(Closed) Anyone else not have their dad around?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Was your dad present at your wedding?
    yes : (9 votes)
    18 %
    no : (42 votes)
    82 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My dad died when I was four so I walked myself down the aisle, my mom and I aren’t that close. I did dance with her for my parent dance, though.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4009 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My dad died last May. I hadn’t spoken to him. since i was 3 hough so he wouldn’t have been involved anyway. My mom is walking me down the aisle. We aren’t doing any parent dances. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3081 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m so sorry. I lost my dad five years ago, and I missed having him at my wedding so much. I poured through ideas…spent hours researching what I wanted to do to honor him. There are a ton of bees on here who didn’t have their dad at their wedding for a variety of reasons, and someone will have the right ideas for you. 

    I ended up walking down the aisle by myself – I didn’t want my mom to, I have no brothers or super close male family members, thought that if I had my sisters do it, my mom would have been offended, and wanted the traditionalism of my husband and I entering separately, and then walking out together. So by myself it was, and it was really hard, but I’m very, very proud of myself for having done it. Having your brother walk with you is a great idea. 

    I just ignored first dance, although my husband danced with his mom. Some bees have danced with their mom instead. 

    The only true way I honored my dad during the wedding was through my locket bracelet, which held photos of me and him…so in a way he was with me throughout the whole wedding. My sisters also mentioned him in their toast. 

    Hugs! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @javamonkey:  I’m sorry to hear about your loss.  I lost my Dad 10 years ago in November.  I’ll be having my Grandpa (his Dad) walk me down the aisle.  It’ll be nice to feel like a piece of him is walking me down the aisle.  I haven’t decided what I’ll be doing about the parent dance.  I might just skip it and only do the Mother/Son dance for my Fiance. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    My dad was alive for my first wedding but didn’t bother to come. My step dad walked me down the ailse. He died before my second wedding so I walked myself down. This time my Fiance & I are going in together.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7455 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    My dad isn’t a part of my life anymore because he cheated on my mom throughout their 30 year marriage and left our family for the woman he cheated with about 2 years ago. I won’t be having a father/daughter dance, and I haven’t decided if I will walk down the aisle with my mom or by myself.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3141 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I lost my dad to Cancer in 2007 and though he was not there physically his presence was noted spiritually. We had First Nations dancers and drummers at our wedding and they sang an honour song to recognize our Ancestors who were not with us today. As my mom has also moved onto the Spirit World. My 17 year old son walked me down the aisle and gave me away. It was so beautiful. For the Daddy / daughter dance we announced that the song “Stealing Cinderella” was in honour of him. I danced with my brother and my Brother in Law for that song. It was a way to include him in my day as it was so important to me and caused me such great heartache that he would be there to share my special day. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I was abused as a kid, so I moved in with my grandparents when I was 10.  My grandfatehr will be walking me down the aisle.

    Post # 11
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

    My dad died when I was 3. My grandfather (maternal) died when I was 9. Paternal grandfather died when I was 13. My uncle who walked me down the aisle for my first wedding died a couple of months ago. And my other uncle I’m not close to. No brothers either…

    So… it’s weird. My Boyfriend or Best Friend for some reason thought I wanted his dad to walk me down the aisle. His dad was just given 3 months to live and we won’t be getting married until next year. So now his oldest brother wants to walk me down. It’s not what I had in mind… but why not? We’re not a traditional couple anyway and his brother can be a hermit, so we’re glad he even wants to come to the wedding, let alone be a part of it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2750 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m sorry about your dad.

    Mine is a deadbeat and was not invited. My brother walked me down the aisle.

    Post # 13
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @mrsbruff2b:  I voted but my dad is still around, he’s just a deadbeat as well and is not invited to the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    So sorry to hear that your Dad will not be at your side on your day.  I was very lucky, at age 54, to have my 81 year old Daddy walk me down the aisle, and could not imagine my day without him.  I did lose my Mom almost 14 years ago, and that was so very sad not only for me, but for my sister and others.  Know that he’s in your heart.

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My dad wasn’t around when I was a kid, and he passed away in 2008. I was briefly in touch with the son that he raised (my stepbrother), and he told me all about my dad and how much he loved me, and how afraid he was to try to be in my life because he didn’t think I wanted him around. We’re actually a lot alike, and especially because I’m not close to my mother, I wish he was here with me. 

    I think I’m going to walk down the aisle alone, although I could ask my grandma, and both Future Father-In-Law and a close male family friend have both told my Fiance that they would be honored to walk me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I lost my dad a few years ago to brain cancer. I still miss the big guy horribly. ANd want him there on my wedding day but know it’ll just be in spirit. So I’m running through a few things and trying to figure out how exactly I want to honor.

    First thought is in my shoes. I was going to do typical bridal shoes and then the idea popped into my head that even though my big brother is walking me down the aisle, i want my dad there too. So I’m looking for the perfect red heel, and either have the bottoms black or use a sharpie to write in black. if the bottoms are black, i’ll use a silver sharpie. But i’m going to either write his name, in memory of, or something to be like yup dad is walking me down the aisle (and the red and black are my hometown colors, and he grew up in that town his entire life, he loved that place).

    next, i’m thinking of a locket of him on my flowers. much simpler than my shoe idea. haha

    then at the reception i want something to honor all those that couldn’t be there. so i’m thinking either pictures of them or something.

    i have various other ideas but right now those are the ones sticking with me. i know whatever i do, my dad will be there. i’ll just miss him horribly.

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