Post # 1
My mom is very sick and just got that way about 6 months ago. she is on a treatment for the next 3 months but they arent sure what she is sick with or whats causing it, so the treatment is just kinda taking a chance. my wedding is in 6 months in another state. I’m just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has had to plan their wedding without their mothers help. My mom is bed ridden and some days she cant even wake up. So I’ve tried to do most of my shopping online so that when she is awake enough to tell me her thoughts i can involve her. But it’s just hard. I didn’t get to do any dress trying on with her. I found a maggie sottero used for 250 online and bought it. She loves it and im happy i got to show her it and she likes it. But it’s just getting hard. She can’t help me with anything and i dont know what im doing! I know it could be worse and she could not be here at all. But taking care of her is getting hard. and trying to plan a wedding on top of it is harder. I tried to talk my parents into letting us postpone but the refuse. My mom wants it to happen when its supposed to happen.
Anyways, this is my rant. Anyone have any ways to cope with this? or any advice at all?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry, that’s awful! I know your parents said no to the postponement, but what about doing a small ceremony with them and then spending some extra time with her if it’s really stressing you out? You could always have a big event later.
I’m planning without my mom, but it’s by choice. We’ve never had similar taste, and we live in different cities. I showed her online pictures of the big ticket items (dress, venue) but she didn’t go with me to visit the venue and I ordered my dress offline. I was pretty clueless to start with, but read WeddingBee, Style Me Pretty, etc, until I kind of had an idea of what I was doing.
Good luck! Remember your wedding should be a happy day… don’t feel like you have to have a huge bash just because it’s traditional!
Post # 4
*Hugs* I lost my mom seven years ago and think of her constantly while planning. I know how it feels to be doing this on your own. I think it is sweet that she wants your wedding to go on as planned. Just take it one day at a time and remember to breathe. I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful and she will be thrilled just to be there.
Post # 5
I’m SO sorry that your mother is sick! I hope everything gets figured out soon and I pray for her health and recovery!
I’m planning our wedding without my mother, also but it’s not because of her health. My mother has been married three times and never once had an actual wedding (just a JOP thing). For the first few months after I got engaged, she never seemed to “want” to help me make decisions, etc. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that she was way to overwhelmed and had no clue about planning a wedding! I guess that I can understand, but it’s been hard to not be able to call her about exciting wedding things I come across.
I love the fact that your parents still want you to have your wedding on its original date. It’s so admirable of them! While I agree with lilyfaith about having a small ceremony with them, don’t you already have your venue locked in? If your mother isn’t better by the big day, maybe you should have a JOP ceremony with them and then do it all over for everyone else? That way your mom still gets to see you walk down and be announced.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry your mom is sick. My mother passed away when I was in high school so I was planning all of it without her. It is really tough. I hope your mother is around for your wedding though, that will make it all worth it.
Post # 7
I really hope she is around too. Which I think is why my parents won’t let us postpone it. The only thing we have actually paid on is the photographer. If my mom gets any worse then I think, regardless of their protest, that we will have a little ceremony where we live. We’re in mississippi and all of my mom’s family and my brother’s are in ohio. So it’s a little bit away. I want to include her because her wedding was not a big thing. it was almost like a courthouse wedding but at a church. just a few people. So before she got really bad I had just got engaged and she planned a tiny bit with me. I’m hoping things get better and that everything will work out. I just need some encouragement i guess. So thanks for listening and responding. it helps to be able to vent.
Post # 8
This is a duplicate post so I’m going to close it. If you want to respond and to see the other responses, please go here!