Post # 1
Since I started planning this wedding and getting involved in the online wedding community (forums, blogs, etc) I’ve noticed many brides-to-be have a village of friends, BFFs, sisters, mothers, ILs, etc. I’m doing this alone (with my Fiance, of course) and I feel so lost in this. Besides the wonderful brides here that have been very helpful with ideas, I have no one outside the internet to give me advice and input or just be a companion. There will be no showers or parties because there will be no one to plan or invite. The wedding will be small not because we want to save money and have an intimate affair, but because there will not be many people to invite.
Is there anyone else in this situation? How do you handle it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I planned my first wedding on my own and I am planning this wedding on my own. Trust me, the more people involved the more stressful the planning becomes because everybody has an opinion. Same for having a smaller wedding, the smaller the wedding, the easier it is to plan in general. Be happy. You’re getting married!
Post # 4
@CARA1978: you’ve been spared a lot of stress, my friend. Yes, you read a lot about bees having bridesmaids, showers, bachelorette parties… but most of them are rants, not praises. Keep it simple and enjoy your wedding planning with your Fiance. You’ll have a wonderful wedding surrounded by the people who are closest to you.
Post # 5
I am doing it on my own ( we live a state away from anyone who would help) and honestly after hearing so many stories about rude bridesmaids and family members I kind of see it as a blessing! I dont have anyone disagreeing and veering me away from the things I truly love!
Post # 6
@CARA1978: I agree that you have been spared stress. I have two sisters, a wedding obsessed mom, and a wonderful best friend, but find myself rarely asking for input because it generally creates problems and more work. It’s better that I make decisions and plan by myself, with my wedding planner, and with my fiance’s input. I am getting my dream wedding by doing it this way! I actually think many brides ultimately plan by themselves with their fiancé, except in situations where the bride has no money and is at the mercy of the parents who are paying. My mom is paying for most of my BROTHER’s wedding, as his fiance’s family has limited money, and it might as well be my mom’s wedding. She pushes and pushes, and plans what she likes/wants instead of what the bride wants half the time. I praise God my fiancé is paying for our wedding and I can do what I like. Enjoy being on your own and don’t see it as a negative!
Post # 7
@CARA1978: DATE TWINS!
I was going to respond that the same is for me, but my bridesmaids are planning a bachelorlady party.
Everything else is super fun to do by yourself. You are in control. You don’t have nonsense ideas around you. I know it can be hard when it seems like soooo many people on the internet are like
My best friend is a brilliant photographer.
My sister does calligraphy.
My mom runs a flower shop.
My uncle is a wood worker and has volunteered to build our stage, and a beautiful bustwork in our likeness that will make everyone so jealous.
My brother works at a limo company! Free limos!
That’s my experience at least. Or how I see it.
Post # 8
@CARA1978: You aren’t doing it alone! You have your Fiance to help! Whike I have had a lot of help from mom, sisters, and friends, I think my Fiance has helped the most. We have become closer by talking about what we each want and practicing our firstdance 🙂
Post # 9
I agree with what other people have said. The more people –> the more problems. I plan my wedding myself as well and I liked it that way.
Post # 10
I’m an only child and my mom is 400 miles away, so it’s not very easy for her to plan with me. I also don’t have any bride’s maids, just a gentleman of honor (if that’s what they’re called) my GOH is currently living in Switzerland, so even if he did care about dress shopping and such with me he can’t be here. It’s mostly me with a bit of input from my Fiance which really isn’t so bad because it means we’ll get the wedding we want. I love being able to ask the Bees for opinions and advice though 🙂
Post # 11
I am so glad you asked this. It is nice to know that someone else is encountering this, though I hope it has not been too stressful. I am mostly doing it on my own. There have been a couple of people who have offered to help, but I prefer to have a very tight-knit circle of people I let into the details of my life (sounds counter-intuitive to an online wedding forum, but I have truly found this site to be so supportive). I want my choices to be my own, hence I am taking lots of time to figure out my own style and what makes the two of us happy. If I get down about it, I shop for bridal stuff on my own or call a close friend of mine for support, since I am not very close with many family members. Some friends of ours are having a destination wedding, so it’s really cool that they have been able to keep it intimate, and they understand that the travel expenses have limited the guest list.
I would say find a beautiful backdrop for the ceremony, think about what is truly important to you, and don’t let others sway you, because for me, that is when I have had the most regret on purchases. The nice thing about having a smaller guest list is that, like beachbride said, the easier it is to plan, the more unique you can make it, and you can have a bit more play with how you would like to allocate spending in your budget. Plus, in my opinion, if people didn’t have a hand to offer in the planning process, they should refrain from making their opinion known if it is anything other than positive (napkin/tablecloth colors, decor, etc.) – there are a lot of great parties that I have seen on the internet that have been quaint, charming, and so endearing. Some people have even had a small ceremony, then a barbecue and lawn games. Also, I have noticed that when ladies ask for advice on the bee, ladies make every effort to be tactful and respectful, so that you can ultimately make your own choice. Plus, no one here ever seems to tire of wedding stuff!
Good luck to you, I hope that helps.
Post # 12
i have my mom and my future mil and thats it. i only have two brothers and no sister in laws. not having a bridal party is probably a big part of why no one else cares. none of my friends even seem interested at all in my engagement or wedding planning. even the ones that whose weddings ive been IN or considered myself BFFs with in the past, and helped along every step of the way with their weddings.
Post # 13
I have planned the entire wedding on my own with no help from any ladies family or not. I feel ya for sure. It was VERY hard to get started, but once I did finally start (by booking the minister) I just kept making decisions, checking with my fiance to see if he agreed (which he almost always did). I did put off wedding planning for about 6 months after our engagement….it was just so hard to get started. I guess b/c there was no one asking questions about wedding details. Online blogs/boards are helpful for ideas, random questions, and input. Our wedding will also be very simple and small, and now I am less than 30 days away. I am so excited to get married and cannot wait!
Post # 14
Thank you everyone for your input so far! This is very helpful. I am thankfully that there’s no drama for sure.
I do worry about the morning/day of though. I guess the photographer will zip up my dress, LOL>
@DarthBetty: Wedding twin! I do envy those who have people that can take care of some of the most expensive and difficult items (photographer, venue, etc).
Post # 15
Yes, I’m planning it on my own. My parents are a two days drive away and my bridesmaids are across the country from me. I’m also not having any showers thrown for me and likely not a bachelorette party either. This is due to distance and also having a destination wedding – it would feel weird to have a shower with people who can’t come to the wedding.
Our wedding is also going to be a small, intimate affair. Don’t be down about it, it doesn’t make it any less special 🙂 I know from watching other friends get married over the years, even though they may have a whole army of helpers and bridesmaids, it doesn’t always work out as well as it may sound. A lot of those people get sick and tired of hearing, talking and working on wedding related stuff. So it’s great you found the Bee, because you can talk to your hearts content on here and there will always be people who are interested!
Post # 16
@DarthBetty: lol, I want to see the beautiful wood bustwork in the bride and groom’s likeness! Please tell me this imaginary guy carves it with a chainsaw!