(Closed) Anyone else not having a shower?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Im really sorry that happened and that does really suck.  It is really frustrating when you go out of your way to be thoughtful for others all the time and then when it is your turn the favor is not returned.  You are right to focus on the fact that you found the love of you life and are getting married in a beautiful tropical location- it is going to be awesome!

Is there any chance they are planning a surprise?

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It makes me so sad that you said they would rather you go without than accept help! Frown Sorry this is going on! You have been generous with your help so you should get your own bridal shower and not feel guilty about wanting it!

Post # 6
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry, hun. Since they are your sisters, do you think maybe you could talk to your mom and she could say something to them? You’ve offered all this great help. I think you should let them know how important this is to you and how much you’d like to help them out.

Post # 7
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not having a shower, but I’m ok with it. 

ETA- hit submit before I was done and my first sentence wasn’t really very supportive.  Anyway, I was going to say that you can skip the shower (since it is a gift-giving event, and it doesn’t sound like your Bridal Party is in a gift-giving position) and maybe have them pool resources and get help from your mom and have a nice bach party.  Start with a Bridal Party luncheon then head out for your bach party.

Post # 8
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

No one is having a bridal shower for us either. It makes me so sad because like you- I always go out of my way to try and make things super special for everyone else. Now it’s my turn and NOTHING… We also decided to throw our own bachelor/bachelorette party because if we don’t we won’t even get to have one. =( Were so broke now it’s not even funny and were throwing this party that I just know everyone will want to come to but not help plan (even though I AM SUPER BUSY) and no one will want to offer a dime towards. Wedding planning has made me feel I have no real friends. 

Post # 9
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@VegasSukie:  I posted something similar 2 weeks ago.

I’m throwing my own craft/cupcakes/champagne night this Saturday for girlfriends to come over. It’s not a shower, but I realized that was I was bummed about missing out on was the bonding and excitement.  

So by throwing my own craft night, it’ll be fun, and to boot, they’ll help me knock out a huge DIY project by the end of the night!  And I get to share in the wedding excitement with friends.

Given that there’s so much out there in the media, blogs and the giant wedding industrial complex about showers, bachelorettes and other wedding traditions, it’s hard to not be disappointed when we miss out on some of them.  

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Another thought — what about friends throwing you a shower?  Can you tell them that you’re bummed your sisters aren’t throwing one, and express that you’d love it if you could have a fun, inexpensive day with the girls before getting married?

My sister’s kinda slacking on Bridesmaid or Best Man duties, and it’s disappointing.  What I had always dismissed before as just being due to her age and being in school is actually just her personality – she’s not particularly good at keeping in touch, calling me, etc.   Oh well. I’m just relying on other people instead. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know exactly what this feels like, to give all your support into friendships and then in return NOTHING, and I just have to let you know that I know it sucks. I started my bee account the other day JUST FOR the support and the input that I just have not been getting anywhere else. That being said, my Fiance and I have lost almost ALL of our friends to marriages, children, or distances at a very young age, and since he’s my best friend we decided that we would do it ourselves together and just have fun with it.

Post # 12
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not having any showers, at least I hope not, lol.  But my case is different because I’m older and this isn’t my first wedding.  Fiance and I combined our households so we really don’t need or want any gifts, besides maybe something small and personal.  But, in your case, you absolutely deserve a shower!  In my mind, it is your bridal party’s (bridesmaids and MOH) responsibility to throw you a shower, and also your friends’ and family.  What is wrong with these people?  You seem like a sweet and generous person who looks out for others.  Maybe this is the time you should speak out and say that you EXPECT a shower.  Sometimes being too nice doesn’t pay off.  And they will all feel really good for doing something so nice for you.  Also, don’t offer to help, it’s their responsibility to do this for you, you are the bride, for heaven’s sake.  The princess, the star of the show.  Remind them of that.

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

That sucks, and honestly I think it’s even worse that it’s your sisters not doing it, when they don’t even have to pay for food.  Are either of them married or are they young? In my first Wedding for my friend who graduated right after college, I was a very green moh, and sometimes more stressed about finals and graduation.

She never said anything to me, and if her mom hadn’t called me I would have only did the bachlorette party. Her Mom hosted at her house, and I was working at target for seven dollars an hour, and I manage to provide all of the decorations, invitations, and some of the food for a little over 100 dollars for about 20 guest(her mom did provide the drinks, and the main dishes). So maybe have an older family member perhaps an aunt or grandma who has done this before step in and co host with your sisters. Or perhaps another friend who is more mature.  They are plenty of ways for them to host a simple shower without breaking the bank.

ps: I absolutely don’t think you should CHIP IN at all, take that out of your mind!

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