(Closed) Anyone else NOT having kids??

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m totally with you! I also love my nephews to pieces….but kids just aren’t for us. Seems like everyone we know who has kids, their lives ARE their kids. I’m not prepared to give up my freedom and raise kids. There is sooo much I want out of life that I know won’t be possible with children in the picture.

Post # 4
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We aren’t married quite yet, but I am definitely not wanting to have kids any time soon – if at all to be completely honest. Maybe someday, but not in the next year or so. There’s too much we want to do!! I turn 30 twenty-four days after our wedding, so the surprised looks we get from people are never in short supply Wink I also work with children alllll day, so sometimes it’s really nice to come home to adult world! It’s all about personal choice, so good luck with your adventures (and keeping everyone else’s nose out of your uterus/life lol)!

 

P.S. I work with children with disabilities and see plenty of young moms in there, so it’s not always about age! Stuff just happens!

Post # 7
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I always thought I wanted kids until we got a puppy and then I started to change my mind and then once Bethany Getting Married was on that deff confirmed it- If we ever have kids it will be in 10+ years. My parents were married 10 years before they had my older brother and most of my moms side had kids after 30 so im not worried and there is always adoption.

Having a kid is just so much work and responsibility that im not sure I want. Just with the dog its a pain to figure out babysitters when we go away or out.

Post # 8
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We won’t be trying until around 30 either.

When I get the “so… kids???” questions, my standard response is to laugh at them and be like, “Not for a long time. Gees, we want to enjoy our marriage before tying ourselves down with kids!”

Post # 9
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

Boyfriend or Best Friend and I probably won’t have kids. We don’t want to tie ourselves down with children as there is just so many other things we wanna do with our lives.

Post # 10
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m 29, hubs is 26…..he wants them sooner, I’d rather wait at least 4 years (after I finish my residency)…..I’m not overly excited about babies in general and I’m nervous about giving birth and what that will do to my body (that sounds selfish, huh?).  I’m also nervous about how we will find time and help to care for children since we both work crazy hours and our families are far from where we currently live.  At the same time, I worry about waiting too long and being too old to have them.  People ask all the time and we say maybe in 2 years, which makes me uneasy.

Post # 11
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

The younger you are, the less likely the itch is. Some folks know that they *NEVER* want to have kids. Others, it’s just about age, time, school, profession etc. Most of my friends are starting to get married and pregnant at 31-34. At that age, they don’t miind having kids. I never wanted kids until my 30’s so I’m cool.

Post # 12
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didn’t wantkids until I was well into my 30’s. I always wanted to be “free” to do what I wanted, and thought kids would spoil that. Anyway, when I got into my 30s, my Fiance and I tried, and even went all the way through numerous fertility treatments including 3 IVFs. Come to find out, I had numerous issues that were causing the problem and by the time we got to the end of things at around 38 or 39, my eggs were too old. It is NEVER pleasant to hear you are too old for anything. It was especially a slap when I saw all of the celebs having kids much older, but I learned through the treatments that everyone is completely different and for some women, early 30s is too late, and for others, mid 40’s is fine, although with much more risk involved. Anyway, I guess my feeling is that although you might not want kids now, you might later, and that you should be prepared for what happened to me. The fertility clinic doesn’t stay in business because I was the only one there.

We got a puppy instead ๐Ÿ™‚

 I cannot think of anything ruder than asking a couple what they are doing about having children, especially when they don’t even know if the couple is able or not, and how painful it is if they are trying and having problems, to have someone ask. If anyone were to ask me about having kids, I think I would say “why do you want to know?” And maybe they would be the hint that it is not their business.

Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

And do not let anyone tell you not to worry about your age, and that 30s is fine, or “look at all the celebs having them in their 40s”. I have a friend who got pregnant on the secnd try at 38, and I have friends that had problems like mine in their early 30s. I was very fortunate in one sense that my treatements were covered in the state of MA, but if I had insurance in New Husband, they wouldn’t have been. Each IVF I had was at least $20,000. Celebvs have tons of cash, and who knows if they may even be using borrowed eggs, which is another $30,000 (just to try).

Again, everyone s different but don’t go by what your neighbor or the famous have had, and assume it will be the same for you because it might not be.

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re still on the fence about kids. There are times whenever I want them but whenever I sit down and think about it I know that it isn’t right for us. Not right now atleast. We might change our minds in the future but we have too many things to accomplish and experience before letting a child into our lives.

Post # 15
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

@MrsSl8:  My fiance and I have pretty much decided that we don’t want children.  If I had to percentage it, I would say we are 90% sure that children are not in our future.  We both have incredibly demanding careers, and are really happy with our relationship status and how we are able to deal with our stress levels, and we are incredibly happy spending what free time we do have with each other and our two kitties.  We are genuinely happy, and don’t want that to change.  We get a TON of flack, judgment, etc., but it our life, and our decision. 

However, we have discussed the possibility of an unanticipated pregnancy (and how we would be cool with that), and the possibility that one (or both) of us may change our mind(s).  We are both in our early thirties, and due to my family history, I don’t have any indications of what my genetic limitations may be in terms of being able to get pregnant.  In that regard, we have also discussed adoption.  Actually, we have also discussed adopting a child in lieu of trying to have one of our own.

My brother has two children, a boy and a girl, and my fiance’s brother has two children, both girls.  I don’t feel any pressure from my family, but my fiance’s family is in dire need of a male child to carry on their name/ family line (every grandchild is a girl!).  I know there will be some pressure, and I think (hope!), I am pas repared as I can be for that.  At the very least, we are a *united front* on the child issue, and we will deal with it together. 

Post # 16
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re never having kids. Plenty of people feel the need to ask us when they’re coming. We usually ask them why they want to know, like menobride. When it’s someone who keeps pushing it, we like to tell them that we dislike children. Then they are quiet and leave us alone. They probably think we’re evil and don’t want to talk to us anymore. ๐Ÿ™‚  It’s okay to not want kids.

The topic ‘Anyone else NOT having kids??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors