(Closed) Anyone else planning a wedding alone?… Away from home, family and friends

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SeaBaby:  I’m from MN and am living in MD right now but planning our wedding for MN.  FI’s and my family are all in MN along with all of our friends so it’s pretty much just up to us.  I definitely lean on him a lot.  I guess I don’t really have any advice except to try not to stress yourself out too much and just power through.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i dont have any advice, i too am planning our wedding alone but having this site definitely helps!! I think to start it is very important to stay organized, write every detail down, pin every inspiration and take it a day at a time. 

Post # 5
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My family is in europe. I live in Canada. My Fiance and I live together. His family is very helpfull and my friends want to help a lot as well. So I am not in the same situation as you, however….

I am a perfectionist and feel that I am doing everything myself because i want to LOL My friends offer to help with stuff and I am sure I’ll let them so some things (just to please them) but in all honestly I would be happy to do it all myself. 

Come to your fellow bees if you get stuck with anything 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t live far from my family or anything, but it’s not like they had to be there for every wedding-planning decision I made.  In fact, I got a lot more help with planning from the Bee than anywhere else!  It can actually be detrimental to your wedding plans to constantly have other people giving their opinions–I felt like I had to please everyone and it got difficult sometimes–for example, my mom, Fiance (at the time), and I went cake-tasting together, Fiance had made it clear he wanted the cake to be at least half red velvet, and my mom got really opinionated about how much she didn’t want red velvet–silly drama!

Post # 7
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I am planning alone as well. I just moved to my fiance’s country to be with him and I can’t drive or work. My fiance is here but he works 10 hour days and by the time he gets home all the shops are closed and we can’t do a lot. I don’t have any friends here yet so I’m literally doing everything alone.

I know it is very stressful. I always want help and input from my friends and family back home but it gets so exhausting explaining things and sending photos through email and text messages. They are 3,000+ miles away from me. It’s hard when you realized most people have bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor to help them do a lot of wedding stuff, and we just don’t have that luxury :/

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. I don’t have a lot of advice, but forums like this have helped me figure out a lot of things that I would have asked my family for advice on if they were here. All I can say is start early! Be proactive. My wedding is in approx 6 weeks and I am quite far behind.

Post # 8
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am planning our wedding alone for the most part (very little family, none local, my bridesmaids are 3+ hours away, wedding is 2 hours away from where we live), BUT – I love it! I’m a Type A personality who loves this sort of thing, so I haven’t struggled with it at all. But maybe I can come up with some tips that would help by thinking about what I love and what has been helpful?

– Get whoever you want involved in wedding planning on Pinterest and use it big time! It will start to give others an overall feel for your vision & thoughts.

– Take pictures of all the stuff you go look at. If you don’t have a venue yet, using the panorama feature on your phone for photos is awesome for taking images of rooms.

– Don’t ask for opinions you don’t want to hear. Especially at a distance, it can be easy to take an opinion too personally. If you like something and don’t want to hear otherwise, don’t say “What do you think of this?” Say, “We picked this out and are really excited, so I wanted to show you!” Be really clear when you are asking for an opinion versus when you are sharing a decision that has been made. A negative comment about something you like can really sully something for you.

– If anyone is traveling in at any point, save up some wedding projects for that time frame. My Maid/Matron of Honor is coming in this weekend and we’re going to go through all the wedding stuff, probably make some tissue flowers, etc.

I really am enjoying planning alone because I don’t have a million opinions to take into account. Even with Fiance, he likes it when I narrow down the options to a couple or few that I would be happy with and then let him give input on those few. He doesn’t want to know ALL the options, just the ones I’ve vetted.

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it is that unusual to feel that way especially if your family and friends are in other states. I feel like I am doing our wedding alone well with my FI’s help here and there. We live in Northern VA but our wedding is in Buffalo, NY. But I think having a website like WeddingBee helps a lot too because it is a great online forum where you can talk to other brides anonymously and get help with issues that otherwise you may not be able to figure out yourself. And it also prevents me from constantly talking to my Fiance about wedding this…wedding that…LOL All my BMs are out of state except for 2 and they are really busy so I haven’t gotten that much help from them other than opinions about flowers, their dreses, etc. my Maid/Matron of Honor is going to help me with escort cards and embellishing invitations, and plan a get together for down here but other than that I am happy if she is there on our wedding day and helps out here and there during the wedding. I think sometimes it easier to plan a wedding without a million people’s opinions about this, that, and the other. Happy planning! =)

Post # 10
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SeaBaby:  Yes, I planned everything alone!  Even when I had a 75 guest Destination Wedding that I planned.  I don’t really expect help so I was not upset or sad about it.  I mean it is our wedding!

Post # 11
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am! I’m in Dallas and FHs family is in another state and mine is 8 hours south of here. We are getting married here in Dallas, but it does get a little sad not being able to share certain things with family. My mom just got an iphone so Ive been texting her pictures like crazy. I have one Maid/Matron of Honor here in Dallas, but she is so so busy and my other Maid/Matron of Honor lives probably an hour from Canada. It sucks sometimes, like knowing I wont get a shower, etc… Oh well! 

Post # 12
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m from Sweden but live in Canada with my Fiance. The wedding will be in Sweden, where I have my family and both bridesmaids… So I’m definitely doing most of it myself, although my Fiance helps as much as he can. I find that some things really stress me a lot, like the venue and to have to rely on my family to pick it for us (been awful so far). It get’s a little better if I can get other stuff done, so whenever I feel worried – I get going with invitations or deciding flowers. I’ve also installed WhatsApp on my phone, and that has been a lifesaver when it comes to the communication between my bridesmaids and me!

 

The real key for keeping me sane, LOTS of spreadsheets and this site so that I can went to other wedding obsessed people!

Post # 13
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Me! I live in Canada but am from Australia. 

It’s extremely difficult planning a wedding away from home. I think my biggest problem is that I can’t visit the locations so can’t picture all the wonderful things I could do with the space in my mind. Its easy to think of negatives, it’s harder to picture positives without having a specific vision. 

 

Post # 15
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I live about a 90 minute plane ride from my hometown, which is where the wedding will be. We’ve had a somewhat long engagement (almost 20 months) and luckily it hasn’t been TOO stressful with the planning, as we’ve taken on booking the major vendors early and one at a time with plenty of time to spare. It does suck though when email and phone are your main modes of communication with your vendors. I’m having my BM’s dresses custom-made, and they may have to go by themselves to get measured by the seamstress. I do worry a bit that the dress won’t look exactly the way I want, but I’ll probably put my mom in charge of that. My fiancé and I are flying back a few times just so that we can get some wedding stuff done. At this point, we only have to find an officiant, makeup/hair person and a florist, but we are meeting with some vendors in March.

One thing I did get a little sad over was that I pretty much did my wedding dress shopping alone. Nobody but me has actually seen me wear my dress in person. I’m not an overly sentimental person but it still would have been nice if my sister and mom were with me. On the upside though, I would recommend that brides look for their dress at least once by themselves so that they could form their own opinions first before getting input from their friends and family.

I don’t have much advice but you’re not alone! I call and text my mom, sister and other bridesmaids whenever I need their advice and I show them inspiration pictures. It’s not an ideal situation to be planning your wedding away from home and I never actually thought I would end up in that situation but I try to make the best of it.

Post # 16
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m planning alone, for the most part. Our families are in AZ and CA. We live in CO and are planning our wedding here this Summer. So basically, the Bee has been my guide. Fiance gets a lot more decision making than most grooms because I just can’t do everything by myself.

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