(Closed) Anyone else not having a traditional wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
6213 posts
Bee Keeper

Kind of sounds like you should just go to a courthouse and get married on your own.  Or find someone to officiate while you are getting your tattoos done, again, on your own.

If you do want the fun of a reception or even a ceremony where you do have guests, it doesn’t have to be over the top.  For mine, we had a bbq before the ceremony, then everyone piled into UTVs and drove to the ceremony site.  We got married in about 15 minutes, maybe less and headed out again after some photos (while guests were being driven back to the reception venue).  We only had 34 guests, no DJ – music off my computer, most of the flowers came from the grocery store and were set up my me and the two moms.  The venue was pretty enough to not need any further help and I can’t stand the waste of money at many weddings either (as you say, sorry if I offend).  Also I wore a swing dress instead of a ‘wedding gown’ so spent under $150, including crinoline and shoes.  So comfy comparatively. (BTW, I wouldn’t call mine unconventional, per se, but it was a much more relaxed form of a typical wedding… you don’t have to follow all the rules that make weddings OTT these days).

Our courthouse ‘ceremony’ came a couple of days before – we didn’t invite anyone, we just did it for paperwork so we could have my Father-In-Law officiate our ‘real’ ceremony.  That guy was a very  nice nut, so it was pretty entertaining.  When he left, he gave us a book he’d written of recipes he makes for events in the area (think ‘dumps from a can’), interspersed with very bad poetry he’d written, including some stuff that was obviously written when he got divorced. 

Post # 4
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was also nervous about being the center of attention, but my SO wouldn’t go as far as eloping at the courthouse, so we compromised:

  • ceremony was short (8 minutes) with his sister officiating
  • there was no aisle to walk down, we just stood up from our seats to get married
  • we had the ceremony and meal (brunch) in the same room, everyone seated at their tables (cabaret seating)
  • no bridesmaids/groomsmen
  • no dancing/activities after the meal, we just milled around and talked
  • it was all done in ~3 hours (not counting photos/getting ready time)
Post # 5
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Omni Bedford Springs Resort

We are doing a handfasting on a Friday evening in July at a state park.  It’s going to take 15-20 minutes.  We didn’t want bothered with the usual bells and whistles either.

Post # 6
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

We’re having a cocktail gathering with our family for everyone to meet beforehand. We will then move to the dining room where my Future Brother-In-Law will do something quick and fast and then dinner. No dancing, nice music. Easy.

 

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

View original reply
alllllz :  depending on the legal perks of legal marriage where you live you might like a “traditional” celtic wedding/love ceremony before christianity took hold pagens would do basically a wedding with no legal meaning their vows are very equality based and you could do it anytime anywhere. Common law & married have nearly identical legal rights here so my partner and i are considering it because we dont like governement involvement and charges related to marriage

Post # 8
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

We just got married at Mount Everest Base Camp on Wednesday! It was just the two of us, our photographer, the guide company crew and it was absolutely perfect!

Post # 9
Member
6213 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
alllllz :  Allow me to share a recipe (I guess I won’t share a poem b/c it’s plagiarizing if I don’t add his name and I just can’t do that)

Moab Chowder: Cook a pound of elbow macaroni in garlic-salted water and drain.

Add undrained:  1 can chopped chilis, 1 can diced tomatoes, 1 can chicken broth, 1 can chopped clams, pat of butter, drizzle of olive oil and a shake of coarse black pepper.

Stir together, warm “a bit ’til it’s just right” and serve with grated hard cheese and friends.

It says he came up with this one by putting together things he had on hand when he was a newly single bachelor.  Surprisingly, we haven’t brought ourselves to try one of the recipes yet.

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

We were kind of like that so we’re doing a hybrid.  We got married at the courthouse with just immediate family and it was very sweet and romantic, but we still want to have a party so we’re inviting our inner circle out to a farm for a fancied up pig pickin’.  We’re going to say our own vows really quick (said the legal ones at the courthouse) & then we’re having dinner and dancing and just a party!! Nothing else traditional like father/daughter dance, throwing the bouquet, etc.  

Post # 11
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
alllllz :  funny u mention this. I hateee being COA, dread it and im not even sure why!!!! We went from a wedding of 120 to 60. No bridemaids, no Maid/Matron of Honor , no Best Man. Ten min ceremony is what we are planning and thats it. I feel like that un traditional. But its our day andnim begigining not to care what others think. 

 

My suggestion to you is what we were thinking, get a permit and get married at ur local arboretum. Super duper intimate, only pay for permit (normally $100) and you get gorgeous pictures and a nice backsrop to say I do. 

Post # 12
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
alllllz :  We are doing an untraditional ceremony too! 17 person guest list in a family friend’s backyard. No bridal party either. Short cake and punch reception. Just very intimate and simple.

Post # 13
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee

We got legally married in the country where we both work which involved a trip to an office building and signing paperwork. No rings, no vows (and a good thing too, my Chinese isn’t great and my husband is nearly incomprehensible when he attempts it). 

We are doing professional photography and then a nice dinner at a restaurant in Asheville, NC for about 20 guests this summer. My husband will have his friends back to the family vacation house after dinner for a more relaxed (and rowdy) party. I will go to a hotel for the evening.

I have massive social anxiety and also don’t love talking about my feelings so I’ve carefully orchestrated events so that there is no ceremony.

Post # 14
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We got married on a family vacation to vegas (we were all already going for my 30th mams 60th and auntie’s 50th) we went to a chapel and got the cheapest package, only my parents, brother and my bff , no add ons. My dad did us some photos outside of the venitian (something to show the grandkids) then we rented a private room at the harrah’s buffet and rode the high roller with the whole fam. Will never regret not doing a traditional wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Eldorado Canyon State Park

We haven’t done it yet, but our plan is to travel out to Colorado so we can self-solemnize.  It’s just going to be the two of us (no officiants or witnesses required), so basically we’ll pick up the paperwork, go somewhere pretty and private and share our vows with each other, and then fill out the marriage certificate as our own officiants.  Voila!  We’re both fairly personal people, so this way we don’t turn it into this big public song and dance that makes us uncomfortable on our own day, and hopefully we can bare our souls a bit more in our vows.  Plus, aside from travel costs, hecka cheap, which means more $$ for our honeymoon!  

The topic ‘Anyone else not having a traditional wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors