- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
OP, you will be just fine!
OP – I haven’t had kids, but my BFF is due soon and she was pretty terrified of birth the first couple months. Now she’s to the point where she just wants to be done. The best line of thinking we came up with?
If it were that bad, we’d all be only children. Considering she was the oldest of 6 and I’m the oldest of 4, something must be worth it!
I haven’t had kids but I agree with others about if you psych yourself out and think it’s going to be very painful it very likely will be.
My aunt gave birth 3 times. Twice without epidural but for the last one she was on epidural. She gave birth to 8lb twins (each!) and then said, let’s do that again! lol
Everyone is going to have an opinion and a story based on their own experience. It’s best if we just accept that and move on to form our own opinions. All hospitals, babies and birth experiences are different and work differently.
I wouldn’t say that I am terrified, but I could definitely say that I am nervous. I think it’s only natural to be a bit nervous whether it’s your first child or your fifth, just because it’s fear of the unknown. This is my first baby and I’ve just really been trying to avoid the horror stories and the negative comments and I’ve been seeking out positive and inspirational birth stories. I have found that turning to the natural birthing community has been a great help in easing my fears and I think it would be for any woman, whether you plan to go natural or not.
If you ask me, the labor was what was difficult. The delivery, in comparison, was very nearly a piece of cake.
You have posted your experience with an epi but not everyone who has an epi has that same experience. Why is that so hard for you to grasp?
OP: From what I’ve heard from other moms that had vaginal births the consensus seemed to be that those that had the epidural, while having the temporary relief, they had to labor in bed (which then you can’t help labor along yourself with gravity & movement) and tended to have more severe tearing b/c they could not feel like they needed to work with their body & baby to deliver. Also, I’ve heard quite a few times that the epi ended up not working at all, or only partially, or wearing off while still in the middle of delivery and then momma wasn’t prepared with any pain management coping techniques. <– now that’s scary!
Moms that prepared for an unmedicated birth and didn’t get an epi were able to move around in labor, which doesn’t just help cope with pain (different positions at different points throughout) but also helps things progress because of GRAVITY (woohoo for gravity!) AND while they were actually pushing they were able to feel better to move how they needed (squatting, all 4s, etc) to not only help speed up but also have more control so if they needed to stop so as not to tear they more likely could b/c they could feel what was going on.
Pain becomes scary when the purpose is forgotten or not known and when lose sight of the control we do have. You can check out this site with some AWESOME coping techniques for both mom AND your birthing partner. Even if you do go for a medicated birth it’s ALWAYS best to prepare to go natural (since they may not work OR you may be too far along to get them)
Don’t psyche yourself out…. this IS something you can do…. and you CAN get all the info you need to help you through it! knowledge = power! =)
I’m not pregnant, and not TTC for probably… 4 or 5 years. That being said, even seeing the TITLE of this thread made my chest hurt and tears well up. I’m not sure why I am so panicked over something that is so far away but it literally makes me sick to think about! I appreciate reading the positive responses here 🙂
wearing off while still in the middle of delivery and then momma wasn’t prepared with any pain management coping techniques. <– now that’s scary!
That happened to me. It hurt like a motherfucker. But this might be helpful. When I realized the epidural wasn’t working (it stopped during transition and I freaked) I took a deep breath told myself that birth was SUPPOSED to hurt. It isn’t like when you put your hand in a fire, or somebody hits you in the face with a frying pan, and you get scared because it hurts and you don’t know what damage is done.
Our bodies are made to handle the pain, and that thought process what got me through it. Also, even if you plan on getting an epi, I would recommend taking childbirth classes. I had no pain management techniques and really had to let my mind almost float out of my body during childbirth. There was about two minutes of screaming for a c-section, and for gas to knock me out but then I recovered and I only have happy memories of giving birth!
Also, during your 9 month of pregnancy you are SO ready for birth, that it won’t seem that scary.
I’m 6 months today, and am actually feeling pretty good about it all. I am nervous because I have no idea how to know how it will happen, but I have faith my body knows what to do. I’m also counting on the fact that my mother has babies in less than 2 hours. Maybe I’m setting myself up for disaster. 🙂
Oh, and I am currently reading The Birth Partner, and actually really like reading about it all. I feel like knowledge is power!
Not preganant yet but the thought of delivery scares me as I have low threshold for pain. My best friend recently gave birth and she said delivery was anticlimatic and epidural made her feel no pain. Another friend had a c-section and she is doing fine too and back to work with no extra time off other than usual. I have read horror stories too but having people in real life who had good experiences helps take some of the fear off. So I would say its not all bad out there and surround yourself with positive stories 🙂
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