Post # 17
We’re in the same boat. I’m unemployed and FH and I are both in school full time, paying for a wedding and also a new truck that FH absolutely had to have. I’m not being sarcastic there, his 1993 truck completely died on him and our schedules don’t line up for me to be able to take him to class and work.
It sucks, it really does. There have been weeks where we haven’t had food, other than ramen noodles, because we haven’t had money. I hate talking to anyone about it because they look at me funny and tell me that we’re having a wedding, so we must not be struggling that much. Well, I wanted a JOP ceremony but my mom and FH wanted a wedding, so we’re having one because my parents are paying for almost everything. We’ve spent just over $2000 and we don’t have much more to pay for, so we’re doing pretty good.
The job market is tough and I’m overqualified for entry level positions but underqualified for positions in my field of study, so I haven’t had much luck with anything. FH is looking for a better job, but it’s not easy for him either, and he’s a welder.
I just keep telling myself that we’re not going to be broke college students forever and that it is going to get better. We’re wise with our money, we’ve just hit a rough patch in the road.
Post # 18
@MrsSnowMountain: First off, I am very sorry you are feeling down about your financial situation. Secondly, kudos to you for having several degrees – that is great! The job market is horrible right now in many areas, so please don’t feel like you are alone. My older brother graduated with a bachelors in political science 1 year ago, and he is working a serving job because he can’t seem to find work. He is well dressed, smart, charming, hard working and personable, and he is also stuck working a minimum wage job. I know that seeing others struggle probably won’t make you feel better, but please realize that you are not alone. ((hugs))
I found several of your comments a tad rude towards women with larger rings. Just because someone has a large ring, and lives a nice lifestyle is not always an indication that they have poor character. I am curious why you would avoid threads of women with larger budgets? Your implication and generalization is offensive.
Post # 19
@MrsSnowMountain: I am completely with you. I graduated college in May 2012 with a degree in math and secondary education. I went on 30+ interviews. In the meantime, I was still working part time at the same place I’ve been working at since I was in high school (I’m a dietary assistant at a retirement home). As the school year dragged on and I still didn’t have a full time teaching job, I felt like my life was just worthless and all of my hard work had gone to waste. I did get a leave replacement position in March (which was awful and made me doubt my career choice altogether but that’s a different story), but now I’m back to where I was. On top of that, I was supposed to get married in 11 days but we had to postpone the wedding when we realized that we wouldn’t have enough money to live together. It definitely sucks.
Post # 20
@MrsSnowMountain: I feel your frustrations – when I was planning our wedding, I was only working part time and my DH was still in grad school. But I am not sure why you are so upset when people suggest delayng your wedding? I guess for us, it was a numbers game. We (1) decided on what kind of wedding we wanted. Then (2) we figured out (roughly) how much it would cost. Then (3) figured out how much we would be able to save each month for the wedding. Then (4) figured out how many months it would take to save that much.
Because of that, we were engaged for over 2.5 years. Honestly, for me, it was not a big deal…we were living together, had shared bank accounts, and essentially already living the “married life.”
If the legal document was that important, we would have done a smaller wedding (which would have required less months of saving).
And granted, during that time, I definitely took on several contract jobs to help with the savings, learned to make a myriad of meals using Ramen, and probably only ate out once a month. And also found many, many things at Goodwill.
It does suck to be broke and un/under-employed. My advice – stop looking at bridal mags. I looked at those for the first month, then, realizing how much those photographed wedding costs, quickly switched my bridal-looking to websites like 2000wedding.com 🙂
Post # 21
@MrsSnowMountain: I’m here with you too. We are paycheck to paycheck people. 1) I’m underemployed (took me a year and a half to find my current 33 hr/wk job that pays half of what I used to make) and 2) I have kids. My grocery bill is ridiculous. We’re talking close to $800/mo. I don’t have any grandparents or parents with money to pay for my wedding. They have their own bills to pay. Venues, decorations, music, food, even a dress are all way out of my budget. I just can’t justify saving for something as superfluous as a “wedding” when I have bills to pay. Things that other brides wouldn’t dream of doing without seem ridiculous to me. Probably because I already had a “wedding” the first time around (albeit very small), but even that $3,000 seemed like a gigantic waste to me after the fact. It was nice and all, but I could have bought a car (in 1999) for that much money! So I will not make that mistake this time knowing that I will just feel crappy for years afterward every time I need money for something and don’t have it. End of story, we’re going to the court house and using my (pretty decent) camera and a tripod to take some nice pics. Using a tripod cause I don’t know one person who knows how to take a decent picture other than me. lol.
Post # 22
Don’t get too discouraged! I have been fortunate to advance in my career within the last 3 years and I currently work at a charter school doing something I love (marketing) and I earn a pretty decent salary, but it took me a little while to get here.
However, my Fiance has a master’s degree and has been working in retail for the past 8 years, barely making above minimum wage. He applied for tons of jobs and couldn’t even get an interview.
Fortunately, he just got a new job as a physical education teacher and coach. Will he make a ton of money? No. But it is a step in the right direction toward doing something he we will.
Keep your head up, you never know when the next opportunity will present itself.
Post # 23
In the same boat.
My Fiance has a graduate degree and works part-time in a gym. I have a graduate degree and I’m unemployed. We’re in the process of moving to a new city because I’m going for my second (and final) graduate degree, which means Fiance will be quitting his part-time job. Each of us is having a hell of a time finding jobs. We saved ridiculously over the last year, but I hate seeing my savings dwindle.
