Post # 1
So my geographic circumstances meant there were no family or friends while I was dress shopping (5 shops) and ultimately selected. I was literally by myself but actually never even thought this was unusual!
I almost think that was easier and never thought twice about it or wished someone was there. Now I watch Say Yes to the Dress and am thinking this is weird! “Brides want their mothers to be there when they decide this.” I wonder if I would’ve/could’ve done better/different if I had a small posse.
Dress is still on order (Paloma Blanca 3953) but not having any regrets at this point – other than hoping I lose about 15 lbs in 8 months to feel more comfortable! Not impossible but still work 🙂
Any other solo dress shoppers and/or buyers? Do you think it was easier or harder? Regrets going this route? Praises going this route?
Post # 3
I picked mine out by myself and absolutely love it. I went with the friends and family to a few places, but ended up going back to those places alone and actually had a better experience and alot more fun with just myself and the sales people. I did go in the middle of the day early in the week so I usually had most of the sales people to myself and they were kind of bored, so I got to be the kid in the toy factory trying on what seemed like every dress ever created. LOVED IT!
Post # 4
@maery1: I preferred going alone and just with my Maid/Matron of Honor on separate trips.
You don’t have to deal with everyone else’s opinion of what they think would look best because, all too often, it is what they would rather want for themselves, not you. They are too consumed by other factors rather than focusing on what is truly in the best interest of the bride, what best suits her personality and features, and what makes the bride most happy. They have their own perceptions of the bride which may or may not encompass all that she is. I went shopping with my parents first: BIG mistake, because they were stuck in their perception of me as a little girl, and content with seeing me in what amounted to a big poofy tutu. I then shopped alone (with my Nana’s bracelet on my hand — she passed away but it was remembrance of her being with me) and found something I liked. Made one final trip with my Maid/Matron of Honor, who was very respectful of my opinion before giving her opinion. She was genuinely thrilled for me and I think it is rare to find someone in one’s life who is that generous. If you can shop with someone like that, you’re set.
Post # 5
@Cornflakegirl: I agree!I know I wouldn’t enjoy shopping with someone else, especially my mother because we are so different and she has a tendency to impose her opinion on others. I think I would have felt suffocated!!!!!You are very lucky to have such a nice person as your Maid/Matron of Honor. Being respectful of the bride’s opinion and what makes her happy is very important…but we don’t get to see that often….
Post # 6
I must admit, SYTTD has taught me alot also…
I will only bring 1 or 2 people, but mostly its been my son. He has been a trooper:) I also had one other male friend. A total style genius although not gay.
I don’t think I want to go with more than 1 person after watching so many episodes of SYTTD because I think the rivalry gets involved, feelings get hurt, etc, blah blah blah… toooooo much drama.
One of my BFFs only took me along to her dress tryouts because I am honest to the point that she tried on a dress and I said “girl you look like a drag queen, get outta that thing” LOL she agreed once she saw herself in it.
I think I will end up choosing a dress alone. I know what I like, I know what my husband is looking for (we are having a vow renewal, but its the wedding of my dreams after 20 years) I dont mind having people with me, but, ultimately the decision will be mine.
Excited to see which one i am gonna pick, cuz i have NO IDEA at this point and it will probably be the LAST Thing I choose:(
Good thread! definitely >subscribe<!
Post # 7
i chose my dress by myself, and ordered it online. i didnt miss having someone to share it with.
the one person i would have loved being with me is my mum, but as she is no longer with us, i did it by myself. i could have had my 23 yr old daughter but she has very different tastes to me and i know i would have been swayed into wearing something that SHE liked, but that didnt really do it for me. So i pleased myself and i am happy with my choice.
Post # 8
The first time I took my matron of honor for my first time ever trying on dresses. I appreciated her being there butttt we have very different styles. She’s very traditional and kinda plain. I’m more out there. So stuff I loved she vetoed immediately. So, I ended up going solo the next 5-6x I went to different bridal salons and I loved it!
