Post # 1
I don’t consider myself terribly shy, however I am definitely more shy than the average person, and I tend to especially feel this wat around my future in laws. It’s not that I can’t talk to them about anything, I just get flustered for some reason when a conversation of any real substance comes up, ESPECIALLY with my future mother in law. She is a very bubbly–talkative–person who has no problem expressing her opinions emphatically lol, very opposite of me. But it’s almost like her way of conversating brings out the shyness in me even more, especially if I disagree with her about something, and I don’t even mean big things I mean like we were at the grocery store and I got rice and she said “such and such is better are you sure you want that one?” lol it sounds so silly but it makes me feel steam rolled, and I know it’s totally me and my personality and not her. Anyways can anyone relate? And how has this affected you now that you’re married? I’d like to think that I’ll get to a more comfortable “family” level with her :/
Post # 3
I am. His parents live out of state, so we only see them twice a year or so. I think I’ve gotten better & opened up more over the years though.
Post # 4
Lol sometimes I think my Future Mother-In-Law wishes I was more shy around her 😛 I think I have the opposite problem – when my Future Mother-In-Law starts talking, she can be a little intimidating which makes me nervous and then I just keep talking the more flustered I get. I think the key is to just spend time with them. And overtime, you (and i lol) will hopefully just start to feel more comfortable.
Post # 5
I was at first, but they’ve made it clear to me that they are thrilled that Fiance and I are together and that they really like me as a person. They’re really sweet people, and they put me at ease.
Does your Future Mother-In-Law seem to have any problem with people disagreeing with her? If you haven’t noticed that behavior in her at all, I’d say you’ll probably be able to express a differing opinion without causing any conflict.
Give it time 🙂
Post # 6
I’m 100% comfortable around my inlaws. They’ve always gone out of their way to make me feel like part of the family, and I love spending time with them. My Future Mother-In-Law calls me all the time just to talk, and she’s a very fun lady! I guess I lucked out!
Post # 7
I was shy. I think I kind of still have a reserved way of being and we’ve been together for 9 years! It’s gotten a lot better and I’ve felt it’s gotten easier to open up and be me more and more. It’s just that I don’t spend quality time with his family like I would with mine so that family comfort isn’t there completely. Also his sister in laws are good friends and have so much in common and I’m just younger and don’t have as much in common with them so family get togethers usually have them sitting around really chatty and I just hang with my husband. Also I’m so much different than all of them. I come from a very different background, have a very different sense of humor. I grew up in a more laid back environment and his family is more proper. So I used to always worry that I’d come off wrong. Now a days I think they’ve known me long enough to see me as the sincere person I am no matter what quirky things I goof off and say. Also…I truly do adore his family. His mom is great! and I felt compelled to let her know that and wrote her a note at Christmas time. I let her know how important she was to me and I let her know that even though I never say it…I truly do love her. She called me (a bit teary eyed) after she read it and said she was gonna keep the note forever. She said no one has ever done something like that for her and she loved us all so very much. I think it was a major turning point for us. I am that type of person though. I am too shy to say it in person but feel compelled to make sure people are aware of how much they mean to me. One thing…I make sure I keep my difference in opinions to myself. I’m there to enjoy family time and not express differences.
Post # 8
I’m terribly shy around my Mother-In-Law & Father-In-Law, less so around my husband’s brother and his wife. It takes me a while to be comfortable around people, and honestly, his mom kind of scares me a bit. I’d say it’s gotten better since we’ve gotten married, since I know they are FAMILY now and there isn’t anything they or I can do about it lol! It really isn’t bad, I just am an akward person and I feel weird around them sometimes, but I do know they like me, and like you said OP, it really is my personality that I take things far too personally, and think they may not like me, etc. Best advice I can give is continue to be polite and warm to them, and show your in-laws what a great catch you are 🙂
Also, I totally get the steamrolled feeling. My Mother-In-Law tried to tell me how her cat was not allowed to do the things my cat does, and it annoyed me so much! LOL! I can’t imagine what kind of opinions she will have about our future kids! :p
Post # 9
I am the same as you very shy with them, my future in laws have a lot of opinions so I usually just keep my mouth shut..
Post # 10
I used to be kind of shy around them, but my in-laws are great, down-to-earth people, and now I’m totally comfortable around them. I think you might feel a little more comfortable once you guys are married and “officially” family. 🙂
Post # 11
I used to be, but our condo building was condemned after a major snow storm and we had to move in with them for a few months, so I really had no choice but to get over it!
Post # 12
I can’t stand my inlaws, and Fiance knows this. Every time I am around his mother, I am made to feel that I am not good enough for him. They have even told me that “his life with you will never be as good as his life when he was living here.” So, when we do meet, I try to avoid them as much as possible, and not talk, but not because Im shy – its because I’m in avoidance maneuvers. Living in a different state def helps, and in a few months, we’re moving farther away – it will then be a 6 hour drive.
Post # 13
I’m shy around them because they talk mainly about family members and politics, neither of which I know much about. I often feel kind of clueless on their interests and just smile and nod. Lately Mother-In-Law has been saying some really hateful things behind my back, and of course people are gonna tell me. Now I feel more awkward than ever around them.
Darling Husband has opened up a lot to my parents, though. They always keep his favorite soda on hand and we’ll come over for dinner or booze sometimes. It’s hard for us to see them right now because they live in the woods and he has intense allergies, but I think he enjoys visiting normally.
Post # 14
I’m definitely in the same boat. It’s been like this with every relationship I’ve had. The good thing is that the more time I spend with FI’s family, the more comfortable I feel around them.
Post # 15
Yea, I kinda feel that way. Especially around my Future Father-In-Law
Post # 16
I was at first just because of our age difference. Now it’s been over 5 years and while I can be a little standoffish to some family in law members, I get along well and have a good time with most of them.