(Closed) Anyone else waiting to ttc (and it's killing you)?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We aren’t getting married until April and are desperately trying to wait until at least the wedding day….but I have baby fever so badly right now. And since my son is about to turn 5 and then head off to school next fall I am ready for another baby in the house. Just hang in there you will get through it, but waiting is definitely hard

Post # 4
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yup baby fever over here too! We won’t start trying until we get married next year. I am so ready now but it’s smart to wait until after the wedding. Boo!

Post # 6
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Yup, baby fever here. I know in my heart that we arent ready financially but we hope to be ready next Fall. The wait it killing me though. Literally on our wedding day people started asking when are we having kids, and I get asked several times a week so that doesnt help either.

I’m really going to try to focus on me over the next year to take my mind off of baby stuff. I am taking a class in February, working on and getting healthier. And hope to plan a few small vacations for Darling Husband and I since we wont be able to do that much after we have a baby.

Now I am going to pin stuff to my secret babies board on Pinterest 😉

Post # 7
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I wrote a post on the same thing a couple months ago, but I don’t have a timeline.  I don’t know how Darling Husband would feel about setting one (besides saying, “in a couple years”) because he’s so fly by the seat of his pants.  The baby fever comes and goes, but lately its been really bad (maybe because I haven’t been happy at work and will be a Stay-At-Home Mom when we have kids).

Sometimes I wish we would have an “oopsie” within the next year because I’m scared Darling Husband will never be ready to actually try.  Might bring it up again in the new year…

Post # 8
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

YES!  We’ve been married since August, and don’t plan to TTC until 2014.  Right now I’m in school, and have two more semseters and a semester of student teaching.  And he wants to wait until we are closser to buying a house.  I understand why we are waiting, but it still sometimes sucks.  I’ve been stalking the TTC boards a little, I should stop that!  I am going to try to focus on getting healthier, and other self imporvements before we start trying.  

Post # 9
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d like to ttc starting 2 years from now, so that by the time baby comes we’ll have passed our 3 year anniversary and be at an age I think would be great to have a first baby (27). But it is hard to wait with ppl. around you having adorable babies. But I know Darling Husband and I are enjoying being selfish and just doing what we like as newlyweds for now. But I’m so excited to pull the goalie and start trying. Another lesson in patience I guess.  Waiting to get engaged…waiting to get married…waiting to have a baby…I’m doing a lot of waiting. I need to just live in the moment I think!

Post # 10
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Yes…

 

I’m getting older. My brother and sister-in-law are in their early 30s and have been trying for over a year – so they’re clinically infertile. My SIL has not told me this – my brother did. They think that her fallopian tubes may be too small, and it’s causing her eggs to get damaged, but that’s only theory. They can’t find anything else wrong with her. They were going to test my brother. I haven’t heard yet if they ever did – I don’t ask them any questions like that. If he brings it up, of course I offer my support. 

But it’s a wake-up call when a couple in their very early 30s is having trouble conceiving. 

But there are 3 other more important reasons why we’re waiting:

1. I need to lose 40 pounds. I’m not wildly fat (I can fit into a size 12 here and there), but heavy enough. I am otherwise in good health – vegetarian diet (which isn’t code for “I eat chocolates all day instead of meat!”), lots of physical activity, etc. I really just don’t feel like getting crap from a doctor. Admittedly, my experiences are shaded by heavier relatives who were given grief throughout their pregnancies, even when their weight gain wasn’t significant.

2. We still live in a one-bedroom apartment. We’ve been house-hunting for 5 months. His standards are a little too high, in my opinion. If it meets our basic criteria (2 toilets, 3 bedrooms, has a driveway, a basement, etc.) and it looks up-to-date, I’m happy. It has to “grab” him. *eye roll* What that means is…our search just winds up getting prolonged, then eventually he admits that we should’ve bid on the house. 

I don’t want to risk conceiving and BELIEVE that we will have a house by the time I deliver. Or, at best, it would rush us into a 2-bedroom apartment, only to continue house-hunting and probably move again shortly after getting another apartment.

