(Closed) Anyone else switched gears in the middle of planning?

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I had my heart on a destination wedding in Cabo San Lucas.  I wanted an intimate wedding with my closest friends and family – no more than 20 ppl.  We had circulated the idea widely amongst friends and family well in advance and had received positive feedback. 

However, when I started researching on the destination wedding the cost was insane per person (food and alcohol alone were quoted as high as $350…not including facility rental and minimum hotel rooms needing to be booked).  My small intimate wedding was slowly becoming a logistical nightmare and pricey for everyone!

People have very different opinions on destination weddings…some understand, while some do not and consider it very selfish of the couple.  A friend revealed to me that people will be supportive to your face about the destination wedding, but could be resentful forever if you chose an expensive location. I have also heard many complaints from other people when they mention their destination wedding experiences, especially the singletons – they are asked to travel by themselves and if it is a wedding where they do not know a lot of ppl, it’s essentially traveling to some paradise alone and feeling alone.  

I caved to peer pressure and switched gears to a hometown wedding – it was only until we announced having a local wedding that the same people who told us they were all excited to go to Cabo confessed that they were stressed about paying for the flight, accommodations, etc and relieved we were having a local wedding.

I think one big consideration is the amount of time you have to "switch gears" – I had a lot of lead time so I was able to wean myself off of my dream wedding on the beach and knowing that people wouldn’t be forever resentful by "obligating them" to spend lots of money.

Good luck with your decision and remember, enjoy the planning experience…it will always work out in the end!

Post # 4
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We are 2 months away, and within the past week we changed:
the ceremony location AND the reception location, got rid of the caterer and the bartender.

Sometimes things just change….you gotta go with the flow!

Post # 5
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We were originally set to get married on NYE but due to a medical situation that arose with Fi’s mom, we changed our date about 6 months before the wedding.(Mind you, we had almost EVERYTHING done! So much for the early bird catches the worm!)

Because of this, we had to change our entire theme and almost everything about the wedding. I had a serious time period where I truly grieved the loss of our wedding and all of the NYE things we were planning on doing. We changed the photographer (just bc we didn’t like him after he did the engagement photos), the linens, the favors, the flowers, the centerpieces, the colors, the invitations, AND the guest list. So, I totally hear you on how hard it is.

You know what made it way better though? Realizing I actually liked our NEW theme, flowers, linens, photographer, centerpieces, colors, and invitations SO MUCH MORE! I no longer grieve the loss of our original wedding- I’m so grateful we got to change everything!! My advice would be to pick something new that you love equally, if not more, than your Cabo idea. If that is Wyoming, go for it girl! Get knee deep in the fun of planning a WY wedding!! You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to switch gears once you fall in love with your new plans. Good luck!

Post # 6
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

DEFINITELY feel you on this one.

I thought I had my wedding plans ironed out a month ago. I reserved a space for an 80-guest wedding and reception on 10/10/10. I signed the paperwork and thought everything was ready to go. Until my mother heard how much everything was going to cost and her head exploded.

Of course, this is my wedding and had I really wanted to go ahead with the original plans I would have. But my mother made a couple of good points which got me realizing that it was indeed a LOT of money we were planning to spend. Money we could put towards other things in the future. So we decided to shrink the wedding to 35 guests which made the cost much more manageable. So manageable that we moved the wedding up an entire YEAR. 

Even after all that retooling, the idea of running off to some tropical beach and eloping is EXTREMELY temping. Not to mention much more budget-friendly. If our tour of the ceremony/reception site on Friday doesn’t work out, there’s a good possibility that our plans will change AGAIN… 🙂

Post # 7
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yep, we made a huge change! We were planning on a Jan 2010 wedding, snowflake theme, very understated silver and navy color scheme, very formal. I started the basic planning (even making a couple of purchases) well before the proposal, so I had been planning for almost a year on this theme. Then at the beginning of the year he got an amazing job offer… 1000 miles away. Neither of us wanted to be that far apart for a whole year, so we moved the wedding up to this May! Gah! I went from a year to plan to 4 months, and changed *everything.* Different location, much more casual, daisy and butterfly theme, tons of color everywhere, yeah. It’s a huge changed, with SO little time to throw together, but it’s been a ton of fun! I love the new look, and honestly think I’ll be a lot happier with this, and it’s cheaper. So if you need to change it, do it! It’s hard, and you do kind of mourn your old wedding plan, but it’s totally worth it if it lowers your stress levels. And a ton of fun!

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