(Closed) Anyone Else Have Issues With THEIR Parents?! Don’t get me started about inlaws!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@The Future Mrs.Freckles: Mrs. Freckles, I am sorry to hear that your stepdad treated you cruelly and still does.   I empathized with you, I have a stepdad that was cruel and use to beat us up and insult us, made us walk when he had a van, and was a violent man.  My mom married him when I was 9 years of age, they are still married, and like all relationships he was kind and bought us things.

Since I was 9 years of age, I had this hatred and resentment until I was 27 years of age , I am now 29 years of age.  That feeling will take a while to go away, what helped me was talking to my sister and husband about it but most importantly crying and talking to God about it. God was the best listener (not preaching to you but telling you what I did)!    I remember graduating from college , I did not want him to attend, my credential program graduation either or to have anything to do with my personal life.  

Life, my mother, my husband , and brother in law, and Mr.A have changed me, they taught me to let go of the past, not to dwell on it, but look at the positive things from it. At the time I was “what was so positive about beatings” but now as an educator the signs of an abused child are clear to me.  I learned to be independent and self-sufficient, but most importantly to be humble and kind because each person is fighting a battle that we are not aware of.

When I got engaged he was there 2008 (at that point in my life he was welcomed) I saw him not that fat robust man but a fragile old lonely man that no one spoke to other than my kind sister M that fed him.   He lived place to place when he could have lived with us however when we were being evicted in 2001 he say “I just get my f**** things and leave and you guys figure it out”   years later he is the one figuring out what he did to us as children has come back.

However, I believe that people are good and my family is one of them. 

 

If bad people never take a day off then why should the GOOd

Post # 4
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Don’t invite him. He’s abusive, and a poisonous person. Simple as that.

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I, too, struggle with my own parents. I won’t go into the details of what has gone wrong between us over the years but through wedding planning I’ve learned that distance between Fiance and I and my parents is the only way to go. They are who they are and will never change, sadly. You’re getting married and starting your own family so take it as an opportunity to start fresh and not repeat any of your parents’ mistakes. Best of luck getting through the wedding with them.  

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