(Closed) Anyone else hoping for a proposal soon when they know it won’t happen?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

I definitely can. We’re both looking for work and then will be planning a move depending on who gets a job first (we’re LDR) so I know we won’t be getting engaged until those two things happen yet I am wistful that he would propose anyway, even though that would mean going against his own words, something I know he won’t do. But it would still be awesome. See, my point exactly. LOL

Post # 4
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The closer to the end of the year it gets, the more I have this feeling that it’s going to be a while yet before I am engaged just because of all the expenses we have had in the last few months, so I think my ring is still in the shop waiting for the balance to be paid off!

That doesn’t stop me from wishing and hoping though for some Christmas/new years proposal magic to happen! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yeah, this was me a few months ago.  We went on a trip over the summer, and I really hoped it would happen, even though I knew it wasn’t going to.  Then, a couple months ago, I was getting ready to leave for an internship abroad.  We won’t get to see each other until mid-December.  I really hoped he’d do it before I left.  I knew damned well it wasn’t going to happen, but I felt disappointed nonetheless.  It felt a little better that my best friend thought he was an idiot for not proposing before I left.  haha.


Just be careful that the disappointment of it not happening doesn’t lead to resentment.  It has in my case.  At this point, I’m done hoping and going for Mr. Bee’s backup plan, because this resentment is killing my relationship.

Post # 6
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can! I am much closer now – towards the end of my wait I hope – but a few years ago I knew I would have to wait a lot longer but I kept hoping. Stay strong. It sounds like you have a good man there ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
1363 posts
Bumble bee

*cuddles* I feel like this some days and others I want to wait. I don’t even WANT it to happen any time soon most days. Then I have down days and days when I want it right now and am waiting for what is not going to happen because he hasn’t even considered it fully yet – it is just a “one day” thing for him. You’re not the only one, not by a long way.

Post # 9
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

*raises hand* I would love a New Years proposal!  And I know it would make my dad a lot happier since he is being deployed for a year in January.  And before anyone asks, I’m 27 and haven’t lived at home for over 4 years.  He would just feel a lot calmer knowing my SO and I are engaged and not just ‘playing house.’

But because of finances, I know it’s not going to be for at least 6 months ๐Ÿ™ And we’ve been looking at rings which makes it even harder to wait.  If we hadn’t started that, I’d probably be fine and not twiddling my thumbs wondering when it’s going to happen.

Post # 10
23 posts

ME!!!  I know how you feel, I just tell myself, it will happen when it’s meant to…It is not something that can be forced

Post # 11
150 posts
Blushing bee

we are definitely waiting for jobs to get lined up and our finances to fall in line, but i keep hoping he is about to propose! I’m guessing in reality it will be June of next year at the VERY earliest, probably more like the end of 2012.

we are going on a cruise in january, though, and i can’t help but think how romantic it would be for him to propose while we are on our trip!

Post # 12
64 posts
Worker bee

@audrey2 – I know what your feeling! I dont know how many times i’ve googled “why wont my boyfriend propose?” It makes me real sad.

@abirdword – I started feeling resentment too, but it just makes me think real bad things…i try really hard not to get down about it.

When i first started dating SO he said he never wanted to get married, and i flipped out and he said “ok well, maybe someday”. SO said 2 years ago that in about 10 years he’ll do it. and just recently like last month he said 10 years. (i’m 27). I told him the other day that if he wants his army of babies then we’d have to get started. He seemed open to the idea lol (will refrain from his exact words -they are kinda R rated in a good way lol). He knows i want a life with him and he knows i like sparkly things. He’s seen pix on my cell phone of halo emerald cuts that i don’t show him, he just comes across them while flipping thru my pix. and he has a better job so now he can save the money….acutally i think he should have more in his savings than i think he does so i’m hoping and hoping that it might be “dissappearing” because he’s financing a ring for christmas. those are my hopes and where my heart is. My brain is going 0% chance it will happen within the next 5 years. A girl can dream.

Post # 13
320 posts
Helper bee

This is totally me!  

I know full well I am not getting a proposal ANY time soon. SO and I just had a discussion about it not 2 weeks ago, the summary of which being he has a lot of catching up to do financially before he can actually purchase a ring..  *sigh*  

But my stupid girl brain causes me to feel like there is a possibility that he’s saying these things to throw me off, and that he has something planned.  So yeah, right now with the holidays coming up I am very anxious and wondering if there will be a surprise for me.  God I’m dumb!