3. Oh. We aren’t married. While we’re not religious and it wouldn’t be a big deal to me to conceive just before the wedding, my in-laws are and they’re very conservative. I’ve rarely felt more uncomfortable than when I’m in the presence of GIL, Mother-In-Law and SIL because they’re all very pushy and judgmental. 

I honestly think my patience would be too tested to sit quietly if they said something insulting about the conception. Mother-In-Law has already said some insulting things about us living together.

I’m not an utter prude and I love a good, dirty joke. I’m not so sure if my in-laws are the audience for that (well, I am sure). If we were closer, maybe I’d just shrug, laugh awkwardly and ignore some of their commentary. But we aren’t. We’re very different people who have to socialize periodically. 

I always get the impression that they hate that I’ve come along to a function – you know, tolerate me at best. The times I find an excuse not to go (which is quite rare), they’re lavishing me with, “So glad you could come!” or “Glad you could make it this time! Was so nice seeing you!” like I never visit. 

 

Other than that, we’re both onboard. It helps that the ol’ fiance is turning 30 himself next year. Almost all of his co-workers are married and have children. I remember the times he would come home from work, talking about a particular co-worker’s life…and I could see the envy there. 

He doesn’t want to wait. We’ll probably start around May next year. By then, I should be at the very top of a healthy BMI (unless of course we don’t have a house). 

 

Post # 11
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes! Thats me! Our wedding is April 2013 and I of course want to wait until after that but I also have to wait until we get our own house. We currently live with his parents and I REFUSE to have a child while still living in there home..it’s just not going to happen. So now I have to wait a bit longer but my goal is to be pregnant by 2014 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

YES. Baby fever has been steadily increasing since about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. It was terrible in the fall, so I started a “pre-baby bucket list”. It sounds kind of crazy, but it’s helped quite a bit. Every time the ol’ ovaries start aching, I try to go back and look at this nice rational list of things I’d really like to accomplish/experience/check-off before I become a mom. I also started researching how much things like childcare and general baby stuff costs, so that kind of deterred me too. 

Ultimately, I’d be thrilled if we got pregnant right now. It wouldn’t be IDEAL financially, but we could totally make it work. However, I just keep telling myself…if I can wait another 1-2 years, the whole process will be SOOO much smoother and less stressful…so until then, I’m learning all that I can about pregnancy/parenting and trying to soak up this special time of just Darling Husband and me. 

Post # 13
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2006

Yes! I have baby fever. But we have about 4.5 months to go before we start trying. Not too long now. 

Post # 14
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  I felt this way for 5 years. I totally understand how you feel, it really sucks. When I first started feeling it though, I was with someone I didn’t want to have children with, then single, then on a round 2 with a crappy ex that hated the idea of kids… there were a couple of years there where it felt like it was never, ever going to happen for me. At least you have a partner and a date, that is really great, it is a tangible moment in the not-so-distant future! Be happy and proud of that. In the meantime, my best advice would be, try to focus on all of the things that you love about not having kids yet. Enjoy your time with your partner, play sports that you won’t be able to do while pregnant, go on roller coasters, jump on trampolines, that sort of thing! And work on making your body a healthier and happier place for a baby to grow. But try not to obsess over baby and TTC stuff. I did, for years, and I think it made it a LOT harder to wait. It’s tough because on the one hand you really want to learn as much as you can, it seems like a very proactive way to deal! But focusing on babies just reminds you that you’re not quite there yet and increases the longing. 

It won’t be long for you, hang in there!

Post # 15
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve had baby fever since before the wedding (we got married in October) and now that we’re married I feel like lets just do it already. He did actually “go” in me last Monday (the first and only time he’s ever done that) and he says if its meant to happen now then that will be it. He really doesn’t want to actively try until end of next year and I don’t want to wait that long!

Post # 16
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

OMG me!  Total baby fever over here.  It doesn’t help that I’m almost the only non-pregnant woman at my workplace — not joking, in the year and a half that I’ve been here, at least seven women have been pregnant, and two of those are already pregnant again.  I’m starting to think there’s something in the water.

We have a good reason for waiting, in fact it’s really my reason (meaning my husband would be fine starting now)… but it’s been hard lately.  Lurking my ass off on these boards also doesn’t help, PLUS it’s making me nervous that we’ll have problems conceiving even though we have no medical or family history reasons to think that!

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