Post # 1
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
This morning, I walked into my dining room where we have kept the gifts from the wedding and like a child, I counted how many gifts there were…we received 8 gifts and 85 people showed up to the wedding reception (35 to the ceremony). 8 gifts…I don’t mean to sound greedy but they were gifts like: picture frame, a salad chiller, votive holders, etc.
also, we only received 5 cards, one of which had $50 in it.
I guess I’m just a little hurt and shocked… I would never walk into a wedding, with my date, without even a card. A lot of people who responded with +3 didn’t give a card. We barely made it by for a couple of months before the wedding so we could afford all these +1’s that we were not anticipating.
I know the economy is rough right now but everyone who came, has really great jobs. With alcohol being served all night, we paid $78 per person and some people left right after dinner without saying good bye. Now I’m wondering if its something I did but is this a little weird??
Wow, now reading through this post it sounds really greedy but I completely felt unloved by a lot of our guests 🙁 anyone else go through something like this??
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
i am so sorry! i cannot believe that happened to you. it almost seems like someone stole all the cards or something – it just seems so strange. i don’t think you sound greedy at all! people spend a lot of money on weddings, and most think they will at least get some of that back… more than $50 anyway!
Post # 4
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Um…I would be shocked by this. Doesn’t seem to balance out at all. I was mad because 3 guests didn’t bring anything. I couldn’t imagine almost all of them not bringing anything.
Post # 5
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee
@Heatherloveskenny: That doesn’t see right to me. Are you positive all the gifts got to you?
Post # 6
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
I would feel the same way you do and I don’t think your post sounds greedy at all. This ratio seems completely odd, especially the number of cards!
Post # 7
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
I don’t think you sound greedy, and I am totally not in the camp of all guests must bring gifts, but that ratio does seem very strange…. Do you think maybe something happened to some of the gifts?
Post # 8
Member
3342 posts
Sugar bee
This happened to me too. My shower was so pathetic I wished that I hadn’t even had one! We did receive a few cards the month after our wedding.
Post # 9
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
Did you have a lot of guests that had to travel? They may be sending a gift to your home.
It does seem a little surprising.
Post # 10
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
@Bostongrl25: Yeah I remember seeing the gifts on the gift table half way through the wedding and looking at DH, we were both surprised and just thought maybe we got a lot of gift cards or money but no, nothing.
my dad even went as far as calling 7 of siblings and telling them I was writing thank you’s and needed to know which gift was their’s (a few didn’t have cards on them)…my aunts and uncles didn’t even give gifts!
Post # 11
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
In terms of etiquette, guests technically have a year to send wedding gifts. I’ve never been to a wedding where more than a few people actually brought their gift to the wedding. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to try to transport 85 gifts back after the reception? More will probably trickle in over the next couple months.
Post # 12
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
You don’t sound greedy at all! I would be upset too however I’m expecting something similar. One side of my family isn’t really with it when it comes to etiquette and I imagine a lot of them won’t even think to bring gifts.
Post # 13
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
Wow thats awful imo – the bright side is you had a beautiful day and you married the partner of your dreams
Post # 14
Member
1759 posts
Buzzing bee
I know for the few weddings I’ve been to, almost no presents were brought to the wedding itself. Most were sent directly to the couple, and usually after the wedding! So, give it some time–but you’re right, it is odd.
Post # 15
Member
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am also wondering with that many guests, if you didn’t receive all of the gifts that were given. Maybe check with some of your wedding party and/or family members to see if they packed some up for you and were going to give them to you later. The only thing that happened to us was that one couple (that was already drunk when they arrived) gave us $20.00 and they also wrote some very lude comments on one of our well wish cards (we shredded that card because it was so disgusting). Oh and he made an unscheduled toast about nothing to do with us. It was sad because they were supposed to be very close to my hubby and when they got married, we gave them a gift worth almost $400.00. They are very well off, so we kind of wondered about it, but I sent them a very nice thank you note anyway. I let my hubby read it and he said that he wouldn’t have been as nice with the thank you.
Post # 16
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
@JoJo Bananas: Okay, nice to know I am not alone!!
All of the gifts given were from the obvious people who would give gifts, 3 sets of grandparents, my mom’s side of siblings, a couple of very wealthy cousins…the rest of the guests who came, were DH’s side, and our friends.
@babylou: we only had a couple people travel and they didn’t give gifts since they paid to fly up to see our wedding…which was fine. we were happy to have them there.
get this though, my aunt booked our hotel room for the night of the wedding as her gift to us and her card didn’t go through because she put a $150 max for us to spend on our room. Cheapest room was $190 and they said they could transfer the $150 if they could get her on the phone BUT she didn’t pick up that night. And she was completely wasted at the wedding and told me marriage is a lie.