Post # 1
I’ll start by saying that if we really wanted, I could stay home. We could make FI’s salary work for us, tons of people live on far less. That said, it seems stupid to. Why would we choose to live on $50K when we have the option of $125K with me working? And I like my job and my job likes me. But I just found out yet another friend isn’t going back to work after having her baby. And I’m soooo jealous.
Anyone else feel that way? Any breadwinners make the choice to stay home even though it meant a huge reduction to your household income?
Post # 3
@MrsSmitty: I am the breadwinner in our marriage. While staying at home does look appealing and I do get envious of those that do from time to time, I am quickly jolted back to long-term reality. What happens when the kids go to school or the husband loses his job? Stay at home moms have a very hard if not impossible time continuing where they left off in their careers should they have to go back to work. I worked and struggled too hard to risk losing my career in the end.
Post # 4
@MrsSmitty: We are in the exact same boat. We could do it but why would we? The lifestyle that being DINKs affords us is not something I am willing to give up. I’m lucky that I can work from home sometimes, but I’d love to be home full time…and not working, lol. I know couples who live on less but I’m not interested in being frugal and not being able to do/have what I want.
Post # 5
+1. There’s that, too. I have an MBA and have worked hard to get the career I have. I am not willing to give that up, lose traction, or be dependent on anyone else for money. I simply couldn’t function that way.
Post # 6
@MrsSmitty: I couldn’t be a stay at home anything and I have never been jealous of those who are. I would feel bored, useless and cut off from the world. Espcially having post-secondary education and then deciding to stay at home? Waste of money on an education if they aren’t going to use it. I like working and my career too much to just sit at home all day haha
Post # 7
@MrsSmitty: I’m jealous right now because I’m back at work after vacation. Haha. But honestly no I’m not jealous. I love my job and since I live in Canada I get a year off when I have a baby. I think that will be enough. Also I grew up with a working mom and really think it’s important for women to work. She was a stay at home mom really briefly after my sister was born and said you think you’ll have a lot of free time but actually you don’t and all the household stuff automatically becomes your responsibility.
Post # 8
@MrsSmitty: just chiming in with a different perspective. I am not the bread winner, but have a masters degree and a career that I love. That being said, I would give that up (along with the extras that dual salaries gives us) to stay home when we have kids. my tune may change as time goes along, but my mother gave up her career for 10 years to raise her children, and I cant imagine having my childhoos any other way. she found work in a similar job when she was ready to go back. Not the same as her previous job, but she didnt regret her choice.
Post # 9
I have never been jealous of someone who got to stay at home. I have had people who “felt bad for me” that I had to work turn around and feel bad that they stalled their careers now that we are a few years from having our first child. But I worked super hard for my J.D. and am not trying to undo all that hard work.
Post # 10
Ugh, not at all. I respect SAHMs, but that lifestyle is not desireable to me in the least. I am not a homebody and staying in the house for even just one entire day drives me CRAZY. I worked really hard in college and paid off LOTS of student loans – I didn’t do all of that to sit at home. Not only that, but my parents raised me to never financially depend on ANYONE (people divorce, people get laid off, people get hurt and can’t work, etc) so its just ingrained in me to make my own money (even though DH and I share a bank account). I still want to contribute to our life financially and I would feel so uncomfortable spending money if I weren’t making any.
We have talked about it and if one of us has to stay home with our future child then it would be my DH.
Post # 11
I’ve been on maternity leave for almost 3 months and I’m dying to go back to work. I feel guilty about it and although i love him so mich, I’m not enjoying spending 24/7 taking care of my baby 🙁
Post # 12
I’m pregnant and I thought I’d always like to stay at home but once I got pregnant I really didn’t want to. I just don’t want to give up what I’ve worked for and what has taken so long. And I like making money! Plus I think I might go crazy not having adult interaction or having something else to do.
I think now, the only way I would consider it is if DH made $200k or more. I’d need an amount where my additional salary really wouldn’t matter much. I’m not interested in choosing to live (super) frugally in order to stay at home. I like my job, so I’d rather work and have more money.
Maybe I’ll change my mind once I have the baby though, but it’s not looking like it so far.
Post # 13
I would love to be able to stay home with the kids, and it wouldn’t be impossible on SO’s salary since he makes a very good living. However, I’m the kind of person who really lacks a sense of security, and the idea that if something happened to him the entire family would be screwed is just too scary for me. Plus why live on less money when we could have more of it? I make a decent living too and though it’s not even half what SO makes, that extra bit means extra savings (which equals extra security), more fun money, and just a much better life in general.
If either of us had a massive trust fund/won the lottery and could afford to live on the interest/investment dividends alone? I’d be all over it, LOL.
Post # 14
My husband (not my girls’ dad) and I both worked. We don’t have a house payment so we are more than able to get by on his income alone. I stopped working in November and I now stay home with my girls, ages 4 and 6. It is such a different world.
I had been working since I was 16. I am now 26 and this is the first time I have ever been without a job. It is amazing to be able to get my daughter involved in activities that I could never put her in before with my work schedule. I am able to help with homework now, since I’m not still working until 10pm.
There are days when I deeply miss working, but right now, my focus is on my girls and it has been increased stability for them so I’m not looking back.
Post # 15
i’m insanely jealous of stay at home moms!!! we will likely never have that luxury, unfortunately, but i genuinely believe i would love it. i’m not in a career related to my education so i may feel differently if that were the case. i might consider part time work in my actual field once i have children since i would probably make the same in 3 days that i do full time in my current career. but i enjoy my current career more so who knows! i’m glad i don’t have any stay at home mom friends because i would probably try to murder them and take over their lives.
Post # 16
Also, I must add that my very favourite thing about adulthood is earning a salary, and being able to buy myself what I want (even if I have to save up for it), whereas I remember birthdays and Christmas being my whole world as a kid because I had no income. So I don’t think I’d want to give that up either!