Post # 1
For my first wedding, I got thrown into the ceiling of the venue during the chair part of the hora & hit my head on the ceiling hard. Yup! That happened. I should have taken it as a sign that marriage wasn’t going to work. It really ruined my night. I obviously don’t want a repeat this time around. Is anyone skipping the hora? Can I just do the circle dance without the chairs?
Post # 3
I am doing a first dance with my fiance because it’s important to him. I am doing a father-daughter dance because it is important to him. And that is all the dancing I will participate in, period.
I am not dancing in circles. I am not going up in a chair. If people don’t like it, tough.
Post # 4
NOT doing the hora. NO way. no how.
Post # 5
What a timely posting! My fiance and I are strongly opposed to getting lifted in chairs — I did it at my Bat Mitzvah, and I find it terrifying and not fun, and I expect it will be even harder to hold onto the chair in a wedding dress. He also doesn’t want to do it. We have been planning on doing the Hora without the chairs, just spreading the word to the male relatives that they shouldn’t grab chairs. But now that the wedding is close, I’m afraid that won’t work and we’ll feel pressured to do it.
Has anyone here actually succeeded in doing the Hora without the chairs, or did you get guilted into doing it with chairs? Ugh.
Post # 6
Unfortunately, the hora is the one thing my SO is adament about happening. I do have a fear of open heights (put me on top of the CN tower observation deck and I’m fine, put me on a 4 foot step ladder, and I get uncomfortable). He said even if we tried not having one, it would happen. I just decided to pick the people that would be lifting my chair ahead of time, so I feel slightly safer. I’ve got a trainer paramedic and a trained fire fighter picked out so far.
Post # 7
Hm, maybe you can clear this up for me. From reading the many postson here about the hora, I’m getting the feeling that the couple decides they want an hora. Is that correct?
I always understood as something the attendants decide and the couple goes along for the ride. If it’s something that can be scheduled or added to the list of things to do at a reception, then that gives me new perspective. I’m not a big fan of it because of my Fiance. If this is possible, it will definitely be something I will ask about in my next premarital counseling meeting with the rabbi. How do you designate who’s going to lift the chair, etc., if you have any control over that?
Post # 8
I think like anything else with your wedding, the bride and the groom get the final say. Maybe they thinking the circling in the ceremony is stupid, so they don’t want it done. Maybe they think listening to wedding speeches is boring, so they don’t want any at their reception. That kind of thing. If you let the DJ, your parents, your bridal party, the coordinator, and maybe some of your closest friends know in advance that you do not want one… then it won’t be an issue. Hopefully, they’d respect your choices.
If you want one, I’d recommend scheduling it like right after the entrance/introduction as the couple, when people aren’t as drunk.
And I would find the biggest, buffest, strongest guys on your guest list and tell them, “look, there’s this scary dance you’ve probably seen, where people are lifted in chairs. I’m really scared I’ll fall, so I want you to be one of my chair guys. If you could stick REALLY close to me at the entrance of the reception to be one of the guys that lifts me, that would make me feel so much better.” blah blah blah.
Post # 9
If anyone is really scared but is still interested in doing it (and I recommend it — I had a ton of fun), I found that having a chair with arms helped immensely.
Post # 10
Maybe if there’s a seatbelt involved?
Haha, if I fall, I fall, just don’t let my dress go over my head!
Post # 11
Your band can probably play a shortened version – that is what we had originally specified, without chairs. Later in the planning, we felt that we might regret not being lifted in the chairs, so we still did a shorter version but we were lifted in the chairs – just us, and no parents. The wedding planner told the band to wind it up as soon as we were down on the ground and her staff came and removed chairs as he switched to another song.