(Closed) Anyone else not looking forward to this week?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, they should be harrassing him and not you. I remember early this year people were giving me a hard time and I straight up told my guy, “They’re bothering me with all these questions that I can’t answer because it’s not under my control and it’s getting depressing telling them I don’t know all the time. I’m sick of them bothering me instead of you because you are the one with the answers.”

AND it went surprisingly well. He really sympathized and said it made him sad that they were bothering me instead of him, because I was right, HE’S the one who has the answer, he’s the one doing the proposing. He sad it made him sad that they were making this something that was making me miserable. It was honestly nice hearing him say that.

Maybe you should just tell him. Be open and honest and who knows, maybe he’ll make sure he steps up and plays defense for you if he knows how upset it makes you. Then again, maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised and no one will ask. πŸ™‚ But you shouldn’t need to save him. It’s not solely on your shoulders.

Post # 4
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

Right there with you! We’ve been hearing “when’s the wedding??” since our first Thanksgiving. This year will be our 4th! I think I will actually be happy if we get asked the wedding questions though, because my big fear with it being Thanksgiving #4 is that my family won’t say ANYTHING because they’ve given up on the possibility of us becoming engaged. So in that respect, I’m not dreading the comments so much.

I do however have sister drama right now that I really don’t want to have to deal with on Thanksgiving.  My sister has BPD (if you’re not familiar, it’s basically bi-polar syndrome on steroids, mixed with hardcore paranoia and narcissism), and for the past couple of months she’s been on this hardcore “my sister hates me” kick. Even though I’ve done nothing malicious to her she sends me text messages and calls me asking me if I hate her, or accusing me of ignoring her.  Last night she accused me of blocking her on Facebook (which I haven’t done) and she cussed me out because SO and I didn’t take her on our DC trip (yeah, roll that one around in your head for a little while…).  She cited the fact that we told her we would all go on a trip sometime, SOMETIME, which is true, but then she saw that we went to DC and immediately flew off the handle because we “dissed her” by not inviting her.  Yeah, she’s batty lately..

Sooo, its gonna be a great Thanksgiving! 

Post # 7
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This thanksgiving will be my parents, me and SO. πŸ™‚ so I don’t have to worry about those questions for this thanksgiving. However, it’s our 5th one together. It’s about time!

Post # 8
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

@DaisyCakes: lucky you! Atleast you know you can relax and not worry, and enjoy your turkey and stuffing!  I’m having the normal huge family gathering, so anything could happen. But it’s okay, i’ve decided I’m not going to sweat the comments this year. After all as you put it, it IS about time.  4 or 5 years in I don’t blame the family for asking anymore. Maybe it would light up a fire under the SO’s behind! Hehehehe…

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Unfortunately I get it all the time from my family and friends, nobody asks SO about it, so next time if he’s with me I might just usher them over to his direction so HE can answer their questions, haha!

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Luckily I am 36  and SO is 41…no one bothers asking us questions regarding when we will be tying the knot!…My younger 33 yr old sister will take the brunt of the questioning…lol!

Post # 11
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MisfitPrincess: I feel for you having a sister with BPD. I dated someone with BPD for seven years. It’s a hard one. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. I found support from other people who understood it really helped me.

Good luck with Thanksgiving.

Post # 12
Member
30 posts
Newbee

Ugh totally feel your pain. This is our 4th Thanksgiving together and i too am dreading the comments. Why are they always directed at us, as if we can control it?! When someone asks, when are the two of you going to get married/engaged/have kids, I just answer, whenever he decides he is ready!

Post # 13
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

It is very annoying when family members and friends think they know what is best for our relationship.  A relationship that is between him and I, and they seem to want to tell us (him) when he should propose.  I’m looking forward t spending time with family, but not the marriage comments they will make.  We can do it and make it through!

Post # 14
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

I am SOOOO not looking forward to this week. I’m planning on some wine an xanax to help me through, but not for the reasons you mentioned. SO’s sister and family do not want him to get married again….and have told him so. They say “it didn’t work last time why do you think it’ll work this time?”

AND, she’s a classic sociopath. ’nuff said.

Post # 15
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m hoping this question won’t come up, since I’m going to my Dad’s and his family doesn’t really understand the full extent of our relationship I guess.

Post # 16
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had this happen all the time from friends and family. My response was always…you’ll have to ask him.  It was frustrating and I told him i was tired of getting all these questions from everyone.  No one bothers me about it any more, but the SO is getting all the questions now..haha..if he would do it already people would stop asking.  His response to them is…i will do it on my own time, dont worry about it.  The important part is that he talks to me about it and we know a “timeframe”

The only ones that ask me now if we are getting married is his 5 year old niece and 9year old nephew…i find that very sweet.  They just want to keep me around forever…love them πŸ™‚

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