(Closed) Anyone else have problems with Mom?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh I have mamma drama. Just not wedding related. My mom is a recovering alcoholic and when she was 10 she sent me to live with my aunt and uncle. Ever since she has been sober, at least 10 years. She has been the most selfish person I have ever met. She hasn’t been at any of the major moments in my life and she has already kind of expressed that she is going to flake out coming to my wedding. Because her life is all about her. I am only important if she needs to brag to someone about how amazing of a mom she is because her daughter is “gifted.”

 

uhuh, the wolves should be taking credit, if anyone. 😉

Post # 5
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yes!! Im sorry that your mom is being so negative towards your FI! 

One of my ex’s called my mom one night and wanted to meet up, well my mom was busy..so she drove to another town to where he works (1 hour and 15 minutes from where she lives) to go and eat! From then on she always talks about him and talks about how good a guy he was. And she is not very excited about our wedding either! 

Post # 8
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Not in that same way but my mother is overtly negative and it took a really long time to shake that same habit. My mom gets so angry that I don’t call her as often as I call others. She pumps my sister for information about what I say about her because I talk to my sister about once a day.

I got in a car accident in August and I called my SO first but he was in the middle of a softball game and I couldn’t reach him so I called my Future Mother-In-Law. My mom was so angry she yelled at me because how dare I call my Future Mother-In-Law instead of my mother. She didn’t even ask me if I was ok.

I could go on and on about my mother and how we don’t exactly see eye to eye. I’m sorry your mom says mean things about your Fiance. I hate the idea that you should always adore your mother because they are just as imperfect as anyone else.

Post # 10
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@HoneyBear: She about fell out of her chair when I said I wasn’t getting married in a church. She pretty much thinks everyones marriages are doomed because she divorced my dad. I know she feels like her kids don’t “need” her anymore so SO and I really worry that she is going to have a hard time with us planning our wedding because we are very much a unit and our own little family. We don’t share similar views on pretty much everything and our tastes are vastly different so I’m not to sure how well it will go over. 

Does your mom at least enjoy helping you with the wedding plans even though she isn’t always a fan of your FI?

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

My mom just doesn’t like me. SHe loves Fiance.

Post # 13
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@SoontobeMrsA:haha Sometimes it feels that way for me as well. SO is a total gentleman and does whatever my mother asks. He’s such a brown noser 🙂

 

@HoneyBear: Why is it that no matter who is around to listen you just want your mom to listen, like it and say nice things? I cannot even go shopping with my mother because it is disasterous every time. Boo.

Post # 14
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I can relate!

I’ve long known that my relationship with my Mom is not what it should be, and I’m working to be ok with that but it really gets to me when she starts in on my Fiance. In the years when we were dating he was so kind and good to her, going way above and beyond to help her out even when she was treating me like crap and behaving like a selfish child. Then when she started to realize that he was taking my attention away from her she started turning on him. She will do things like pick on him incessantly until finally she has frustrated and insulted him so much that he finally said a less than angelic thing, and then she will come to me and try and tell me how he has anger issues, etc and how nasty he really is. Umm, no. I know for a fact (because I’ve lived this reality all my life) that even the most wonderful and well adjusted person can say a less than nice thing if they are repeatedly harrased. But this is how she is. Every little (perceived) offense to her is a federal case that is brought up daily and weekly for years, whereas she has a very good reason to excuse anything and everything mean that she ever says or does. ugh, yeah. I’m moving to Vancouver Island and am glad that there will be some ocean between us. At least until she follows me over here. And she will.

She wants to be involved with wedding planning, but I haven’t included her because I just can’t handle it. I will tell her about things when they are already settled and paid for, and even then she will argue to try and get her way. I usually try and respond firmly and politely and then hang up or walk out and I don’t make contact again with her. Usually then next time she calls she is better behaved.

Post # 15
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not so much with my mom she is just completely uninvolved. She won’t talk to me LOL. The only time she talks to me is to do the whole guilt trip thing… My dad on the other hand likes to talk crap about my Fiance any chance he gets… It is quite sad. 

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