(Closed) Anyone else have a terrible MIL?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you like your MIL?

    I love her to pieces!

    No, but I try my best for my FI sake.

    Somewhere in the middle.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I love my Future Mother-In-Law to pieces! I couldn’t ask for more. I feel like she is the typical “good” Mother-In-Law. The first time I met my (now) FI’s parents for dinner at their home she whipped out FI’s baby scrapbook faster than I could get my shoes off. She even told my Fiance that she thinks her and I are similar. I am pretty happy about that 🙂 

    I have dated people who had terrible parents. I mean, you’d think I was their personal punching bag. It definitely matters that your guy is on your side when his parents are being horrible.

    Post # 33
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I love this thread, there are so many interesting points of view and it’s helpful to know we’re not alone on the battlefieldWink

    Post # 34
    Member
    1926 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @Tibbs  Understood. If you ever need a place to spill, my inbox is open! Tongue Out

    Post # 35
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My Mother-In-Law and I have had our ups and downs. There was a period where I thought I could kill her. She’s someone of those ppl that thinks she knows it all, and thinks she can talk to you any kind of way. I had to properly part her in her place, and now and play along to get along. I know you pain girl.

    Post # 36
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @musician32992  Thanks. I may take you up on that. I’ll be seeing a lot of her in May, and I fear for my sanity.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2807 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    my Future Mother-In-Law is wonderful. i’m very blessed. she’s so kind and genuine, and only has good intentions.

    my ex’s motherr, however, was evil and cold and backstabbing. kind of like her son turned out to be. but i have never been treated so horribly by a grown adult parent as i was by her.

    Post # 38
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My Future Mother-In-Law is fabulous and I love her to death. SO’s stepmother, on the other hand, is a little difficult. I think she’s always resented that Future Father-In-Law doesn’t want to get married again (SO is the product of his second marriage)  and Future Mother-In-Law is happily remarried. It’s been over 20 years since they divorced but she still makes it awkward. When we get engaged there will definitely be some eyerolling and gossip on her part. She did the same thing when Future Sister-In-Law got married earlier this year. Sad.

    Post # 39
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Unortunately my Mother-In-Law is my FI’s step mother as his own mother passed away, i can safely say i despise her!!!! she is very controlling of his father, treats us like second rate citizens, treats her own grandchild like royalty and buys our children and our nieces and nephews total tat for xmas and birthdays, where as her own grandaughter has hundreds of pounds spent on her. They have offeded no contribution towards the wedding, although they are very well off, yet expect to attend our wedding with all her family that my Fiance and i and my parents have paid for!!! if i have my way, she won’t ba at our wedding at all. She is a hateful woman.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

    I am very lucky that I get along extremely well with my future Mother-In-Law. We go to lunch together, shopping together, ect.  I will be actually doing some wedding planning with her while my fiance is doing his bachelor party.

    Post # 41
    Member
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    @javamonkey  I feel for you! I really do because as we all know, people really don’t change so expect to live with her and her crappy persona forever. To me, a terrible Mother-In-Law is a complete deal breaker. As you grow older and have kids, she will become a much bigger part of your life. I would really set your expectations clearly with FI!

    My Mother-In-Law is sweet just…. I think she smoked entirely too much weed in the 60’s and 70’s. Sometimes she can’t follow conversations. She’s a little wacky but sweet.

    Post # 42
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    My Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law and SisIL are horrible people. They call their selves Christians (Believers) but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  They are Believers who do what Non-Believers would find unbelievable all the time.  I am so glad we live 1100 miles from them.

    They were driving through our area on the way to another state. They wanted to stop by but we had plans (We were in a wedding) that couldn’t be changed for their date. We explained the situation and asked them if they could see us on the way back.  They were so angry that we wouldn’t adjust our plans to fit theirs (they are retired) that they didn’t tell us when they were coming back this way. When they got home they published their trip route for their friends. They literally stayed 15 miles from our house and chose not to see us. 

    If they don’t get their way or if you dare to disagree with them they get angry.  My particular favorite is…They never lie; they call their lies “excuses.”  I swear I am so thankful he was adopted. Perhaps I have a shot at Husband not being like them from genetics.  Husband can’t stand them any more than I can.

    Post # 43
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016

    She drinks wayy to much and talks down on her kids…it takes everything for me to not say anything… definetly not my favorite person!

    Post # 44
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law is great! I’m very lucky. 🙂

    I don’t think you marry the family – even if you actually like/love your SO’s family. Your marriage is still for you and your SO.

    My ex’s family wasn’t always very nice to me. They accused me of untrue things, spoke another language around me (yes, they all spoke English just fine) and didn’t like that I had opinions and spoke my mind – politely, I might add.

    Needless to say, just like FH is a much, MUCH better fit for me than the ex, so is FH’s family. Score!

    Post # 45
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I am so sorry you have a rotten Mother-In-Law. Mine is good but my best friends Future Mother-In-Law is just plain awful and I cant stand the way she treats my friend! My friends mom passed away when we were 13 so I guess I always kinda hoped she would marry a man with an awesome mom so she wohld be like a mom to friend also. Not so much! He also has 2 sisters who are just downright awful as well. One of the sisters we are in the process of working on a restraining order against and shes not invited to the wedding. His mom is just rude and doesnt care ahout my friends feelings in the least. They have been together 5 years so we would think by now she would get the clue that she is here to stay and start being friendlier  His parents live close as well and her Fiance is very close to his parents which makes it very difficult for my best friend. At least her Fiance is a really nice guy and we all like him he treats her well. Im not 100% sure about the saying marry him marry his family in this case……

    Post # 46
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee

    I’ve known my Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law since I was a kid. He’s wonderful, and she is the rudest person I have ever met in my life. For over 20 years I have listened to her yell about people needing to give her respect, saying anything that pops into her head no matter how it may hurt someone, including Fiance, putting herself first before her children, badmouth my Future Father-In-Law to Fiance and his sister for years (her ex, who is very sweet), and then finally insulting MY mother who has passed away. I have NEVER once said anything that could even remotely be considered rude to her, and I even managed to avoid saying nice things in a snotty way, even when I was a teenager, but this woman has screamed at me every single time I’ve seen her. When I was 16 I answered with “Yes, ma’am” as my mother would think proper, and Future Mother-In-Law told me not to “ma’am” her. She’s tried to break up Fiance and I over and over, orders me around, tried to tell me I can’t see my family at Xmas at all b/c she made plans for us, and so much more. With my mom gone, and this HorrorInLaw, sometimes I feel trapped during the wedding planning. There’s no winning with some people. Our solution has been to move 850 miles away and Fiance is getting a bit of counseling to deal with the repercussions of Mummy Dearest. Maybe not the most convenient advice, but it’s working to give us some peace. 🙂

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