(Closed) Anyone else have family sabateurs?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Um, my family supports my relationship with J since he is a wonderful guy. I have this problem with J’s mother though. So, similar, but I’m on the receiving end. She has talked about me to J’s grandparents, who now dislike me even without meeting me, and has worked on poisoning other family member’s opinion about me including J himself.

If it’s really that bad and it’s bothering you (which it looks like it is) you should speak up.

Tell your family something in your comfort zone along the lines of “Look, J is the man I love and plan to marry someday. It really hurts me that you would say this about him when I know it couldn’t be further from the truth. Please keep these comments to yourself.”

Something of that nature.

If you really want to hash it out and get to the root of what’s up, you may try and sit down with your sister and rationally ask her “WTH”. Give specific examples and try not to be overly emotional and present it as you really want to hear what she has to say. In the end you would probably end up saying something along the lines of “I really appreciate your concern, but I’m very happy with J. These comments just hurt me and our relationship ( as in yours and your sisters).”

Post # 5
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Ah. I’m sorry that your attempts to fix the issues have been completely side-stepped by your family.

I do know that these sort of things do end up working themselves out. Unfortunately sometimes the fix is distance.

I’m really sorry you have to deal with this, but I’m glad to know that you are standing by your guy like this. I know as a reciever of this crap, it means everything to me and if J doesn’t stand by me on this issues we will never work.

Good luck. People change drastically sometimes and there is always a pretty decent chance of things getting better.

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