(Closed) Anyone else have problems sharing the bed?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2039 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I usually sleep like a rock so I can sleep through mosst of DH’s shenanigans. But he sleepwalks and talks in his sleep and that can get really annoying. The other night he was rooting around in the bed on his hands and knees and told me we were going on an adventure. Last night he woke me up convinced we needed to leave to go somewhere at 2 am. Those antics definitely drives me bananas. Also, he’s a 6’3” 275 lb former football player, so his sleep activities are just insane.

You’re sweet to wear eye shades for him! I would have told him to read downstairs and come to bed when he was done lol. But we are the reverse of you, and I like to stay up late reading!

Post # 4
Member
479 posts
Helper bee

Well at least he’s just reading his kindle and not watching tv in the room lol. When I used to share a room with my sister, she would also have insomnia sometimes and would stay up late watching movies. Noise and light bothers me greatly at night, so it was horrible when I had to wake up early in the morning the next day. I think it’s so sweet that he offered to sleep on the couch, but I would never let my SO do that either.

I use a bipap to sleep at night, and I used to be terrified that I wouldn’t be able to let SO sleep at night with my machine. We don’t live together, but we’ve gone on vacations where I take my machine overnight, and I was so surprised he slept like a rock as soon as he put his head on the pillow. So I guess it worked out perfectly, he’s definetly a heavy sleeper. 

 

So I don’t have any advice, but I can just kind of relate to both of you because I’ve been in your situation where I can’t sleep because of someone else in the room, and also of me possibly being the one that can’t let the other person sleep. Oh but something that helped a little being able to sleep through the light and noise was really tyring myself out before bed. I would workout at home with weights about 1-2hrs before bed. 

Post # 5
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m on the other side. I am a major insomniac. I hate it. I spend half my life being shattered. I’ll be tired all day, get into bed, and suddenly I’m wide awake. Thankfully my boyfriend sleeps like a rock. He gets straight in bed and falls asleep. It’s only when I have such a bad night that I’m tossing and turning that it keeps him up. We go to bed around 11ish, but if I’m still wide awake an hour later then I’ll start reading or get up and go downstairs to do something just until I feel tired again. I wish I could stay in bed, but it’s so hard, unhealthy and miserable lying there for hours next to someone as they sleep. You do sound like you aren’t as heavy a sleeper as my boyfriend though, so eye shades are a good idea. I hope your other half gets better at sleeping!

Post # 6
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I heard about one couple who didn’t sleep together until they were married. He sleeps “upside down” so his feet would be at the head of the bed, near her head and her feet near his head… she didn’t know what to do… so be glad yours doesn’t sleep in weird positions!

Post # 7
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I could have written this! It’s a struggle for us too. I love going to bed early while he is a complete night owl! He will stay up till 4am reading or working from the bed. I’m a light sleeper so him typing keeps me up as well as the light from the computer. He bought a headlight so he can read documents in bed which is hilarious! And I have tried several sleep mask but I’m afraid it’s too tight on my face and will cause wrinkles. He is also a night eater except he’s not conscious of it. It’s so weird he doesn’t even remember doing it. So far I have woken up to roast beef on my face (I’m a strict vegan), a pool of melted Popsicles that he was covered in and completely sticky, he also finished the top layer of our wedding cake the day we were married. Half the cake was on the floor next to the bed. That happens 2-3 times a week… We’ll never have nice sheets! Sorry no advice, but I can sure commiserate πŸ™‚ 

Post # 8
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We sleep in the same room but I sleep on our couch and he sleeps on the bed. I have health problems and I need my sleep whereas DH thrashes about and pushes me out and its too disturbing. We find our cuddle time throughout the day but man, I fucking love all the sleep I now get

Post # 9
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We have the same problem but reversed, I’m the one staying up reading. I turn the brightness all the way down and pull the covers over my head to block the light.

Post # 10
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

It sounds like you’ve reached a good compromise. I think Fiance and I are past the difficulties for the most part… My side of the bed is against the wall, and I usually have to get up before he does in the morning, so climbing over him annoys me. But we can’t situate our bed any other way in his tiny bedroom but we will be able to have space on both sides in our new house, thank God! lol 

He also suffers from bouts of insomnia but he’ll get up and go into the living room to watch tv or get work done. Lately I haven’t even noticed him getting out of bed (his movement used to wake me up). So I think we’re getting along well lol 

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

We have DEFINITELY had sleep issues!! …and most of them are my fault…LOL 

Started off – we had a Queen size bed and we are both big people…not fat, just not small – he is 6’2, I am 5’7…in addition, we had a 100 pound dog that liked to sleep with us (my dog coming into the relationship) …on top of that, I like to watch tv to fall asleep, we both get REALLY warm at night, I get up to pee in the middle of the night (pretty much always), and if he has even one drink, he snores…oh, and we both like to sleep with a bunch of pillows…

I gotta hand it to him – he NEVER complained about the dog in the bed…not once (I don’t know if I would have been so gracious if the roles were reversed…I would like to think I would have been, but not sure)…the dog would literally somehow manage to take up 2/3 of the bed and he and I would both be hanging off 1/6th of the bed on each side…the dog was old, and he recognized he would not be around for ever and didn’t want to make him change the bad habit I enabled for so many years (sadly, the dog has since passed away πŸ™ )

So – we upgraded to a King size bed a year ago with an Icomfort mattress that has been WONDERFUL for our relationship…LOL…we now have PLENTY of space on the bed – there was even plenty of room with the dog…we don’t get as warm anymore…if I get up to go to the bathroom, he doesn’t feel the whole bed move…also, me watching tv at night doesn’t bother him as much (he said it’s because the bed is so comfortable, the second his head hits the pillow, he is out)

 

Post # 12
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have a similar problem… But it usually has to do with him playing on his phone and/or turning over and breathing heavily *directly* into my face haha! If I’m cranky, I’ll just give him a little shove.

I also tried eye shades but they made me feel too constrained and somehow always managed to get tangled in my hair. One thing that has helped is our Snoozeenie (silly name), which is a foam pillow that you can put between you and your FI–it sounds a lot more hostile than it actually is! I even used it when I had a wicked cold a few weeks ago and didn’t want to spread germs. I’d recommend checking it out, I ordered one off the website http://www.snoozeenie.com

Hope that helps!!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  ilikeeich.
Post # 13
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’d prefer to sleep alone most of the time. He goes to sleep straightaway and usually snores. I take a lot longer to sleep and then his snoring keeps me awake. I end up surfing wedding bee with the brightness on my phone down at minimum!

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