(Closed) anyone else think the one year to gift “rule” is stupid?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Do you believe it is OK to give a gift up to a year after a wedding?
    Yes : (23 votes)
    34 %
    No : (44 votes)
    66 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    I think the rule exists because the gifts are given to congratulate you on your marriage not just for the occasion of your wedding?  I don’t know.  But in your case, getting a gift a year after would be frustrating because you can’t use a honeymoon registry after you’re back from the honeymoon!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I too think the year thing is stupid.  Really, I think it just makes it easier for people to stiff you.  Who’s going to be thinking about keeping tabs on stuff like that a YEAR later?  If you can’t afford to give anything at the time of the wedding, send a nice card and call it a day.  Don’t make us both pretend you’re going to send something along in another 10 months.

    Post # 5
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    No I don’t think it’s OK. I personally think it’s silly. I can see maybe up to a month after the wedding if you couldn’t make the wedding. But if you are attending a wedding I think it’s silly to wait until later to send a gift. I’d either bring it to the wedding or if the Bride and Groom are traveling I’d send it before or right after the wedding. I agree it’s a weird silly rule. But I guess some people stick by it. weird.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’ll admit it, too, I think it’s a stupid rule!

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I agree that it’s stupid.  If you can’t buy a gift, just bring a card to the reception!

    Post # 9
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Ooops I voted wrong, meant NO sorry!

    Post # 11
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’ve actually read up on the origins of this rule – it is actually QUITE outmoded. 100 years ago, couples would go on honeymoons that took several months or even longer to complete (travel by boat to other continents, etc) so back THEN guests had up to a year because the couple was likely still away. Even then it was better form to gifts to the couple earlier rather than later, hence the other outmoded tradition of “gifts received” cards, but I digress. All modern etiquette books agree with you that in this day and age there is really no excuse for up to a year – the Emily Post Foundation has updated this in all their literature. Hope this makes you feel better!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    It’s been seven months since our wedding, and we still haven’t received gifts from guests who used the “We have a year!” rule. I’m pretty sure we’ll never see anything from them, which is fine … whatever. It’s just weird that they would claim they have so long.

    I actually looked this up because I had never heard of it before, and according to Emily Post, she said three months after the wedding, which seems a LOT more reasonable to me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with the rule. Any gift you give is in celebration of the marriage, not the wedding itself. In this day and age I would be shocked if anyone gave me a gift that long out, but I would still be happy to receive it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee

    gifts aren’t a requirement… 

    Post # 15
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I guess I’m a horrible person then because I once waited almost 5 months to give a gift to dear friends of mine.  My best friends wedding was the week before theirs and I was broke from being Maid/Matron of Honor in a destination wedding, not only could I not afford to go to their wedding (which they totally understood as it was also far away for me) I  couldn’t afford to give them a gift at the time…and then Christmas was right after and I was broke from that…and then, finally, I could afford to give them something nice!  So I sent them a gift and they loved it because it gave them a chance to reflect back on their wedding (or so they said!).

    I did feel really guilty though 🙂 

    Post # 16
    Member
    555 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I was just looking at etiquette stuff via the emily post site, and her granddaughters or great granddaughters in law or whoever the heck they are say this is no way no how acceptable etiquette any more and it should be done before or at the wedding. For what it’s worth.

    The topic ‘anyone else think the one year to gift “rule” is stupid?’ is closed to new replies.

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