(Closed) Anyone else have horrible etiquette prior to being a bride?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m a stickler for etiquette, so I haven’t learned anything so far. Sorry!

Post # 4
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have totally done some things that I realize now were really rude. One of my friends from high school got engaged when we were in college. I was so excited when he told us (we were all home from Christmas break in our hometown) that I asked if we could all come!

He invited us and we had fun, but in the last two years I started feeling horrible that I did that. I was just young and really had no idea what went into wedding planning. He was my first friend who got engaged and I was really excited. 

I emailed him a few months ago and told him I felt terrible about asking to be invited to his wedding several years back. He was really nice about it and said he was just happy taht we were all enthusiastic about making the trip 4 hours from where we live to see him get married. I don’t know if he really felt that was or if he was still cursing me under his breath, but it was nice.

I still feel terrible for doing what I did though 🙁

Post # 5
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

Nope, nothing changed for me. These manners aren’t special to weddings and are things I’ve grown up doing.

I also have studied etiquette books, and participated in a few message boards specifically around rules of etiquette, and behaving politely. Its a subject I find very interesting.

Post # 6
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think this falls under etiquette but, I honestly and truly never realized how much weddings cost per person and how much the bride and groom (or their parents) were paying for me to be there celebrating with them so, I have been a horrible gifter. I wish I could go back and redo all of the gifts I have ever given at every wedding. I have been that horrbile person that brings boxed gifts to the reception not thinking about the bride and groom having to lug it home or the person that gives half of the cost of their plate (not saying guests have to pay for their plate but, if I could go back and redo it all I would give about the cost of my plate plus a little extra). It honestly makes me embarassed that I was “that person” at all of the prior weddings I have been to. I mean, I know I more than likely wasn’t the only one but, still, it REALLY bothers me.

Post # 7
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I pretty much made tons of ettiquite no-no’s. TONS. It’s embarrassing to think back on them, but I hope I didn’t offend anybody. I actually wore a white dress to a wedding once. It wasn’t fancy, nobody would have mistaken me for the bride, but I didn’t know it was rude. I didn’t even KNOW the couple…I went with the groom’s brother. I went to a wedding of a childhood friend and brought my roomate as my univited +1. I didn’t bring a gift. I have been to many weddings without a gift when I was in college. I didn’t know any better! I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for one friend and didn’t give her a gift/card on the day of. I BOUGHT a wedding card, but forgot to bring it with me. I RSVPd to a wedding and then didn’t go because I was not feeling social. The list goes on….

Post # 8
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My family has another family that we’ve been friends with forever. My grandparents started it and by dad is good friends with their kids and I, in turn was friends with the grandkids. We hung out a lot as kids but grew apart as we got older and now only see each other at things like our annual giant 4th of July party. The oldest son in the friend’s family was getting married a couple years ago and about 2 weeks before the wedding I ran into his mom and got to talking to her and, out of the blue she invited me to the wedding. My grandmother was already going, so I came with her. Now the mother of the groom was the one that did the inviting, so I don’t feel too terrible, but I now look back and think that may not have gone over so well with the bride (who I had never met before the wedding). OOPS! But oh well, it was good to see the family and the groom and most of all his cousin who I hadn’t see in forever so we spent most of the reception catching up.

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