(Closed) Anyone else scared of flying?

posted 6 years ago in Travel
Post # 3
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I have always said to people, in a car/train/bus crash there’s always a chance I could  survive, in an airplane crash, NO CHANCE, whatsoever… you DIE!

I know this is not a helpful post and your fiance will probably want to strangle me…. HeeHee 

Post # 4
8396 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yep, I hate flying. I travelled all the time with my family when I was a kid and it never bothered me, but every time I fly I swear I get more anxious. Go to your doctor and express your concerns – most likely they’ll give you some xanax or something. They hear this all the time.

Post # 5
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Terrified beyond belief and I have to do it for work about 6-8 times a year. I usually end up on the phone with my fiance or my mom in tears while waiting on the gate (very professional!).  My next work trip isn’t scheduled until June – and there hasn’t been a plane crash for a while – for some reason recent plane crashes make me feel better because “it just happened, so it won’t happen again so soon.”  It’s irrational and ridiculous, but I always think of the newspaper headlines before I get on a plane.

I also refuse to fly long distances over water — and turn down a yearly work trip to London, much to the dismay of my boss.

Have you talked to your doctor about this? She prescribes Antivert to me, it really does calm the nerves…I have no idea how, but it makes your mind not be able to focus on one. One of those and a rum and coke on the plane do wonders.

Post # 6
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I will say to you how my mother tells me…

If God wanted me to fly he would have born me with wings..!

I don’t think I would make it on an airplane, just driving freaks me out I couldnt imagine an airplane (good thing I dont travel I guess haha)

And if the event comes up that I will have to fly one day… I will live in the bathroom because my stomach will be upside down because of stress and fear

Post # 7
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I have such a weird relationship with flying. I love it, I love that I get places faster, but I am afraid of it. I always wear a necklace that Fiance gave me, and I always pray before the flight takes off. I have been flying about once a month to go visit Fiance. Thankfully, it isn’t a very long flight. I’m usually okay when we get to the point where we can turn on electronics. If there’s any bump, I get nervous!

  I have read reports that Southwest is one of the safest airlines to fly, so I try to book when them. There is also some sort of app that somebody designed to help you not be as afraid of flying. I haven’t tried it yet.

@happyface:  I completely agree! I say the exact same thing.

Post # 8
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am a little bit scared of flying, I especially dont like landing and takeoffs in very small planes, but I love visiting new places so I usually just hope the plane will be big and then I take lots of snacks and books to distract myself.

Post # 9
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I hate flying too. I have to do it a couple of times a year and even though I love traveling, the fear of flying is only getting worse. Just know you’re not alone!

Post # 10
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence

I’m not scared of flying, per se, but I’m a very nervous flyer. I death grip the seat on takeoff and landing and I usually have some litany of please don’t crash please don’t crash please don’t crash going in my head. Flying into the Toronto island airport is the absolute worst.

Anyway, I can’t realistically get around the need to fly because a) it’s the only way for me to get out of here fast and b) Mr. D’s family is full of pilots, the kind that fly little tiny bush planes that land on lakes (SCARY).

My method of dealing has been to have my own little rituals that make me feel safe — the things I tell myself in my head, that kind of thing. I also pay close attention to the people around me, because if we hit a patch of turbulence and I’m the only one freaking out, it’s probably actually not as bad as I think it is.

I second going to a doctor to discuss anti-anxiety meds — and, if you’re flying within Canada, you should fly Porter because they give you free booze, which really helps in my opinion. 😉

Post # 11
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Flying makes me nervous too, but I think it is just because I hate the feeling of taking off. Also, I am always worried about who I am going to have to sit by. I’ve been on a plane where people got sick. I would not be able to handle someone getting sick next to me.

In a few weeks I am going to have to fly by myself for the first time. I am VERY nervous about it! I would feel much better if it were non-stop, but it’s not.

Even though air travel can be nerve racking, think about all of the beautiful places you will miss out on. That helps me at least. You could bring a few movies that may help you to not think about it.

Post # 12
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I hate flying. Really hate it. I managed to avoid it for about 4 years altogether, but then my relationship became a long distance one and flying is something I had to do if I wanted to keep my relationship intact. So I learned a couple of things that make me feel better.

I always pick a seat by the window that is within a couple of rows from the exit row. If someone else sits in the window seat then I feel claustophobic if they close the window cover. If i’m in the seat I have control. If there is a problem I can access the emergency exit quickly which also makes me feel less trapped.

I like to get to the gate early, so I can watch my plane land and people get off. This means that the plane was just flying! It should still be able to fly when I get on it because it was already doing it that day!

Once I am on the plane the thing I find most comforting is the pilot also has a family she loves at home. If things go awry she is going to be trying her best to get back to them as well. She has an interest in keeping this thing in the air!

Post # 13
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My fear was MUCH worse than it is now, but I fly a tad bit more than I did before!  I absolutely detest take-off, and usually after awhile (if the flight is longer) I get a bit more relaxed.  Landing excites me, even though it is the most dangerous part, but hey, the closer to the ground I am, the better.

Music has helped immensely.  If I cannot hear the sounds on the plane, then I think about what I am doing less.  Sometimes if luggage shifts below, and I hear a thud, I am convinced we are ‘going down’.  Or when it sounds like the engines gave out…forget it!

I also watch the flight attendants.  If they are up and moving/serving drinks, look calm, etc, then we must be a-ok.  They fly ALL THE TIME, and they are still alive, right?! 

It seems so unreasonable to be afraid of something that is extremely ‘safe’, but here we are!  Oh, AND, as weird as it sounds, I am calmer if I am sitting next to someone who is just as scared.  I usually end up being the one calming them down, and telling them that noises are ‘normal’, we will be ‘fine’, and kinda forget about my own fears!!  VERY STRANGE!!

Post # 14
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@happyface:  That’s the EXACT same thought process I use!

I LOVE to travel, and that love gets me on planes. But I hate it. I’m always convinced I’m 5 seconds away from dying a horrible death. We are also going to Hawaii for our honeymoon….5-6 hour plane ride to LA, and then several hours past that…

The reality is that the likelihood of a plane crashing really is .000000001. Or something crazy like that.

Just do what I do….I take a xanax or I drink heavily before the flight!

Post # 16
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think this fear is way more common, and I always wonder how many other people on the plane are also scared.

I dealt with a major fear of flying.  I was never scared as a kid.  Cognitive behavioral therapy and bio feedback therapy worked for me.  For CBT, I basically separate the irrational, scared, panicky part of me from a calm, intelligent, rational part of me.  Then I hold a conversation in my head between the two people until the smart one convinces the panicking one that there’s no reason to panic.  Sort of like a long drawn out conversation you might have with a therapist.  Sounds like I’m nuts, but it works really well. 

For bio feedback, I practiced before flights visualizing myself going through the motions of flying (arriving at airport, waiting to board, sitting in seat, takeoff), and I made note of my physical symptoms.  If I noticed a negative symptom (stomach in knots, heart racing, etc) I would challenge it to get worse, or rate it on a scale of 1-10.  Then I relaxed and visualized calming things while tapping my elbow.  Then I practiced visualizing the flying, but while tapping my elbow.  I think there’s a few youtube videos that can demonstrate this better than I can.

Lastly, listening to my iPod is a godsend, especially if you said you are bothered by the noises.  So is sitting over the wing and/or closer to the front.  Sitting in the back is more motion for me which increases my queasiness/stomach knots. 


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