(Closed) Anyone else paying when they weren’t expecting to?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah the budgeting part really sucks.  We both talked to our sets of parents separately and discusses finances.  We’re lucky in that both sets of parents agreed to help out with 25% each… which mean Fiance and I are responsible for 50% of the wedding costs. 

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i was given a cheque from each of our mums and was left alone.   hearing from alot of brides on WB i think it would be so much easier for you if you were just given a cheque because its causes so much drama

 

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I definitely think getting the money up front is the way to go when parents say they’ll pay! haha

Post # 7
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

We had originally budgeted $4k each among us (bride/groom), and the two mothers. But then my mom basically bailed on us and only gave a grand total of $400 in nearly 10 months (instead of that much EVERY month). So now we’re rebudgeting (eliminating A LOT), having his mom pay a little more, and using a little bit of credit (which we dreaded but had to do since we already had a lot of non-refundable deposits out). It’s gets really frustrating because you want to be happy for people having lavish weddings without going into debt but then again, you get really spiteful and jealous. Not a good feeling to have. 🙁

Post # 9
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

my parents have offered to pay for the reception and my dress, it’s very generous of them and i hope they follow through! they will probably end up having more input then i would like, but my mom has excellent taste so i am not too worried.

i think you’ll enjoy having all the creative freedom!!! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My parents are helping out with the wedding and so I asked Fiance if he thought his parents would put some money towards our honeymoon.  We’ve been in school FOREVER and I am very excited to go on a decent trip together.  Well they said, “Well probably not, where do you want to go, San Diego?”  

Now I like San Diego, but I was thinking Greece, Italy, croatia, somewhere FAR away.  I mean this will be our 1st trip as husband and wife and I LOVE to travel.  Well I was pretty ticked at first b/c I knew that if my parents weren’t contributing to the wedding that FI’s parents would give us money for the wedding.  But I think they only want to give money for events that They will be there for!

Anyways i was mad for awhile and Fiance was too!  he was floored actually.  But now I’m actually happy because now I get to do whatever I want and they don’t really get to control any of it!

Post # 11
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We ended up paying more than we expected to but that is because we wanted a few of the “extras” that weren’t really thought of initially. My parents are divorced so we got money from my mom/stepdad, my dad, and his parents. All put in quite a bit and we are very grateful for that, but I ended up spending more on things- like decor, stationery, etc. so that meant a bigger bill for us.

Post # 12
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We live in my parent’s house (but my parents dont live with us… It’s complicated) so they contribute $1500 monthly to the mortgage, so there isnt much more that they can contribute. However my mom has offered to pay for my dress which is very much appreciated. My FI’s parents are not at all keen on the idea of helping any, and though they are modest people, they are LOADED. I know it’s very petty of me, but I feel like my parents do SO much for BOTH of us, even though they’re not rich, while his parents refuse to help pay for something that they too will be a huge part of.

Our wedding isnt going to be extravagent by any means, but there’s still a lot of money involved, especially since I’m still in college. It’s terrible of me, but I’m really starting to resent his parents for their absolute refusal to help…

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’re paying quite a bit, although my parents said they would pay for it.  I feel bad letting them pay for ALL of it since Fiance and I both have good jobs and I have savings.  I payed for almost all the vendor deposits and we have paid for all the little stuff like invitations, favors, programs, etc.  My issue is that my parents didn’t give me ANY sort of budgetary “guidelines”, “rules”, “boundaries” AT ALL.  We are getting good deals and not going crazy, but I’d feel a lot better if they would have just said “Here’s $XXX to spend on your wedding.  Anything you don’t spend you keep, anything over you pay for.”  And FI’s parents don’t make much (his dad is unemployed and his mom works an hourly job) so they aren’t contributing anything, not even the rehearsal dinner, which is traditional.  We are paying for that.

Post # 15
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

My mom promised me $3k. I said it was fine, that she didn’t have to (she had lost her job just prior to when she said she’d give us the money), asked her if it was ok FOR SURE. I would have been fine without, but she INSISTED that it was alright and gave me the money. I ended up spending about half, and used mine and Hubby’s money instead. By the time the wedding was over, she was broke (horrible at managing money, plus some unexpected events) and I just ended up giving her the money back. She still doesnt have a real job (just substitute teacher) but I don’t know if she’s really been looking either. So basically, I got no wedding gift at all from my mom. Which is fine, because I don’t expect a gift or anything, it’s just irritating how it all played out, you know?

Post # 16
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

well, I should say I gave her about $1k, and gave my brother $2k because she ran up debts on his credit cards that she wasn’t paying off. So it was kind of like giving her money, but not directly.

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