(Closed) Anyone else not into the whole baby thing?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 48
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@Miss Tattoo:  I think it was more her attitude that she expected the cashier and the OP to pay for her extra groceries.  Honestly, I don’t understand certain parents on assistance who pay for junkfood, cigarettes, alcohol, etc. and then also take taxpayer money.  I understand in this economy, people need help and I’m right there pushing for longer maternity leave, more benefits, extending unemployment, etc b/c I believe people are genuinely trying to better their situation.  This woman had three kids, not one.  I know it’s unfair to assume this, she could have lost her husband in the military or whatever, but I automatically and unfairly assume she had these children with gov’t entitlement programs.  I’m not trying to knock these programs, my dad was a single parent and used them when he was in school and was incredible embarrassed to use them to pay for food/gasoline.  Since then, he’s paid back what he took and I believe people should do that.  My dad said he made poor decisions that lead to him needing those benefits but he never expected a person at the checkout or a cashier to pay for his groceries.  I’ve also gone through college classes with single mothers who sporadically attend classes, get paid TO GO TO COLLEGE (yes, in my state they give a weekly stipend AND pay for the college), and then doesn’t graduate.  They have no guidelines, no GPA requirements, and a certain single mother I knew didn’t want to marry her boyfriend b/c she’d lose the child support from him and the state money that she lived off of.  Yeah, I’m going to be extremely disappointed in that.  If she gave me an attitude and a nasty reaction to not having enough money, then I’ll want to vent on here also.

Post # 50
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@beekiss2: I don’t know where you go to school, but the Federal government usually requires a 2.0 for Federal assistance and I was never paid to attend college in Indiana. That would’ve been nice though. 😉

Post # 52
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@reinab505:  It’s fairly recent state program.  The individual I was talking about was new to the program and she said she gets a weekly stipend, government housing, food stamps, all of her college paid for, and I asked about GPA requirement and she said she didn’t have one.  She could have been wrong.  They also don’t cap how long you should be in the program.  I think it’s a good program if the individual is required to graduate from the program or else pay back what they received.

I know federal money, like loans and pell grants require GPA and cap the length you can receive the money.

Post # 53
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m 6 months pregnant, and am very excited about having my baby.  And I fully support your decision to wait.  It’s a great idea for you to get your finances in order before having kids.  I would also suggest that you try to travel as much as possible, since it will be much more complicated and expensive once you have kids.  Best of luck to you!


Also, to the poster who described the woman in the supermarket – I paid for groceries for a woman who was standing in line in Walmart trying to by $15 in necessities for her children in coins (mostly pennies and dimes).  The welfare woman probably thought someone would feel sorry for her kids and help her out.  It probably would have happened if she were buying reasonable foods.  But I would be really annoyed if someone were trying to purchase garbage, just as I get annoyed when people use food stamps at D’agastino’s (a NYC supermarket that is like Whole Foods, only more expensive) when there is a much more affordable supermarket two blocks away, where they could purchase twice as much food for their children.  





Post # 54
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@UpstateCait: I didn’t post for props or anything, but thank you anyway. I just wanted to point out that we, young mothers, aren’t all like the girl in your other post. That, and, I respect the choice to wait and, even though I have a wonderful daughter, I feel the same way as some of you about kids.

I, also, wanted to add: I don’t like looking at pictures of someone else’s kid. It’s like oh, umm that’s nice, hope he grows into that nose. I won’t show pics unless asked because I don’t like forced compliments. I know she’s great and beautiful so I don’t need you to tell me or to approve.

I HATE pregnancy talk! I don’t want to hear about your vadge or scars or whatever. I forced myself to go to a baby shower for an old friend and that is all some of the girls talked about, while we were trying to eat. I left early and I had arrived a half hour late. I don’t care who you are, keep it between you and your dr.

@beekiss2: I haven’t kept up on all of the changes, but I agree it would be nice if they have to graduate or pay the money back. I only remember the federal from helping my sister when she started beauty school.

Post # 55
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with you 100%. We’re on the fence about having kids and frankly, won’t even re-open the discussion until we’re at least 30. It’s just not us, although I suppose those parenting instincts may kick in at some point. 

