(Closed) Anyone else in a LDR with their FAMILY?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I oved across the Atlantic for my Fiance. I guess we didn’t have the parent meeting problem because he was first living in the state where my parents live but I had seriously discussed moving with him before they met.  He didn’t know them very well and had never joined me for a visit home or family celebration before he proposed.

I think it is important to do a face to face meeting for a first meeting instead of a web cam. Could you even catch a flight for a long weekend? Maybe plan a short visit where you stay with your parents for 2-3 days, go out to dinner and just have some casual time for him to get to know them and vice versa. Flights are pretty cheap right now, use that to your advantage so you don’t feel guilty about he short visit.

Post # 5
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m the opposite.  I live on the east coast about 3 hours from my FI’s family so we visit them frequently!  But MY family is about 2500 miles away in New Mexico ๐Ÿ™  I miss them so much but only see them once or twice a year.  I came to school on the east coast and have stayed here ever since. But my FI’s family is an amazing substitue for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is it possible for your family to plan a trip down? I was in the same situation, but since my fiance and I talked about getting married before he proposed I was able to let my family know where we headed. It was about 7 months into our relationship, but my dad and his girlfriend flew down for a long weekend so they could meet and that is when Chris asked for his permission. Have you tried to let your parents know you are dating someone you plan to marry?

Post # 7
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Perhaps you can offer to pay 1/2 of your mother’s ticket and have her come down. I think you should definitely (if you haven’t already) express your feelings about them not coming to see you. I had the same trouble only opposite ends of the US (I was in Jersey and my family in OK.) I met what I thought was the man of my dreams and not one person came to visit in an entire year. In the end, i moved to Mississippi and now I am about to marry my college sweetheart. So for me, if they would have come to meet him, he probably would have proposed and I would not be in the place I am today. I believe that things happen for a reason, but I also think that a man who can’t wait to marry you…wont. If you guys are just too excited to wait, and your familiy wont or can’t come…do the webchat and call it a day. I mean truly what does meeting the family do?? They either like easchother or they don’t. I guess you need to ask yourself, “Would I not marry him if they don’t get along?”

Is this something that is more important to you??

I know it sucks to be patient, but if he’s not willing to propose without consent or meeting your family, then you have only one choice….Wait. Trust me, don’t rush marriage. Everything will work out!

Sorry I think I just gave you a bunch of mixed energy ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, remember that YOUR happiness and HIS happiness is all that matters. Us bees are only passing opinions!

Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My family is in GA, FI’s in in WY and we’re, well, here.  It’s tough sometimes, and I can empathize.  The first time I meet his parents will be at our wedding!

Post # 9
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I moved from Texas to Pennsylvania, where I met my now-FI. After we’d been together a little over a year, we planned a trip down to Texas together so he could meet my family. It was just a long weekend over the summer, so there was no pressure of a big family reunion (my family’s not that big anyway – or, we are, but we dislike the outer factions lol) or family-related event.

I guess I don’t really have any advice. Now that I’m planning the wedding though, I’m realizing how hard it is to do without family around ๐Ÿ™ It sucks. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Not never, but my parents have only met Darling Husband maybe 3 times in the last 5+ years we’ve been together. It’s not much and sadly, it makes them skeptical of him. They’re always “well we don’t trust anybody, we don’t really know him” and i’m like “tough noogies, i’ve known him for 5+ years!” My folks live 5 hours away and we don’t see them that often. They can be intense to say the least

Post # 11
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well….my situation is a little bit different, however I know how you feel.

My situation is that he does not get a long with his mother or sister…which all live here in my town.  His brother (whom he only gets a long with) lives in Fl.  So even though we have been together for 4 years now, I have yet to meet any of his family at all.  I am kinda bummed since I’m a very family oriented person and would love to meet his family, but I don’t want him  to feel uncomfortable

Post # 12
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Right now, we live about a 6.5 hour car drive from my family but about a 3 hour plane ride from my FI’s parents. We don’t see either side very often but my family more so than his because it’s easier and less expensive. I’ve been away from my family for about 5 years and I’m ready to move back to be closer to them. After the wedding, that is the plan (FI and I will be moving back up there).

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