Note my parents live in DC and I go to law school in GA, otherwise my mommy would’ve been there the whole way b/c she gets me and will let me pick what I like as far as style. Just didn’t like friends. going!
Post # 9
I went dress shopping and purchased my dress all on my own because, like you, I live far from my mother and sisters. I was the only bride at any shop that was alone and sometimes mothers of other brides would come over and tell me how beautiful I looked in certain gowns (they maybe felt sorry for me??? lol). Anyway, I felt really independant and empowered to make a choice on my own. I felt like I wasn’t being swayed by anyone. It was really low stress. I do not regret it at all. When my dress came in, my parents happened to be in town visiting for the weekend and they were able to come to my first fitting.
Post # 10
My first trip was with three friends. Too many cooks in the kitchen! It was fun, but tiring as I tried on dresses I had no interest in.
From then on, I went alone. After I found my reception dress, I took my mother to see it. It was much, much better to work one on one with the consultants.
Post # 11
The first time I went with just my mother. She was in town for the weekend and I felt pressured to buy, which I did. Then I had dress regret and got something else solo. Then I had more dress regret and found an awesome Anne Barge on the internet.
The Anne Barge was definitely it, but I wish I had one or two of my friends or sisters with me on my other shopping trips. I was a little lonely and they probably would have prevented my first two mistakes.
Post # 12
my best friend came with me, and was with me for more than 2 hours, but then she had to leave..and right after she left, I found it! so yeah, STILL no one has seen me wearing it!
Post # 13
The whole time, I really wanted to go by myself! I’m the type of person who has a hard time making decisions and i want to make everyone happy before i think about myself. So i thought this was a decision i should make on my own, without other peoples opinions! Unfortunatly, i was unable to go by myself because i didnt want to hurt anyones feelings, and i actually almost ended up buying a dress that was completly wrong for me one day. Actually the one i almost bought AND my second choice looked absolutly horrible on me! I’m glad i waited and looked at pictures and i actually ended up sneaking to a different shop with just my sister to try on dresses and ended up finding the one:-) i then went back with the whole crew like it was my first time and they all like that one too:-)
so i think it’s good that you chose it all on your own, with no one to influence you! I almost ended up with the wrong dress because of the people i went with!
Post # 14
It was so nice to get ALL the attention because there is no posse for the sales people to appease/talk to/explain why something does/doesn’t work etc. There were also no other customers so I had the store to myself. Until of course a local news camera crew walked in looking for interviews on wedding gowns b/c the royal wedding was in a few days! Definitely declined that haha. They had to wait until another customer came in!
I really enjoyed my solo experience at the place I ultimately chose from – half the reason I purchased there. I felt like I got honest opinions from experts as opposed to friends/family who aren’t as familiar with dressing body types and wedding gown shapes. It’s difficult to hear “NO” opinions from people who can’t’ articulate why they don’t like it. Whereas the sales person can say “this straight bust isn’t working because it’s making your chest look larger” – even though it’s counterintuitive for a busty girl (me!), she explained getting a modified sweetheart would actually make it look smaller…which is against everything I’d imagine since it’s lower cut! I’m afraid sometimes excellent advice like this gets lost in the hubbub of a posse and you can end up selecting a style the posse loves, but doesn’t look right on you.
It’s almost like when you have someone close to you teaching you how to do something like skiing…it can get personal and heated when you get frustrated. It’s easier to take information, good and bad (for ex, the style you always wanted doesn’t work well body), from an emotionally detached person. Keeps the stress and drama down! I’m glad many of you ultimately found the right dress after ditching the peanut gallery! Dress shopping or shopping in general has never been a big thing between my mother and I so neither of us missed each other either. Maybe weird, but I’m the 7th child in my family to do this, so I think the parents are pretty immune to the wedding emotions…makes planning easier!
Post # 15
i was k-solo, too! i think it’s for the best. you are sure to get what YOU want 😉
Post # 16
I went by myself as well. I sort of wished I spent more time looking because I wasn’t crazy about my dress in the end but I still wore it.