It’s extremely frustrating to see that we both have graduate degrees, we have continual employment (even outside food service/retail), and have actually had two separate situations in which we knew people at the business and were able to network, and we still can’t get interviews.
This is my first time job hunting since 2007, and I can’t believe how difficult it is. Each day is full of anxiety wondering how we’re going to pay for things if we still don’t have jobs and our savings runs out.
In the midst of grad school, financial aid, apartment hunting, and job hunting. I’m planning our wedding. We wouldn’t be able to do it without my parents and his mom. They’ve been so generous, but even their contributions are limited. FI’s dad is really frustrating me because he wants to follow tradition (groom’s family does rehearsal only) but he keeps asking us about open bars and three-course filet mignon dinner.
Also, we’ve been working with friends and family to be our vendors and help cut costs. My brother-in-law and sister have a photography business, and my mom practically begged me to use them. I agreed (even though I’d rather they be BM/GM) in the expectation that they’d give us a good family discount. My sister just informed me that they’re probably going to give us ~$500 off, which means it would still be a $3000 photography bill! With an $8000 wedding budget! My mom said she would pay them fully, but that money is still coming out of the money she gave us for the wedding. My family knows our financial position and I guess I thought the discount would be more significant… I don’t even know how to handle this.
Post # 24
@MrsSnowMountain: WE ARE THE SAME! Sort of, ha. Except Fiance is the teacher, and I’m the student. Fortunately I have a little bit of savings, but certainly not enough to feel comfortable pulling off an elaborate (or even moderate, ha) wedding.
We’re actually having a really long engagement (school plus long distance), so we have some time to save, but I feel ya.
Post # 25
Aww thank you everyone for your lovely supportive comments! Sorry I don’t have time atm to respond individually (job applications, ahhh!) but I’m reading all of them! Best of luck to you ladies as well 🙂
Yeah I’m pretty depressed about the whole teaching thing… I was always encouraged to go ahead and be a highly-qualified French teacher, but now just in the past year things have done a complete 180 in Ontario for teachers, and it is indescribably bad… most schoolboards where I am are downsizing en masse rather than hiring! Furthermore, hiring is now done PURELY on seniority, not on merit, so I am at the bottom of a list of tens of thousands of people for even supply teaching! It’s awful. I just feel so betrayed and bitter about my career choice 🙁
The reason I get really really frustrated when people tell me we should delay our wedding is that I find the particular comments I recieve IRL to be elitist, by suggesting that it is not our place to presume to get married if we can’t afford a “decent” wedding. I don’t think that’s true, I think getting married costs a marriage license, and when the time is right, you should go for it. IMO marriage is the official beginning of your life together, and it is perfectly okay to begin that life very humbly.
Let me explain more: truly, I would prefer to elope. I do not want to spend ANY money if it were up to me. But my family is insisting on some cultural traditions, and that means a wedding, even a small one, which my parents want to pay for. I have to keep talking them down to fewer guests, because I know they don’t have money to spend either!
Post # 26
I totally feel your pain. My husband got laid off twice in the last 2 years. He’s taken a total of about a 17k paycut just since then. He’s now making less then he was when he first started working full time and that was 7 years ago and he was living at home then. I am severely underpaid. I was supposed to get a raise with my promotion a year ago but they put a freeze on all raises so i’m still waiting. The new guy they hired to take my position is even making more then me. Its really leading me to hate the job i once loved.
We managed to save up 10k for our wedding but somehow we still went over in stupid expenses like honeymoon shopping, hotel rooms, dogs hotel, etc and we didn’t have it so we ended up with an extra 1k in credit card debt that we have to somehow payoff. I still somehow ended up starting my marriage in debt and it depresses me to no end because i vowed to never fight about money again and we’ve done that more in the last month then we have in a while.
I have to say tho that our 10k wedding looked ALOT more expensive then it actually was. Everyone loved the food. I had unlimited beer and wine and no one complained. Everyone loved my dress and it was only 700.
Post # 27
I understand exactly how you feel. I’m a full time nanny and my Fiance is a systems engineer. He makes decent money and I make above average. Still, we can’t make ends meet. Between student loans and just daily life (rent, gas, groceries). We’ve cut out extra things like dinners out, movies, the bar scene (if we do we each have the cheapest beer that night). We don’t know what else to cut out, next is cable! No one understands the stuggle we have. The kicker for me is his parents are completely selfish. They claim to have no money (not that we’ve ever asked.) but are going on a cruise($3,000+) next March and haven’t offered us a penny towards the wedding. I don’t want a hand out but a little compassion for what we’re going through would be nice! My mom is a single mom who doesn’t recieve any help from my father, works 3 jobs and is sad that she can’t help us. But with her I understand that it’s not that she doesn’t want to, she just doesn’t have it to give.
This process has been absolutely depressing. Not enjoyable whatsoever. We have booked the venue and haven’t done anything else. Our budget is $8,000 and that is PUSHING it.
I wake up at 430am, go to the gym and then work from 730am-6pm Monday-Friday, idk how to pick up a second job. I’m trying but will have to only work on weekends as I get out too late during the week.
I can’t wait for the day when all our debt is paid off. I feel especially bad for my Fiance to have the education he does and to still be struggling. This economy is rough. I’m thankful to be working for doctors, their jobs won’t be going anywhere!