- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Ever since I was little, I always thought “someday I’ll have kids,” and I figured that the desire would only get stronger as I got older.
But…I’m finding that the opposite is happening.
I am almost 27 (tomorrow actually lol) and will be 28 when I get married. Fiance will be 29. When we first started dating 4 years ago, we both agreed we wanted kids someday.
But the more I think about it, the less I want children. People keep telling me that we should have kids as soon as we get married because if we wait until we’re older we’re “taking health risks” and crap like that. I mean, I understand that there are risks if you have a baby at 60, but 30? Even 35? Then again, if we DO decide to have kids, I don’t want to be 65 when they graduate high school. Of course, I’m not going to get pregnant just because I’m at the “right age.” But what if I don’t feel the urge or am not sure until I’m, like, 45 and it’s too late?
There is just so much I want to do with my life. I want to travel, get a new job, write my novels, learn French, sign language, the piano, take yoga, learn to cook something without burning it. I just feel way to selfish right now to have a child. And I can’t see that going away in the next five years. I mean, it’s going to take a while to get the aforementioned goals accomplished.
And I am a big old wimp. I really don’t think I could physically or mentally handle being pregnant, giving birth, or dealing with all of the worries that come along with another human life!
My fiance and I have casually talked about this, and he said he’s pretty much fine with whatever we decide or whatever happens in the future. He even mentioned that adoption could be a possibility, which I wouldn’t totally rule out.
I guess I just feel like I should already know what I want in the kid department. People look at me like I’m nuts when I tell them I don’t know if I want to have kids.