Post # 1
Hello busy bees!! I have been reading through a lot of these posts and I find I get a sense of relief reading that other brides are experiencing the same drama as I am! Okay, maybe it’s bad that I say that… By I’m hoping my little vent sesh can inspiryo you to get it off your chest, and maybe give you some relief that you’re not alone out there!!!!
okay, where do I begin? Maybe I should use point notes lol.
- My mom immediately complained that I chose to get married in Vancouver rather than Vancouver Island, although the big city of Vancouver is way easier for everyone but her to commute to, not to mention is has 100x the resources than the little island I grew up on
- She showed no enthusiasm until my sister/maid of honour mentioned something to her
- It later came out she was frustrated at ME for not asking her who SHE wanted to invite to the wedding, although me and my FH are paying for our wedding 100% ourselves, and we are only inviting 75 guests. Amazing!!!
- My Mom doesn’t approve of things she doesn’t like… So in her perfect world I’d have a cascading bouquet, and probably wearing a turtleneck dress.. Sigh!
- Then we’ll move to the fact that my FH and I don’t want any children at our wedding, and the angry mobs started
- I am in the middle of a family feud stemming from August, when two cousins and my aunt all betrayed me. Now it’s this hot topic of whether the aunt will be invited or not.
So this is about 2 months into planning, lol. I’m HOPING the drama is behind me!
im trying to just let everything roll off my back, because at the end of the day this is MY wedding, and anyone with an opinion can have their own dream wedding, and I’ll so the same.
anyone else need to vent?
PS – all of my actual wedding planning is going AMAZING btw haha!
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
my mom does drive me a little crazy some of the time, but fortunately we agree on 95% of the wedding stuff! And she is paying for half. I pick my battles LOL.
BUT her slightly over-the-top excitement and, how should I say this, take-charge approach to the wedding has my Maid/Matron of Honor and my Fiance on like, watch. It’s like they are just WAITING for her to say something they dont agree with so they can argue. I sort of want to tell them to calm down and I”LL handle it! Last thing I want is a lot of puffed up egos arguing about the wedding! Haha.
Post # 4
@Sunnyday278: I find I’m having that issue a bit with my guest list. It’s super small (75) and my Fiance and I do agree on most. But there are a few people on the bubble that we do not see eye to eye on.
And then of course there’s the “must have invites” from my Mom, who isn’t pitching in a dime.
Sighhhhhh.. I apologized to my Fiance for not listening and taking his offer to elope lol.
But at the end of the day, we’ll have an aamzing wedding and all this minor stress will be worth it in the end, I hope lol.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
@chipper bride: thats what i keep telling myself! So far I haven’t had any MAJOR stressors, except I’m a little worried sometimes about Fiance. He’s a bit uncomfortable in more “formal” social situations, but he does want this wedding… its’ just every now and then he makes me worried about his potential behavior! Like “If the photographer gets in my face, they are fired on the spot. I hate that.” ummmmmm it’s sort of their job… or “I’m sitting around the bonfire and our guests can come to ME.” welllll you are sort of hosting….
Post # 6
So far, everything has been ok, except for with one friend. She has been a very close friend for YEARS, and I actually considered asking her to be a bridesmaid, but something about her made me hesitate, so I decided to keep my bridal party smaller. As soon as I was engaged, she insisted that she be the one to take the pictures for our wedding (she’s done weddings professionally). I asked her how much she’d charge me and she gave me her regualr price for her “starter” package, and it was $500 over my budget. I told her what my budget was in the chance that she would go down (I make cakes and have given her deals in the past, so I figured I’d at least get a discount), and she refused to budge on her prices. I told her I couldn’t hire her and that I could find someone cheaper (she started out doing weddings for FREE to start her portfolio, so I mentioned that I could find someone like that. I don’t want a lot of pictures and I know Fiance doesn’t like to take them. I happen to have an amazing uncle who is an award winning photographer who offered to do the wedding for WAY under my budget, which I was very excited about because I love his style and creativity. My friend went behind my back and accused him of undercutting everyone else and hurting the “photography business” in town. He responded with “she’s FAMILY.” My friend then sent me a message asking if I was hiring him, and I told her yes, and she said she was ok with it, but to tell him not to be offended if she cuts in his way to get the perfect shot. I decided to have the ceremony unplugged, hoping that this is the only drama I have to deal with.
Post # 7
@Sunnyday278: Oh no!!! Hahahaha.. all you can do is laugh I suppose. Maybe have an insider be by his side, ensuring cocktails are free flowing. Maybe that will ease his nerves.
@HeavyMetalMomma: People tend to forget the wedding day is about the BRIDE and GROOM, and not them. It’s a shame. I find it extra frustrating because I never forget that. no matter what happens, you keep your cool because it’s not your day. Ah well!!!!!
Post # 8
Our 150 max guestlist has grown to over 200+ & still growing! Our parents keep adding people. They are helping us pay for everything but we both never really wanted a big wedding. Now we are kinda just trying not to let it upset us. I’m going back & forth if I want certain friends there for sure just because I’ve known them for years & they came to my engagement party…
Im also stressed over finding an affordable BUT GOOD photographer in Maryland/DC/Virginia area…and my flowers situation stresses me out too. I want roses & baby’s breath so i can have that classic & elegant theme. All of our quotes are 4k+ ….I got a quote for ONLY babys breath for almost 2K! WTF?!?! Now I’m contemplating making my 9 bouquets, 3 corsages, 11 boutounierres & 25-30 centerpieces with the help of my bridesmaids & a few friends…. #Sigh
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Ok this isn’t so much wedding related as it is family related – my aunt is being an ATROCIOUS SELFISH AWFUL HUMAN BEING >:[ She’s HORRIBLE.
Her tirades about “crimes” committed “against” her make me NAUSEATED. Seriously, grow the F*CK up you’re a damn adult. No one, NO ONE, made you make the choices you did. And all this “psychological and emotional abuse” is bullcrap. It’s made up in your head because you did NOT go through that, and how dare you say you did when there are people out there who really do? Your mother didn’t “neglect” you, you were a spoiled brat who wanted more than her parents could afford! (And their life was by NO means hard. THey were not poor.) Her head is so far up her *ss and she can’t even look outside of her selfishness for one SECOND to even see how she’s hurting everyone around her over imagined and made up “slights.” I’m so freaking over it. She hasn’t been invited to the wedding based on her treating my mother (her only sibling) and their mom like crap, but now it’s officially MY choice. I’m so sick of her bullsh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry that got really heavy and debby downer, but we’re dealing with trying to plan Christmas around a narcissistic psychopath.
Post # 10
Guest list was the biggest stresser – from the Future Mother-In-Law mostly. Now it’s finalized and it’s all good.
Everyone seems to have opinions. I love that people care. But, sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Post # 11
@FtrMrsAMH: ugh that sucks. I sometimes wish my parents would help out financially, but if it gave them the right to invite whoever they damn please I would prefer just doing it myself.
why must our parents insist on having a wedding of THEIR dreams??? Didn’t they get that chqnce already?! Or in my case my mom had TWO chances. Errrr.
You just do what you can to make your day YOURS!!
@Sunnyday278: nice rant!! I imagine a big sigh of relief after wrapping that one up. I am having Aunt issues, but for me it is SO out of the blue!! We’ve always been so tight, and then her daughter (my cousin) goes off on my fiancée so I tell her to get f*cked and without asking anyone about what actually happened, she goes after me.
she didn’t apologize for days, and that was only because she talked to my mom, who was pissed. And now my Aunt is msg me public ally on FB saying she can’t wait for our wedding. Assuming she is on the guest list.
And somehow I feel guilty for not wanting her there. Stand your ground lady! And I’m sorry you had to spend your holidays with her lol. I’away province away from my whole family so it makes it easier day-to-dayl ol
@infinity092813: tell me about it. We are having a wedding of 75. It’s near impossible, especially when you have to pick favorites in your own family. But the way I see it, regardless if I invite everyone or no one, someone will have something to say about it, so I might as well just do exactly as I please and let the chips fall where they may lol.