(Closed) Anyone else having a much bigger wedding than they wanted?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i expected ours to be smallish but with parents involved we’re around 500+ guests.  honestly, the only way i can cope with it is say wahoo i’m having a big crazy italian wedding and its going to be a party.  then my expectations will be fulfilled.  really, the wedding is for everybody else anyway so might as well just go with the flow.  how often do you get to hang out with all these people in celebration of you?  are there going to be people you don’t know at all?  and then theres the thought that not everyone will come so hopefully its just people you want that show up ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh mine is like this. We wanted to have 40-70 people and have ended up with 150. Not as extreme as your examples, but it still feels pretty insane. 

Post # 5
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Mines isnt that big, but Fiance and I only wanted 20 – 30 guests, a really small intimate wedding at the moment our guest list is around 70. I know compared to your lists that is still tiny but its double what we wanted! And of course double the price ๐Ÿ™

Post # 6
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes. I wanted a close family and wedding party only wedding; my Darling Husband wanted to invite the whole dang state. We compromised with a smaller wedding (100, still a little bigger than I wanted) in one place one weekend and a big reception (300+) in his hometown the next.

I don’t necessarily regret it, because I know it made him happy, but I really could have done without it.

If it makes you feel any better, the yes responses often come first, and there will probably be a few people that RSVP yes and then don’t come.

And here I thought I was the only person that was silently praying for/celebrating “No” RSVPs!

Post # 7
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

YES – abort mission! We wanted 80ish, close family and closest friends. After our parents’ (mostly mine) guest list contributions, we ended up inviting 220 and had 120 in attendance. I hated it – it was so much bigger than what I’d wanted and what I wanted to plan for. 

Post # 8
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I always pictured having a smaller wedding like my sister and brother’s, less than 200 people, closer to 100.  Our current invitee list is between 300-350.  My fiance has a rather large family on his mother’s side.  Since its out of town for like half the invite list, its a toss up on how many people will actually come.  We’re secretly hoping for a high RSVP no rate.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh I totally feel your pain! I just ha da huge blow out with my Father-In-Law and Fiance because of his HUGE ITALIAN FAMILY. I always dreamt of a good sized wedding of about 120-150 people MAX. The night we got engaged, they drew up a list of 165 people ONLY FAMILY! I have 3 sides to ym family and got my list to 85 to accomodate them….they never asked what I had envisioned. I fell in love with a venure but my Future Mother-In-Law said “no its too small” without asking if I liked it. For 6 months Ive been fighting with Fiance….last night I called my Future Mother-In-Law and told her I was happy it was worth it to her to save face over me marrying her son because the wedding was off. That finally made her and my Future Father-In-Law see the hell they had created for me. My list is now 263 but they said they’d cut it down. I hope they do! I am so sorry you have to deal with the same thing….it is so aggrevating because you want to create a special day for you and the man you love, but have to please others. And if you say anything, you’re called ungrateful or a bridezilla!

I hope you don’t have to resort to such drama as I did…..but perhaps really letting them see what it feels like for you would help. Is it better to offend someone over the happiness of your child? Hang in there, fellow Bee. I wish you all the love and happiness the world has to offer!

Post # 10
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I was almost in this position. We wanted to have a wedding around 40 people (just our immediate families) but then my step-dad went and told my uncle (who my family has had some problems with recently but just started to reconcile with) that he and his family were invited, which means that now we had to invite all our aunts and uncles and most cousins, bringing the guest list to over 200. So we switched gears and decided on a destination wedding in Mexico so we invited everyone, but are still having only around 40 people come… muahahahahahaha Cool

 

That sucks though. If I were you I would look into a destination elopement just for the two of you a little while before the big hullaballoo so that you get your special day for the two of you and then you feel less stressed about going through the motions of the big wedding when it happens.

Post # 11
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m on the same boat! We want a smaller-ish wedding (200 guests) but we are having a typical Armenian wedding with 300-400 guests. I still haven’t really accepted that number, yet. 

Post # 12
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I think 200 is enough but Fiance and I both come from BIG families…let’s just say my cousin had like 400 UGH. However, bigger weddings are more fun ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

ME! I wanted 50 tops; 25 on each side! My fiance said my mom will never forgive us, now our guest count is at 137. Nothing compared to yours, but not what I wanted. We are waiting for our RSVP’s to come back, I’m sure it will be smaller, but not the private smalle wedding I wanted. However, I am grateful that we have that many people that love and want to celebrate with us.

 

Post # 14
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wanted a tiny wedding compared to you guys (50) My mum had 176 at her wedding and I was always like “no that way too big!”

 

Now my wedding has blown out to 130 and our reception place will hold max 110 so we need to cull.

 

*sigh* I just don’t see the point in paying for heaps of people half you don’t know or like to come to a wedding.

Post # 15
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Not as extreme as you but I wanted to elope, which my friends and family were just fine with, but fiance’s family guilt tripped him into a traditional wedding. Our guest list is now at 144 people, which is significantly higher than my planned 10 people. I am worried that I will hate it, we’ve already upset one set of grandparents by not having it in town (we’re doing a mini destination wedding about 2.5 hours away) but my whole family is traveling from 2 states away and don’t mind at all. I hope it all turns out okay and you still have fun and love every minute of your day!

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