(Closed) Anyone else have difficulty living in the "now" ?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have the opposite problem of living in the past. Back when my daughter was still alive, back when all my cats were alive, back when I lived in the woods that I loved so dearly. Ah for a time machine!

Post # 4
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Mint2Bee:  I can definitely relate to you. I don’t live in the now, but constantly stress about the future. It isn’t good for me, and I know it has affected my health (I have stress-induced eczema). I have tried (and still trying..it’s a constant battle) to relax more, enjoy the moments I have and count my blessings. I’ve definitely gotten better but I have a long way to go.

Would also love to hear some tips, so hopefully more Bees respond!

Post # 5
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

I used to live in the future, and now live much more in the present, but the way I got here I can’t recommend. I went through a completely unexpected traumatic experience that threw the future I wanted, or even any future at all, into major doubt… The present was all I could count on. It was not an awesome experience, though as with anything there are benefits. The deep realization that “life is short” (and potentially very unpredictable) stuck, and that has been a great benefit to me. But there must be a better way to really “get” that truth.

Post # 6
174 posts
Blushing bee

I am the same way and Fi always complains that I’m on to the next thing without enjoying the moment. No advice, but I can empathize! 

Post # 7
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Being as the present involves more studying than is normal, I definitely find myself looking to the future!! Sometimes, it’s hard to appreciate the present 😉

Post # 8
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Mint2Bee:  I am like that and Fiance also. We are currently in a bad situation job wise and are still finishing up school so we tend to dwell on the future and how much better things will be for us once we finish up school. Also I just rebooked my wedding date for May 2015, 3 weeks after I graduate so it makes it that much harder to not dwell on the future!

Post # 9
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Parklands, Quendon Hall

@mrs-to-be-2014:  Totally relate!


I do this ALL the time. I’m doing it by just being a Bee! I’m not even engaged now but my current obsession is looking ahead to that time in my life and thinking how amazing it’ll be!


I also have stress, anxiety and self-esteem issues which worsen my psoriasis, so it’s probably all linked. I reckon I dream about the blissful future to get away from thinking about all the stresses of today! The one time I do live in the present though is when I’m actually with my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I realise how much I love that! Surely a good sign for the present AND future I hope! 


Post # 10
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Another one who used to live in the future (like yourself)

I did so for decades…

Teens – 20s – 30s

High School – College – University – Graduation – Engagement – Career – Marriage – House – Babies – Kiddies – Teens

I was in my early 40s and looking forward to some great “empty nest” years with my Hubby

When my whole world changed…

Like joya_aspera: & trueblue14: I went thru some dark times… those bring you back to reality

I had some issues living in the PRESENT then… too bleak, and unknown.  Scary sh!t

I longer for a more aware PAST

Didn’t happen… the world (my world) would TILT AGAIN

It has been hard moving forward… without regrets

But I’ve chosen to do that for my own well being (health & mental health)

So now I try to focus on JUST NOW…

Where Mr TTR & I are in life this minute.  What we are doing or have planned this day, this week, this month, this year.

At our ages (50s & 60s) I know we won’t have a whole long time infront of us (not like when I married the first time in my early 20s, and thought forever was a word with very little meaning… til death do us part… has a lot more resonance at my age)

Sometimes I wish I had more control over time… be it the Future, Now or the Past

But I’ve come to realize I don’t

I do my best to amalgamate all 3 into some comprehensible NOW

Some days are harder than others.


Try to enjoy NOW.

Cause now is fleeting.  It is gone before you know it.

Engagement – Wedding – First House – First Pregnancy – Newborns – Toddlers – First Day of School – First Day of HS – Graduation… and poof they are leaving home

FASTEST 20 / 25 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE over in what feels like an instant !!

Don’t wish you NOW away on dreams of tomorrow

Or you’ll be spending your tomorrows dreaming of yesterday

SAVOUR what you have

(( HUGS ))


Post # 12
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I feel exactly the same. 2015 is looking to be a big year for me as well, and I try not to stress so much about my future career, FI’s career, making the right decisions, making the grade, etc…but it gets tough..

Post # 13
865 posts
Busy bee

Buddhism advocates living in the present.  Go to a Buddhist discussion group and learn about what they practice.  Buddhism may shock you at first and you’ll probably initially completely disagree with what they have to say because it is so contrary to where you are now but there are one truths and value to it.  Like anything, it can be taken an extreme and abused (it would be fantastic if we could all spend our time meditating peacefully forever but we all need to eat) but learning about Buddhist beliefs may help you to recognize and be grateful for the many blessings you have right now. I was absolutely shocked by it at first, but it has truly been a life changing learning experience for me.  Do i agree with everything they discuss, no but i definitely benefitted from many of their learnings  Best wishes!

Post # 14
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Mint2Bee:  I can definitely empathise! I’m trying to live more in the moment, myself.

Post # 16
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I used to live in the future, all throughout college I did that and a few yrs after, but I honestly do not remember those days because all I did was think ahead.  I can’t get those years back which makes me sad.  I made no friends and made no memories.

I suggest traveling.  I book an international trip every year… that’s my way of living in the now 🙂

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