Post # 1
This thread is not a “should I” … We’ve (BF and I) already made this plan and it works for us. He’s going to propose with an inexpensive ring that I will eventually wear on my right hand and then I will buy my dream ring. I make substantially more than him at the moment and I have money in savings and no debt. It makes sense for us and I want my dream ring. My reasoning is that I’m not going to spend more on a dress I’ll wear once than a diamond I will wear the rest of my life. I think its silly that BF and my finances will be combined anyway when we get married, so who cares if I pay for it or he does?
I’m wondering if anyone else paid or is paying for their own ring?
ETA: Oops, meant to post this in Rings, not Beehive…
Post # 24
I am more traditional..I think the e-ring is supposed to be a gift from your SO, and I wouldn’t ever consider paying for it. If I wanted something bigger or more expensive I would mention it to him later on down the road, and hope that he would buy it for me as an anniversary gift. But, whatever works for you!
Post # 25
I chose that he paid for it but I didn’t notice the last option. All of our monies are joint but the reality is my bf makes literally 4x what I do, and that’s on a bad year. While I do feel as though he paid for it but if it hadn’t gone to the ring, it would to something else for us both – wedding, house, whatever. We’re not even engaged yet and our finances are completely intertwined so I dont even like thinking about it in any other way than as “our” money. It’s actually something I love about him a lot, when he makes any investment, no matter how large or small he always always runs it by me. We both know where the money is coming from but he never makes me feel like it’s not mine too.
Post # 26
For me the e-ring is a gift and a surprise, i don
t want to pay for it & i dont want to choose the ring. But i have no favourite ring & no big expectations.
Post # 27
I chose other.
I opted out of a ring when we got engaged for a few reasons, one of them being we opted to get married a couple months later and saved the money for our wedding. We did look together though as intended to buy one initially and our rings (he would have wanted an engagement ring too if I got one) would have been a joint purchase since we lived together already, no matter what account they came from. At time my husband was also still off work after taking early retirement from the military quite recent to that, and while he had savings, we preferred to keep those as long term retirement savings so any rings would have come from more recent short term savings that were obtained via my own income at that point.
I did get rings later after we were married, after I developed allergy issues and discomfort with my original wedding ring, and obviously they came from joint finances. Technically at that/this stage in our lives I do make more so more technically comes from my income but I treat our incomes as ours and our finances as ours so do not think of it like “who paid more of it.” of course at this point we are already married so they are more like a new wedding/marriage set than an engagement ring, for me anyway.
To me if it makes sense to buy it together, or her to buy it, or whatever, it is perfectly fine. We are untraditional though, and I also do not believe in and am uncomfortable with the idea that my husband should have proven financial “sacrifice” that he can “financially provide” for me or the other historical reasons behind the ring. Our choice to marry was a mutual decision that came after we already knew our mutual commitments to each other, knew we were continuing them going forward, and knew we were there for each other as a team, so a ring being bought by him “alone” at that point seemed somewhat superfluous and contradictory to the mutual promises we were already making as well as to the nature of our relationship. A ring to me from him “alone” was not required to show he was committed or serious, when I already knew that and our dynamic was based on mutual agreeements, commitments, experiences, and much talked of boundaries and expectations. That, and the finances were shared so it all comes from the same place anyway, in some way!
Post # 28
I voted “other” b/c He was paying on my ring then he lost his job. So in the end I paid my ring off…..
Post # 29
I have offered to help pay for it (or charge it on my credit card for him to pay off) but he is adament about doing it himself. I do think its unfair to ask him to buy it for me without some kind of contribution from me.
Post # 30
Other – because I offered to pay for anything above and beyond an established price point and he agreed. I was totally prepared to pay for my portion and was turned down at the register. 🙂 He could afford it. I could afford it. We didn’t sacrifice size or quality. Didn’t go into debt.
Post # 31
I paid for the ring because my fiance is in school and doesn’t make much money. For us, it made sense. I still feel like the ring is from him since he was very involved in choosing the details. I’m happy with the way we did it because we could pick out what we wanted without limiting ourselves as much financially. Plus, I would have felt guilty describing the ring I wanted if I knew he would be paying with such limited funds.
Post # 32
I opted for other, my fiance paid for my ring but I didn’t want to say I opted for a less expensive ring so that he could pay for it. And I didn’t want to say he could easily afford it because I earn a lot more than my fiance.
The ring was less expensive than I always thought I’d have BUT we got a good deal from a jewlerr my family know, so we took my mum along (she gets the discount). I couldn’t decide between two rings but in the end I stood and choose the one that was in fact a lower price because it was a square cut which I always wanted…all in all I was very happy.
Post # 33
my first ring he paid all by himself, when i upgraded i contributed part of it from OUR tax money and my last ring cameo ut of our savings. His savings are in my bank and i also put money into our savings account, his money is mine and mine is his
Post # 34
i voted other…. because at the time the ring was on sale i happened to have had all of the money in full due to taxes, and the sale would not have lasted until his came in, it was also a buy it in full, no finance sale.
.. i paid for it initally out of my bank account- however on his insistance, i no longer pay my portion of our time share ( my portion is 200 a month) until the money i spent is caught up.
I know it sounds weird, we have several joint finances but this way worked for us, i got my ring and he is paying for it in the long run
Post # 35
We split the cost of our wedding bands but DH paid for my engagement ring!
Post # 36
We have a joint account, so in all honesty I probably did pay for my ring (and he ended up paying more for rent that month or whatever). Mine is a fill-in ring for now, when I upgrade down the road I plan on paying for it myself. Again, we have combined finances so it doesn’t make a huge difference to me.
Post # 37
Other, he paid cash for my ring, it’s gorgeous, and asking me to contribute wouldn’t have been a consideration.