Post # 1
My boyfriend and I got together in April of 2010, and in August of 2010 he gave me a beautiful “promise ring” while I was recovering from a surgery. We were already talking about moving in together and someday getting married at that point and he had offered to care for me while I was recovering. It was a really sweet gesture, and I loved the ring. It’s about 1/3 carat and a princess cut diamond ring… so it’s been mistaken for an engagement ring many a time (especially on my size 5 finger). While he is older and established in his career, I am still finishing my degree (done in 9 months!) and I work as a barista. With all the customers who come in and all the new people I meet in classes, I swear I get the “whens the date?” question at least once a week! I recently had an interaction with a customer who assumed I was engaged, I told her it was just a promise ring and she asked “How long I’ve been waiting on that promise?”… And then it hit me that in just a few weeks it’ll be 2 years that I’ve been waiting on that promise! This has certainly been a topic of discussion between the boyfriend and I, and we have looked at engagement rings several times (the last being on my birthday in May). However, he has made comments about “next years tax return”. Sigh in an otherwise happy relationship, this past week was just a rough/awkward time to still be a waiting bee. Can anyone else relate???
Post # 3
@thearcherandthebull: Try to be excited that if THAT’S your promise ring, your engagement ring will be spectacular! 😉
It sounds like you’re on the track to marriage. Like i say to everyone, if you’re worried, talk to him about it. Next year’s tax return isn’t *that* far away. I can relate to hating waiting though.. I am too 🙁
Post # 4
@canarydiamond: Yes, he overdid it with the promise ring! 😉 I have talked to him about it a few times… and I’m pretty sure I know where he stands. He wants to, but has had to put a lot of money into his car and house this year. I’m just worried that next year something will pop up I guess… I mean we really don’t HAVE to finish the basement in a house we have owned for a year when its only the 2 of us living there! But he already talks about that. I guess what I’m saying is, day to day, I have a GREAT relationship. There is mutual respect, love, affection, we rarely fight, always make an effort to make time for each other, and after 2 years he still takes me out on dates and makes an effort to be romantic which I’ve seen slowly fade in some of my friends relationships. But I know in every relationship there comes that time when the actions don’t line up with the words… and while I don’t think mine is there quite yet… it’s a sinking feeling when other people imply that it is!
Post # 5
@thearcherandthebull: Do you wear your promise ring on your left hand? If so, it’d be pretty much impossible for people not to assume it’s an engagement ring, so I wouldn’t blame them. All the same, waiting is hard, do your best, and come to us bees when it is hard. We’re always here for you.
Post # 6
@VickyAurea: Yes, I wear it on the left hand… I once had a ring of less significance from an old high school boyfriend that I wore on that hand too, but it had an opal, not a diamond, so I never had that problem. I guess I didn’t think it through when he first put it on that hand.. seemed natural at the time… and I was flattered by all the questions about it up until last Valentines day when I first had the “wait a minute why HASN’T he proposed?” thought. Its funny you should mention that because when the conversation came up around our 2 year anniversary I told him I was thinking of switching it to my right hand so I wouldn’t get the attention of someone who is newly engaged when I am not… and he was incredibly offended by this idea and suggested that it would send a message to our friends and family, who have always seen me wearing the ring on my left hand, that something is wrong and has changed in our relationship. So I’ve kept it there..
Post # 7
my SO gave me a ring on my birthday that’s too often mistaken as a wedding band. doesn’t matter that it’s a 5mm silver ring with psychedelic carvings on it (lol), also doesn’t matter on what hand i wear it. probably because it only fits my ring finger.
Post # 8
My SO gave me a promise ring, and also asked if I would wear it on my left hand. It made me crazy how many people asked “when is the wedding”. I finally had enough of telling people it was a promise ring. So I switched fingers lol. I have worn it on my right hand for 4 years now lol.
Post # 9
If you are really getting sick of all the comments, I would just tell him that you are switching it to the right hand to avoid them. If he’s really concerned with how friends and family will react, maybe just wear it on the right hand at work and school, where there’s mostly strangers being nosy?
Post # 10
Yes! I wear mine on the right, but I do a lot of jail art and when I take pictures and my ring happens to be in the shot I will at times get the occasional “engagement??” comment, to which I have to reply, “check again, that’s my right hand”. I don’t let it but me though…I love my promise ring and im glad my SO has a good handle on my taste in jewelry!
Post # 11
My promise ring was mistaken for a wedding set all the time even though it was really just one ring. It was a tiny diamond set in a rather high illusion setting. All the time people would ask me “when did you get married?”
Post # 12
I stopped wearing any rings at all, I ws getting sick of having to say, “No, I’m not engaged/married,” when asked. I work with people from other coutnries, and in some, rings are not what we’d consider traditional (my seashell beach rings looked like a wedding band to some), many don’t bother with an e-ring AND a wedding band, and so on, and often are worn on the right hand, so I couldn’t win.
Post # 13
My SO bought me an aquamarine for my birthday, and I wore it on my left hand. One time when we were out with one of his best friends SO’s friend saw the ring and flipped out! This guy and my SO had every class together, so he definitely would have known if had gotten engaged. I was so embarassed. I switch it between my ring and left hands now. It fits my left finger better, but I definitely don’t want something like that to happen again!