Post # 16
2 posts

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together over 5 years. We have been living together for 4 and have become pretty much set and accepted by both sides of the families at this point. I know we will get married one day. I know he is my future husband and through all seasons that we have faced together, that he truly loves me. I feel blessed and overjoyed everytime I think about how we have found each other. Having experienced many obstacles over the years, there were countless tears, broken things, couples therapy, and growing up together from college teenage love to mature young adults love have definitely taught us great lessons. We are both turning 27 this year. While I don’t “demand” to be married today, I am anxious/stressed out/pressured by biological clock to get our wedding planning going. The thing is, his and my families are from two different countries. We will definitely have at least 2 weddings if not 3 (our homelands + US).  We have casually discussed several details at nights before we go to bed on things such as location, color themes, decorations, not to mention the fact that we both love the same simple solitaire round cut ring which we have browsed jewelry stores together on more than 10 occasions. So to a certain level, I know his head is in this, and I am comforted by that, and it’s really what’s getting me going anymore nowadays unfortunately. 


In 2012, about 50% of the people I know got engaged or married. And I have been reading several posts from this website to cope with my jealousy, disappointment, and bitterness each time I receive the news of yet another engagement. I have broken down and cried, which he saw, which resulted into our own argument of him saying that I’m upset and taking it out on him many times. I had made it clear several years ago that I am not going to be an unwed 30 yr old with a 10 year long time boyfriend. To me, that just shows that our relationship is never going to go anywhere. He was ok with that, although did joke that he’ll just wait until we are 29 then. So this is usually the source of our arguments bc he says that we were on the same page back then, and as time changed in the past 2 years especially and so many of our friends and acquaintances went from single to married, I changed with them into wanting it earlier now, which was not what we planned on. That is true. But like I said, I’m not saying that I want to be married tomorrow, but as I’m hearing more and more about wedding planning and discussing our preferences with him, I already know that our wedding(s) are going to be twice if not thrice as chaotic as a typical wedding. In his country, he wants to have the reception at this yacht club where his parents were the first couple to get married at. These things take months if not years of booking in advance. With all our families and so many weddings, when will they all be? Which relative is going to which country? Do we just fly from location to location and get everything done in a week? Do we spread out two weddings over the span of the year or two (this is how my sister did her weddings)? There are sooo many things to think about that even if he proposes today, it’s not like we can get married next week, or next year even. 


I recently wrote him an email sharing my concerns. We are at such a cusp age that its easy to think that we are still young why think about marriage, and easy to think that “maturity” and “family” is just right around the corner. He didn’t reply to my email and never spoke of it, which was what I was expecting. When I saw him that day when I knew he read it, he was normal but happy. Not irritated as if I was being childish or annoying. So I felt comforted by that that he was hearing my reasons and that it’s more than just “boo hoo other girls have rings on their fingers why don’t I?”. A couple days later I had another break down episode when I found out another girl got engaged. And he for the first time came to comfort me and told me not to be sad or cry. I know I must be reading too much into it, but it sure gives me hope that he may finally propose this year. He has high standards. While he is no romantic on a daily basis, when he does pull a surprise on me, he is the best in the world. I wouldn’t expect any less from his proposal. I did remind him in my email how important it is for him to ask for my father’s permission in person, which I was certain hasnt happened however have found it strange that my sister’s been asking me so many wedding and family planning questions lately such as have you thought about your dress, how many bridesmaids, how many kids, will I change my last name… I just don’t know if she’s just asking bc we have been together for so long and we are getting to that age or something has already triggered and is in the works. 


I am trying to tell myself to hang in there and appreciate the love and relationship that we have, which isn’t defined by a ring, ceremony, or stupid facebook status for that matter. We even have friends who are married and already walking down divorce lane. So the fact that I know that what we have is stronger than whatever binds them by law makes me feel reassured. On the other hand, there is the little princess inside me that I am sure you are all too familiar with. I want to show the world that THIS is the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. To me, it will feel more as a milestone of all that we’ve been through to get to what, who, and where we are today. I know our relationship will be different 50 years from now, but I wouldnt want to grow old, fight, learn, teach, compromise with anybody else other than this man. 

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