(Closed) Anyone else NOT itching to have children?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: How badly do you want children?
    I'm DYING to have a child soon! : (29 votes)
    19 %
    I love children and intend to have them in the future : (54 votes)
    36 %
    I'm undecided : (27 votes)
    18 %
    I don't want kids : (28 votes)
    19 %
    other (please explain) : (11 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I’m undecided. I have no inclination for children now, but I understand that those feelings may change in several years.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I have several friends that do not want children or are undecided (all late 20s).  Just don’t let people harrass you about it!  I can’t believe what some people say to my friends.

    Post # 5
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I voted other because I’m not dying to have kids but I don’t not want kids either; it’s more ‘If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”  We are interested in adopting so if I can’t have kids naturally, we will find another route if we want.  We’ve decided if we can’t conceive naturally (no pricking of needles everyday, etc.) we will be okay.  BUT I may get older and have major baby fever and be willing to go through whatever procedures I need in order to conceive.  Time will tell.

    I do enjoy the heck out of the baby board and reading all day about various baby things though. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    4311 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Shirinjoon: I will be 29 in May and have ZERO itch.  I was married in December, and I know we both would like to have one child someday, but I do not have the OMFG LET’S HAVE A BABY IMMED burn lol.

    Post # 7
    Member
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I am 100% no way, no how having kids.  It’s not that I hate kids (I’m a secondary teacher), but frankly, I have no desire whatsoever to take care of a child 24/7 for at least 18 years.  I’ve been called selfish and that’s okay (well it’s not okay, but I understand that some may feel that way).  I have been saying since I was a small child that I didn’t want children, and now that I’m 28 I feel even more pulled in that direction.  I honestly think pregnancy is disgusting as is birth…call it a miracle all you want…the only word that comes to my mind is icky.  I know  that people say, oh you’ll feel differently if it’s your own kids…sorry, I’ve had plenty of loving moms tell me, no, it really isn’t – screaming is just as irritating, poop smells just as gross…I don’t even like to be DROOLED on it grosses me out so much.  I also have unrealistic expectations of children – I would expect any child of mine to act like a mini-adult and I know this is no feasible.  They are just not in my life plan.

    That being said, I also cannot have them.  Neither can the Fiance.  I had a hysterectomy at 27 and Fiance had a vasectomy the morning I found out about my surgery (I found out in the afternoon) – thank goodness he wasn’t upset haha.  My mom once told me I should have kids so I don’t die alone…which I think is a horrible reason to have a child, as is using having a child as a bandaid for whatever is going wrong in your relationship or to have something to love or to love you to fill some void you have from your own upbringing. 

    I am happy that other women undertake it though…because I guess if everyone felt as I do, we’d be extinct pretty fast lol.

    Post # 8
    Member
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    @brianlaura – I understand that.  I had some women in my line try to convince me that I needed to have child (after the obvious look of irritation over the screaming child next to me – sorry, I know it can’t be helped, but when you already have a headache…) because “everyone should experience having a child.”  All I wanted to say was EWE…when I said, I can’t have children, she told me “don’t worry, you’ll change your mind.”  I wanted to scream, lady, the housing for the fetus isn’t there.

    Post # 9
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m 33 and don’t have the itch.  I believe I will want to have kids someday but it feels so far away. I hope that if and when I do get the itch it’s not too late for me. I guess we would still have the option to adopt if that is the case. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m not itching to have children right now. Part of it is that I’m still young and we have only been married 6 months. Another part of it is that I see my SIL with her newborn and she has no life! Her entire life is feeding, changing, burping, sleeping. it sucks!

    Post # 11
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I want to have kids someday … and I think I’d be okay with grade schoolers now even. But the thought of dealing with a baby/toddler………………ugh. Definitely not ready.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @karatechick27: Yeah, I don’t get it.  We have friends that keep saying “you’ll change your mind” to them.  My thing is. . .so what if they do?  Or don’t?  Who cares, it’s their life and bodies.  Blech.  I want to have children and am excited to have them, but I would never expect someone else to want exactly the same things as me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    I’m 32. Probably since I hit thirty my clock started nudging me and now it’s like I NEED KIDS IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS!!! I never wanted kids all through my twenties. It’s weird.

    Post # 14
    Member
    586 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We kind of want kids…eventually…probably, but the thought of having them now is horrifying! Meh. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

    Post # 15
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    We’ll have one or two eventually. I’m hoping not before my Future Sister-In-Law does though….I’d like to not be the first. I think it’d be easier to constantly be compared vs. the absolutle onslaught of advice that’s sure to come.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4419 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Darling Husband and I love children, and if we had met when we were younger, we would have loved having several children. However, since we’re in our mid to late 40s, we feel we’re too old to have them. We simply don’t have the patience or the stamina needed for children.  Also we don’t like the idea of being in our 70s when they graduate from high school and still having college to support them through.  It might be selfish on our part, but now that we’ve found each other later in life, we want to be able to enjoy our retirement when we do retire without feeling we have to continue working to put our kids through college. 

     

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