I will say, though, that I see no problem with having a kid in a condo. How is that more annoying than the dog that lives above us and never shuts up? Even when he’s not barking, he’s pacing or running around. I guess I take urban life to mean that there are going to be noise distractions. The average home price in our area is over $600,000. If we waited until we could afford that to have kids, we may never have them!

Post # 56
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Does this thread remind anyone else of the intro to the movie Idiocracy? lol.

I’m not really into the whole baby thing either. Not only do they freak me out (as in, I think i’m going to break them) but I think they are obnoxious. I hate the squalling, pooping, drooling, vomiting, etc that goes along with it. I cannot stand people that allow their children to scream and scream and scream. The sound of a screaming child makes me want to jump off a cliff, seriously. I am young and selfish and would love to enjoy my youth before I have a family, if I ever do. I am a fan of the idea of adopting older children later on, like 5-6 at the youngest. I have never seen the point in procreating when there are so many parentless kids out there already. While I do not like babies, I LOVE children.

As for the public assistance thing, I am in full support of the government limiting the items that can be purchased to healthy necessities. No junk food, no cake, no soda, no effing lobster (yeah, I’ve seen it. Paying for freaking lobster with food stamps). Cheese, milk, bread, meat, fruits and veggies, peanut butter, etc. I also think that the government should limit how many kids they will cover with welfare and how long you can take advantage of the system. There are families that spend generations on welfare and keep popping out babies to get a bigger check. It’s BS.

Post # 57
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OMG! I understand! I am soon too be 27, and in no RUSH at all to have KIDDOS! I don’t have baby fever at all!! I really enjoy my life the way it is right now, yes that sounds selfish, but I get to spend money on things that I probably won’t be able to when I have kids. I am a FASHION and SHOE addict! I love my 2 door car and I love the VACATIONS that we take together as a couple. We are seeing the world while we can. We plan to have kids down the road, and when we do we know we wont look back and say I wish I would have done this before, and we will be well prepared! There is no set age to have kids, when you are ready go for it, but until then live it up!

Post # 58
5822 posts
Bee Keeper


I felt like that once.  Didn’t want kids.  Wanted dogs.  “Oh no kids for us” I’d say.

Freakin’ Mother Nature.  Hit me with the Baby Rabies HARD.  It was like a lightswitch.  One day I’m not interested at all and the next day I’m picking out names.

Post # 59
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

lol @ baby rabies!!

Post # 61
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I know it is usually the other way around but when I was younger I had all the patience in the world with kids and would spend at least 3 days a week (if not more) babysitting for my sister. I couldn’t wait to have kids! I loved babies!

I had the “baby bug” in my teens, it hit hard but it has never came back…if I would have gotten pregnant at 18 I would have been super excited and over the moon. I really think I would have had the patience, responsibility, and would have been fine too.  My boyfriend told me I was crazy and said absolutely no to kids, that he wanted nothing to do with kids till much later in life.

I am now 28 and while my fiancé (same boyfriend from high school) is now open to the idea of having kids, I am the one that is completely unsure about it.

We will be married in December and there is really nothing holding us back. We are not too young, we have jobs, we are responsible, etc.

Kids, however seem to annoy the heck out of me now and not sure how to deal with it. = /

I love birthing videos, the entire pregnancy miracle, reading about it, talking about, seeing pictures, I saw my nephew being born and thought it was amazing! I just don’t want to deal with the actual baby/toddler.

My other sister now has two boys, 4 and 5 years old.  And while I love them to pieces and will babysit with no problems I really want to return them after 1 day. I find that I have way less patience with kids now then I did in my teens…

And I see how she struggles with them at times, the stress that they can cause her, and the occasional “OMG I need a break, just come pick them up NOW” calls and it just makes me think…do I really want that for me??

I feel a little “selfish” or “un-natural” thinking about not having kids and having these thoughts, but I am just scared that with the feelings I have, it might not be a good idea to have kids… EVER.

I am no longer sure that I have the patience or emotionally I can do it without going insane. LOL


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