(Closed) Anyone else not have a lot of girlfriends?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m (kinda sorta!) with you.  I  would say I have always had more acquaintances than friends, and since moving to Florida, the majority of my friends have been guys (ones that like guys, mind you) because of the transient nature of my job…no one stays here too long!  And, ironically enough, I have a tendency to get rather annoyed of the drama that happens in girl friendships a lot – though I have not had that problem at all here on WB, which is probably one of the reasons I love it so much!

My BFF is a (girl)friend I’ve had since 4th grade and she will be a bridesmaid in my wedding, but she lives all the way in texas.  So, yes, my rambling aside, I am with you!!

Post # 4
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

๐Ÿ™ i am so very sorry – but I’m right there with ya…

I have my best friend – who’s my Maid/Matron of Honor – and a few friends from work (1 who I hang out with once in a while outside of work, but only with her fiance and mine – never just she and me)…but the work “friends” I honestly don’t hang out with outside of work.

so yeah – I feel ya. in fact – one of my bridesmaids dropped out and now I have NO idea who to ask to replace her spot…I had three total (MOH, one of MOH’s husband’s friends who we hang out with once in a while, but she lives 2 hours away, and a friend from a previous department here at work…) the one from the previous dept dropped out so now I’ve got my Maid/Matron of Honor and my other friend – who again lives 2 hours away and I RARELY see (but trust and know she’ll be there for me). ๐Ÿ™‚

But yeaaaah. It’s very hard – specially on those times when my Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t wanna hang out or is busy – I’ve got NO one else.

It’s funny – I look at other brides who have like 5 or more CLOSE bridesmaids (usually including a sister) and I’ll never have that. ๐Ÿ™

I have no sisters at all and no female cousins (at least none who live around here – plus they’re all much older than me and are married/have teenagers…)

my Maid/Matron of Honor for example, she had 5 bridesmaids PLUS a junior bridesmaid PLUS a flower girl. I’ll be lucky to have 3 (if i can find another) and there’s no flower girls we know so we’re nixing that (although may have 2 ring bearers).

but also, at her bachelorette party she had EASILY 20 of us there. I don’t even KNOW 20 women I’d WANT to have there! lol

so yeah – I’m in your boat. like I said, I’ve got pretty much ONE close girlfriend and that’s about it.

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely – believe me, I KNOW the feeling…I really wish I had some advice on how to find more friends (yeah that sounds weird, but shoot, I’D love to find some! hehe)

anywhoo – hope things get better for ya!

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is there anything you enjoy doing by yourself? I have a good handful of friends in my city, AND I live alone, but that doesn’t mean I see them all the time. Hardly ever during the week. Every couple of weeks actually, so I can see what you mean.

You have to find something to keep yourself sustained so you don’t rely on your Fiance to entertain you/keep you company. Do your nails! Watch a chick flick! Make a nice dinner to reheat up on Wednesday/his Saturday. Look at it like “you” time! It’s good for you. You’re only talking about one night a week, anyways–next thing you know, you might actually look forward to your night of the week! Mulling over your lonliness doesn’t help (trust me–i went through a 15 month deployment AND i see my Darling Husband maybe one weekend every 4-6 weeks) but being proactive makes ALL the difference. Seriously!

Post # 7
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have this problem too! Friends I had when I was younger “moved on” or went to college so I don’t see them, & one friend I was really close to we now don’t get along (long story). So I now see my Fiance (which I’m fine with) or am by myself doing hw or wedding plans on my own-I’m personally fine with it-just wish I had more girls to hang out with- all my Bridal Party is either busy a lot or live too far away. I guess it’s just got to work for you!

Post # 8
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’m with you on this! i just moved to a new city a few months a go, and haven’t met anyone new. one of my good friends from home is here, so i see her when i can, and i have my sister but she’s back in my hometown!

i’ve mostly had guy friends, which is a side effect of an engineering degree i think… haha. i wish i had more girlfriends to go out with, i’m working on it, i’ll let you know if i figure out a good way to meet people ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

Oh my – I feel ya on this! I don’t have a ton of female friends – and the ones I do live an hour away in the same town loverboy lives! It’s awful! I had to move back to my hometown due to a crappy situation last year and I have NO FRIENDS HERE. Usually Wednesdays and Thursdays are my bad days … but since loverboy was in a car accident Friday (leaving both of us without a vehicle – another reason I get bored in the evenings … I’m stuck at home …) I was bored last night and foresee it happening again … I usually make phone calls on Wed and Thur, take the time to workout more, read a book, or explore the internet. Of course, nothing can quite do it for ya when you’d rather just be hanging out with your man!

Post # 10
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

I’m with you too! I don’t have a lot of friends. I’ve lost tough with my closest friends in HS. In college I worked full time and had a bf, so that didn’t leave a lot of time to socialize with a full course load. Grad school I had one great friend from that I had a huge falling out with, and a few other acquaintances, but none who are attending the wedding, much less would be in the wedding. I have two fairly close friends that were my roommates during grad school, but they now both love on opposite coasts (cape cod, MA and portland, OR). I just moved for the second time in two years and changed jobs. I was befriending a coworker at my previous job, but now I’m hours away.

Fiance doesn’t really hang with the guys. He’s very shy, and has spent his life spending all his time working on his family dairy farm, so he didn’t have time to really meet a lot of people and get to be good friends. Thankfully his brother and brother’s fiance are awesome people, because that is who we spend most of out time with.

It’s tough because most people that you don’t see frequently are not very good at keeping up friendships. I usually find that I am the one willing to make the effort to visit and do things. It stinks, but I’ve tried to accept it and thankfully my Fiance and I are the kind of couple who can spend a LOT of time together without fighting. If I need a little space he heads to the video games and I head to our room to watch a movie or read.

Have you looked into getting involved into some kind of club or activity to meet people? Meetup.com, joining a church, or book club? Maybe volunteering somewhere or finding a hobby to do on Tuesday nights?

I’m going to try to join a book club and a church, now that I’m mostly settled into my job and our apartment. It’s tough though…

Post # 11
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

I’ve never had a lot of girl friends either. At this point, aside from work, I have a grand total of ONE close girl friend. I have one other that isn’t as close. And since they have busy lives with jobs and building families, I’m alone a lot too. FI’s home alot but sometimes I just want a night out with pals.

I get bummed a lot, but I read a lot or take my dogs out when I start to get lonely. For the first time ever, I played on the employee kickball league this year. Even though I wasn’t good, I did get along well with the other employees, and it was fun to do something for ME, and not worry about when Fiance was going to come home.

Post # 12
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

I’m in the same boat, ever since we moved to California 5 years ago, I’ve lost touch with most of my girlfriends (who were really more acquaintances/hung out in a big group of friends together). And now I work for a consumer electronics company that is about 80% guys, so I’ve become friends with some of them (but only go out to lunch/happy hour together, not real close friends).

But it’s not the same as having girls you can really talk to and share things with. That’s part of the reason why I love online forums so much, and why I started my wedding blog. I can at least vent/share with pictures and words, and hope maybe someone will read it. At least I’m getting it out there, and it makes me feel a little better.

**Hugs** to all the ladies w/out many girlfriends out there!

Post # 13
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I dont anymore. I had 3 close ones including my sister but since my sister and one girl moved away as well, its has been peaceful and made me reevaluate friendships. They were pure drama, self centered and you could barely have a conservation about your life before they would turn it into something about theirs. My Darling Husband and I actually enjoy not having to always have something to do or somewhere to go. I, personally, love and NEED the pure me time. We work somewhat different shifts, so I am home alot on my own and I love it. I love to read and antique shop and do the house stuff so we dont have to waste time doing it when we do have time togethor. Being married has put things in a different light for me. Yes it is important to have your individuality and frienships but I also actually enjoy more now, going and grabbing a few drinks with my honey and blowing off steam then dealing with the girl drama and judgemental attitudes. The girls I know too have Boyfriend or Best Friend, Fiance etc and still like to go out and try and catch guys or constantly flirt for drinks and such and its just not me and disrespectful.

Post # 14
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

Once upon a time I had a small tight knit group of girlfriends (about 4 of us) who used to hang out ALL the time. Well…they all have kids now, which (for some reason) made them all drop off the face of the earth. I mean they don’t call me to hang out much anymore, not even to just chill in their living room to watch TV. :o( They have this conceived notion that hanging out means partying (which is what we used to do back in the day). Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t like to stay at home too. Kay, vent over. Sad to say, but I get real excited when I meet a potential new (girl)friend. I do have besties, but they live across the continent from me. I do scrapbook with a few girls, but I’ve never hung out with them other than that.

Hubbers doesn’t really have any friends either. Lots of acquaintances, but no real friends. Guess we’re just losers like that. :o)

 

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