father’s side lol).

Post # 7
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

View original reply
@marissa227: You should just tell your mom to suck it up, and that you aren’t supposed to be involved in your shower. Your Future Mother-In-Law should be there, and she wants to help, so tell your mother to give her something to do. They shouldn’t have involved you in this. If you can think of something cute for Future Mother-In-Law to do, just give it to her. Ask her to make cupcakes? Favors?

Post # 8
127 posts
Blushing bee

Mine met like handful of times if that. They have 0 in common, just like I have 0 in common with Mother-In-Law. When they have been in each other’s presence, they talk very little as well, there’s nothing to talk about lol. I’m pretty sure my mother don’t personally care for her as I did go back and tell her a few things my Mother-In-Law did and I would bet since my Mother-In-Law thinks she’s above everyone, she feels the same way about my mother. Being civil shouldn’t be that hard. Hi, bye, simple small talk then they can go their seperate ways.

Post # 9
4822 posts
Honey bee

They don’t argue, but I know my mom says things about Future Mother-In-Law which show she doesnt think she is the brightest or approve of some things she does/acts. I suspect Future Mother-In-Law probably feels the same.  

They are not in any danger of being best friends. They are just too different.

Post # 10
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My mom and Mother-In-Law are fine together. I would tell your mom that you appreciate her being civil, but that this is a very special and important time for both families involved and faking a little cheer would really mean a lot to you. As another poster said, even simply handing over a few of the shower decor choices or asking Mother-In-Law to make some goodies is not too much for your mom to give up, and doesn’t require much collaboration between the two. 

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