Post # 1
My husband and I just got married a month ago and we are trying to conceive. I didn’t use an opk during our 14 day honeymoon, trying to be easy going about the whole thing but we had sex pretty much everyday.
My period is expected tomorrow and I took my first pregnancy test yesterday and it negative. I didn’t think I was pregnant anyways because I have really bad PMS symptoms like I usually do before I get my period.
It is a weird feeling getting my first negative pregnancy test…. I knew it would take several months, but for some reason I really hoped that I was different. It is a little dissapointing which I am sure is normal but it is strange knowing that I may have to be dissapointed for several months before it happens. I purchased my first OPK kit online that I will use next month, but I also know that I don’t want to stress out about it. I don’t think I want to temp every day because I feel like that will stress me out. I don’t stressed necessarly yet as I realize this is only my first month… so I am going to try and keep busy and be relaxed about it, especially over the summer which everyone tells me to do, including my husband. I think it is also tough because I am in my early 30’s and wish I had more time to be relaxed about the whole conceving thing.
Just wondering if anyone else is just starting to try, and how you felt about your first time you took a pregnancy test? Anything you have done to try not to stress out about?
Post # 2
Springtimefever: It’s totally normal to have that feeling. You are told for years that if you have unprotected sex once, you’ll get pregnant. No one expects it will take a long time!
It is normal to take 4 months with perfect timing, or a year without tempting/ opks. I know I was disappointed my first cycle (BFN and a long cycle), but I got a positive the next cycle and the cycle after that. Try not to stress and just enjoy it.
I didn’t do anything to track ovulation the first cycle and starting tempting the second cycle because it was a loooong cycle. Temped the following cycle, then just added in OPKs this cycle. I find them to be a waste– there was no mistaking when I O’ed. The cervical fluid is a clear give-away for me.
Post # 3
Oh, and I didn’t get a positive for my first pregnancy until 4 days after my period was due. You are never out until AF shows!
Post # 4
Springtimefever: I felt the same way! Like you, this is our first time trying and although it can take time, I guess deep down, I wanted a BFP when I took my first test. I was so excited to POAS (thanks Bees for trying to warn me that this would become addictive)! Lol
I haven’t shared the fact that we are trying with anyone except the Bees here, so keeping it in has been a little hard…not even my BFF knows (and she asks or hints all the time). One thing, like you and the PP mentioned, try not to stress and it will happen. For me, I try to keep busy with other things like working out, decorating, and most recently gardening. Hang in there!
Post # 5
It can be frustrating. We haven’t been trying that long either. I have taken several pregnancy tests, all negative. For me, my prolactin is elevated, not sure if that is what is preventing me from becoming pregnant. I see my obgyn on Thursday. I am a little frustrated, but I know that when the time is right it will happen. I have a great doctor as well.
Keep trying and keep positive. I find that keeping busy helps, taking up a hobby in sparetime, something to take your mind off it. When your body is ready it will happen. Good luck on your TTC journey!
Post # 6
BFNs are the worst. We are on cycle 8 TTC #2, and I’m telling myself I need to stop testing because every negative test (including that first one from cycle 1) is like a punch to the gut. We temp and use OPKs, so I am not quite sure what is going on, especially since we conceived our daughter so easily. I totally understand, it really sucks! I have been really into working out to keep myself distracted.
Post # 7
I’m also in my early 30s TTC baby #1 and it is so frustrating to get BFNs month after month. We’re on our 4th cycle actively trying, although we haven’t been preventing since October (so, 8 months or so?).
TTC is such a roller coaster of emotions. You have so much hope at the beginning of every new cycle. That “this is going to be the month!” feeling. As you go through the first couple weeks waiting to O, you begin to lose hope. Then with any luck, the magic happens, you produce an egg, and the hope is renewed. Then you wait. You symptom spot. You keep waiting. Your brain convinces your body that it’s pregnant and every little tweak becomes a sign. You wait some more. Then the major letdown of the BFN and/or AF arriving. It’s so hard as that wheel grinds on and on. I sometimes read the 6+ month/1+ year TTC boards and the TTC after loss boards and can’t even imagine the kind of courage and strength the ladies there have to muster up every month just to keep on keeping on.
I wish I had some words of advice for you, but I don’t. The more I read and learn, the more I realize these feelings are so very normal, yet nobody makes them public. Just know that you aren’t alone. TTC is quite a journey and everyone says the reward is well worth the wait. Hang in there!
Post # 8
Springtimefever: I was just saying this I stopped taking the tests after month 1 because that BFN seriously was the hardest thing to see. With my first it was our first real month of trying that it happened. So the fact that I’m on month 4 serioulsy sucks!!
My SIL has been struggling for almost 1.5 years to get pregnant and I couldn’t even imangine that sort of pain I hope to god we are not going to have to try that long I might just give up!!
Post # 9
Springtimefever: hubby and I just got married 4 weeks ago and are now TTC. We aren’t at a point where we can test yet, but we will be in about 2 weeks and I’m dreading the thought of a BFN. I swore to myself we would relax and have fun and I keep reminding myself that it is normal if it takes a few months, but I can’t help it. I want us to be different too. I want it to happen on the first try too.
I wish I had good advice for you, hopefully knowing you aren’t the only one out there with those same thoughts makes you feel a little better. Good luck!
Post # 10
Is it just me or was this actually really sweet to read?
You’re just human–we all do it, even if we don’t admit it. We’re just optimistic, as a species… It’s why we keep on going on. 🙂
*hugs* You’ll get there! You’re definitely putting in the hours! :p
Post # 11
I could have written your post myself!
I was married in May & after returning from our honeymoon I had all these unusual symptoms which pointed to pregnancy. We were both so hopeful but nooooo AF has now come & gone. I also feel that every month is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions & I just so want things to happen smoothly (like everyone, I’m sure!)
Post # 12
I can understand how upsetting it must be, as although my FH and I are not actively TTC, I took a test the other day to make sure I wasn’t and when it was negative it hurt, even though I didn’t want to be preganant deep down it upset me still, so it must be so so so much worse actively trying and getting that negative 🙁 hang in there bee!
Post # 13
I hated my first one SO MUCH that I’ve decided not to test again until I miss a period. My periods are regular so it isn’t a problem, and so far I haven’t taken another test since the first glaring horror that was that BFN. I’m 34 and I’m trying to take a relaxed approach at this point after seeing how stressful that first month was!
The day I can test is the day my period is meant to show. I also don’t keep tests at home. I think I’d be tempted.