Post # 1
My wedding is in the beginning of September and I’m taking the bar exam at the end of July. Lately it just feels like I can’t get a handle on either (the test or the event) and I’m feeling totally overwhelmed to tears at moments fearing I’ll fail the bar and the wedding will suck! (unreasonable, I know, it’s the extreme of my neurosis)
I’m wondering how to manage expectations– my own and those I feel from others. I’d really like to pass the bar exam the first time, but I’d also really like to diligently work on the wedding details.
Anyone else feel overwhelmed with wedding planning and something else equally as big if not bigger? If so, how do you cope?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I know how you feel! We’re getting married in January, and I’ll be student teaching/applying for jobs from August-December, then I’ll graduate in December, then we have Christmas and New Years, then almost immediately after that is our wedding! I haven’t gotten too stressed about it yet since it’s still a while off, but I know it’s going to be insane once next semester starts! My best advice would be to make sure you schedule your time so that you have breaks – have at least one day a week where you don’t think/talk about wedding stuff AT ALL. That will help you feel like it’s not taking over your life!
Post # 4
I understand! We moved a month after we got married and I was planning while working almost 80 hour work weeks! Just remember that you are only one person and it’s okay if things aren’t perfect all the time. You will do the best you can. As for wedding planning, delegate as much as you can!
Post # 5
I hear ya. Our wedding isn’t until October, but in the mean time we’re renovating and moving into our first house, attending my cousin’s wedding, FMIL’s wedding, bro’s wedding, all of their showers and/or stag and doe’s plus my own shower, and my Future Sister-In-Law is having a baby soon just to add that into the mix.. lol. All before October. Factor in work and stress and the fact that Fiance is only home 1-2 days a week and what do you get?: well, hysterical laughter mostly.
Post # 6
Well I felt kind of bad because I planned my wedding for the week after my mom’s 50th birthday, and I knew she wanted to do something special for her bday. But we are still going out of state for a weekend to celebrate with her. So I hope she wont be upset 🙂 I will probably mention a happy birthday to her at our wedding also 🙂
Post # 7
Yes, I completely understand. I’m in the process of leaving my job to go back to university to change career (will graduate 3 weeks before wedding in July 2011) so exams and career change looms on my end. My Fiance has to go to Afganistan for 5 months from Jan – May 2011 & gets home about 2 months before our wedding. So not so much one off events, but massive things to get through in terms of planning & input.
The best I can say is try and make sure you have time for non wedding & exam things. Get friends & family to help wherever possible!
Post # 8
Seeing as you are short on time, then just try to prioritise the really important things for your wedding. Personally, I’m not DIYing very much. I’m gonna order invitations from the cheapest decent looking vendor I can find, because nobody but me will care.
Maybe set aside every other Saturday morning to make phone calls, order stuff, etc? How are you on delegation? Do you trust your mom/his mom/ your Maid/Matron of Honor to arrange stuff for you? Could be a great way to get through it.
Post # 9
My wedding isn’t until next July, and I am already stressing… I will graduate from nursing school in May, take the NCLEX to get my RN License in June, and get married in July. Over the next 3 semesters I will be struggling to find time for wedding planning. I’m actually taking a break from studying right now! I’m so so scared something will happen between now and then that will mess something up.
As far as getting through it? I just rely on my Fiance and my family a lot -they keep me going. And try to focus on school for now & not a lot of wedding planning until I get a break between semesters.
Good luck with everything girl! 🙂
Post # 10
I’m also getting married in September (of next year) and taking the bar the July before. Sometimes I think I am completely insane for chosing that, but frankly there is never a perfect time for a huge event.
I’m trying to get everything done for the most part this summer, and then just finish up the last minute details right before the wedding.
Good luck with the bar! You can do it!
Post # 11
Yes. Heh… We were engaged last October, planned to marry 10/10/10 and found out in April that I’m pregnant. Due to the money we’d already put into it that the vendor said we would lose if we moved the wedding up and the fact that we both have parents who live outside the country who had to plan to come in October, we left it. The wedding is 10/10 and the baby was supposed to be 11/11. Found out last week that it is now due 11/4. Just a *leetle* stress. Also can’t sell my brand new with tags $1,000 Alfred Angelo gown that I had bought before we knew I was pregnant, damn it. Not eBay, Craigslist, PreOwnedWeddingDress, etc. Fortunately my Future Mother-In-Law has a friend who is a Julliard-trained dressmaker who is making me a beautiful gown but I am still out $600 between fabric, trim, etc. Not to mention tired, grouchy and worried about how I will get through wedding week!
Post # 12
Uhm yeah I totally feel your pain. In May I finished my last semester 5 Accounting classes, same timeline of a couple of months before the wedding, and trying to find a job for after graduation, oh and working full time at a miserable job. Yeahhh….not my best moment but I got through it. My advice to you, is stop planning the wedding until the bar exam is done. One thing at a time, don’t even think about the wedding right now, unless its urgent and only you can do it, it can be delegated to your wedding party or your groom. Only a few more weeks of this and then you can be back in full planning mode. Don’t drive yourself crazy, it will allll be ok
Post # 13
I am planning my wedding while working full time in a managerial position, going to school full time, studying for medical management credentialing exams, and applying to grad school. It’s not easy, Ruby dear, but you can do it.
The best thing that helped me was discovering the GTD organization system. Mostly, what it taught me was to make a really good to-do list with due dates, and once a week, set aside some time to write down everything that you’re worried about, every little task, that way you’re not endlessly thinking about every single detail and task that needs to be done.
And take some time to think about what you really care about, and what isn’t important. That will help you to prioritize your time. There may be some things that you may stress about that you actually don’t care about, and that take away from spending time on what your really find special and meaningful.
Post # 14
I would suggest focusing on the bar exam for now. You’ll still have some time to plan last-minute wedding details after it’s over. And if a few wedding details get missed? You can’t “flunk” your wedding unless you forget the groom, the officiant, or the marriage license.
I actually took my second bar exam while setting up my own law practice and writing a book. It wasn’t a fun time, but it all worked out.