(Closed) Anyone else have Co-MOH?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have co moh’s! I have my sister and my sister in law (FI’s sister) both I am extremely close with! My sister seems to be taking the lead on most things, but they both get along great. My sister will stand next to me on the actual day. For me that was hard, I know I wanted my sister but didnt want to offend my SIL, but they have both been very easy going about everything! Do you think the two will get along both being MOH?

Post # 3
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Don’t do it! My fiance was a co-best man for his friend and he hated everything about it, said it didn’t feel like the responsibility were shared. Also you only need one of them to sign the registry so you will have to choose who will do that anyways.  In the end one of the Maid/Matron of Honor will end up doing more than the other. 

Post # 4
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I was in a wedding with co-MOH. It was a bit strange because she clearly picked them because they had been lifelong friends. In reality she barely speaks to one and the other she is still close to. To me they were terrible choices for Maid/Matron of Honor because they literally did nothing and the bride almost removed them both from the wedding party. It ended up being me and the other two bridesmaids planning everything. I almost wonder now if they just expected the other to take the lead and ended up not doing much of anything. Personally, I think it is a bad idea.

The bride did not go out of her way to make them feel special. She let both girls speak at the reception. The only real issue I could see would be who stands directly behind you on that day (MOH’s spot). My advice pick by how long you’ve been friends or by alphabetical order. 

Post # 5
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was a co-MOH once.  The bride was Maid/Matron of Honor for both of us but she told me that I would need to pay for every thing because my “co” couldn’t afford it.  

Post # 6
Member
949 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  I had two of my best friends as maids of honour. I didn’t have any problems with one feeling less than the other, but I did try to make sure that I didn’t accidentally load a lot of tasks on one of them etc.

ETA: One of them did a reading at the ceremony, while one was my witness etc. I tried to make sure they each had a roughly equal division of labour, even when one of them was on a uni exchange in Norway and not in our area.

Post # 7
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  I did this; one was my sister (maid of honor) other was my best friend (matron of honor) and then my attendants. They balanced each other out perfectly, but I think it helped that they have known each other for over 10 years, as my best friend has been around a while. So they were comfortable sharing.

Iff you’re worried about keeping it equal, let them work out how they want to share any responsibilities, but honestly, and this is my humble personal opinion: treat all your BMs as VIPs. Just like you wouldn’t treat one Maid/Matron of Honor as less than the other, you shouldn’t treat your BMs as less than your MOHs, if that makes sense. 

I’d appoint any and all ladies you want in your bridal party and your two as Maid/Matron of Honor, and enjoy the process with them all equally. 

Post # 8
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am a co-MOH. Or actually I am Maid/Matron of Honor and the other is matron of honor since she is married. I could see it being awkward if the two don’t really know each other, because you kind of have to co-plan, but in my case me & the other are friends as well so it’s not a big deal. You do have to pick one to hold your bouquet & stand behind you & all that.

Post # 9
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I am doing this. Both my younger and older sister will be MOH’s. Neither are married and so far things have been going wonderfully. 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

Maybe if the girls are already close friends, it would work out great. If they are not, it could be a bad decision. Why have a Maid/Matron of Honor at all if you can’t choose? They could both be bridesmaids, and all your friends will feel equally loved. 

I have a close friend who had two MOHs, her BFFS from different times in her life, and the MOHs didn’t know each other that well. It turns out they don’t have much in common or agree on anything, so it was super awkward for both of them, and uncomfortable for all of the rest of us to watch.

They couldn’t agree on what we should do for the bachelorette party, so the party actually broke into two separate parties at the same time (the bride could obviously only be at one of them, so weird). They bickered the whole weekend. Then at the wedding, they both did speeches- it was like that movie Bridesmaids with the two competing BFFs trying to outdo each other and love the bride the most.

We’re in our 30s and this was not normal behavior for either of them. It was just an uncomfortable situation, fueled with champagne, that brought out the drama. 

Post # 11
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My Future Sister-In-Law is my Matron of Honor and my best friend is my Maid of Honor. They love it and have been awesome working together. I think it just depends on the people if they can make it work. It’s actually awesome because they are really good friends now! Both are in school and have lots going on so they really appreciate having each other to help. 

Post # 12
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I was co-MOH at my older sister’s wedding, and my other older sister was the other Maid/Matron of Honor.

No issues at all, my sister didn’t have us do anything but wear a dress that looked good with her dress and the other MOH’s dress. My sister had a very small wedding and didn’t want to have a large bridal party, so she just had me and my other sister be the MOH’s instead of picking out one or two friends. We would have planned a bachelorette part for her, but my sister’s friends wanted to do that for her.

The only thing that my sister and I had to work out was who stood next to our sister, the bride. We both didn’t actually care, but at the rehearsel decided that I would hold the ring and she would hold the flowers, and the officiant said that the person who held the ring (me) should stand closer to the bride, so that’s what we did.

Post # 13
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I had co-MOHs because it’s really a group of the 3 of us that are best friends. I think it worked because they were already so close so sharing responsibilities could be discussed openly. The only thing I had to figure out was who would 1) stand by me at the altar and 2) sign the marriage certificate. I told them I was planning on splitting those two between them, but they discussed it and just had one do both.

Post # 14
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens

I’m considering doing this as well, so I’m curious to hear other’s input! I’m going to only have my sister and my very best friend of over a decade as bridesmaids, so I don’t know if I should designate my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and just have one bridemaid (my friend) or just have them both be maids of honor? My Fiance is only going to have two in his wedding party as well so we’re trying to figure out the logistics, haha. 

Post # 15
Member
4132 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  I was a co-matron of honor in my friend’s wedding. Initially, I was a maid of honor and the other was a matron, but I got engaged and married before the wedding, so my title changed. Either way, I was glad to have someone else to experience the day with! The bridesmaids were a bit younger than us and were our friend’s cousins, so they had their own clique that we didn’t really fit into. 

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