Post # 1
First post —
Those of you with shy SOs (as in shy/nervous when it comes to making a move and verbalizing their feelings on the big issues) ..how have you dealt with this through the waiting and engagement process?
How have you learned to be patient and not to resent your SO?
Post # 3
My FI is shy and doesnt often discuss feelings. While waiting (which was just over a week ago), it was difficult sometimes because I couldnt figure out what was going on or what was making him shy about proposing.
I kept thinking about all of the reasons why I loved him and all of the reasons why being shy and mellow is a GREAT thing for me (i am quite the opposite) and it made me appreciate him so much more and kept me from being frustrated. His personality is a HUGE reason why I love him, he ended up coming up with a beautiful, intimate, and perfect proposal that we both loved.
Post # 4
@Seashells7: How long did you wait for? And did you ever express these concerns ot him?
Post # 6
My SO is shy, and admitted very early that he didn’t think he’d be the type to bring up something that I hadn’t brought up first. He hardly ever initiates anything – plans, conversations, etc.
Luckily, he’s been very happy to have me bring things up because he knows I know he is too shy to. He is appreciative.
I am not saying your SO would react the same, but maybe you are okay with being the more vocal. Maybe he doesn’t mind either. He probably loves in you all that he can’t be himself and is willing to talk, offer opinions if gently prodded.
The only thing I’d say is with a shy one, you may have to be vocal. If I had it in my head I wasn’t going to be the first one to say “I love you,” talk marriage, and push the envelope a little, I was wrong. Once each of those things was brought up he was smiling, happy, and relieved. But he would not have done them as quickly without my doing so first. Does that take some of the fun out, maybe a little. But he’s one of the really good ones and I’m glad to put up with a little shy because I love him so much. I was once VERY shy myself. I just got over it. I still don’t like attention, but I am a big fan of talking things through so I am the one that doesn’t shut up in our relationship.
Post # 7
Welcome! Here is some insight on my situation which might be why is he taking so long. He told me he hadn’t proposed yet bc he was so overwhelmed with the idea of a wedding and saying vows in front of a ton of people. I thanked him so much for communicating that to me and suggested an elopment and a bbq later on with family and he is back on board.
I think some men get really scared of the whole wedding scene, not so much the committment. My SO told me he wants to spend his life with me, but it was just the wedding that he was scared of. Hope this helps!