(Closed) anyone else wanting to be a stay at home mom?

posted 11 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dream of becoming a mom one day, and pray that I could be a sahm. My DH and I are not planning on TTC for another 2 years, hoping that by that time we would be able to live with just my DH’s salary.  

My mom stayed home with my sister & I, when my dad was barely making any $.  They provided my sister and I with all the essentials and have nothing but happy memories of a wonderful childhood.I  DH & I are willing to sacrifice our current lifestyle to have me stay at home with our children (at least until they are in school).

Post # 33
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@lefeymw:  I completely agree about it being really important to support yourself.  You just never know what is going to happen in life and I personally wouldn’t be able to cope knowing that my entire well-being was dependent upon somone else.    I guess a lot depends on the field you’re in, I’m absolutely set on being a sahm but I also have two masters degrees in fields that aren’t going to become obsolete or change overnight (education and social work).  For someone in a more ‘current’ field, like IT, I can see that being a huge factor.  Interesting point to bring up…. 

Post # 34
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee

I’d like to until my baby goes to school. I’d like to teach him/her myself. After he/she starts school, I’ll go back to work. My SO got laid off and although we have a very healthy savings, I don’t want to resort to using it when I could have been at work and it could end up being used for retirement. I know that’s what savings are for, but I just can’t do it.

Post # 35
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@lefeymw: I agree and disagree.

Disagree: I don’t think it’s healthy to go into any situation (having kids, getting married, etc.) thinking “But if I decide to stay home with my children, what if my husband cheats or dies? Then what will I do?” If you think it’s a priority to be home and you can do it, be home! If it’s not for you, don’t do it. But don’t not stay home because you’re afraid you’ll become a housewife with no life skills. That’s just a bad excuse to avoid something that could be great for you and your kids.

I do however think a woman should have a set of long term goals before resigning herself to a life as a homemaker. Personally my goal has always been this: when my daughter goes into first grade, I will take that time to go back to school for a tech program I’ve always wanted to pursue. DH is 100% supportive of this. I don’t plan to stop having goals. But right now my priority is my child. If I can raise a happy, productive and fantastic future member of society, then I would consider that time well spent.

Post # 36
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry you’re getting the side-eye from so many people! While I personally have no desire to stay at home with my future kids, plenty of people certainly do and I don’t think that’s weird. My husband has mentioned several times that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to bear leaving our future kids for work, so he might be a future Stay-At-Home Dad.

Everyone is different. I am logic-driven and impatient. So I am the worst possible personality to put in a room 24/7 with a tiny, illogical tantrum-thrower who loves doing 4 piece puzzles of Dora over and over. My husband is my polar opposite – loves games, very light-hearted, patient as the day is long, get happiness from playful or outdoorsy activities. He’s got a great personality for full-time parenting. I don’t. It seems like you do, and that’s great. I think SAH parents are awesome.

Post # 37
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I honestly don’t think I could do it so I have great respect for those of you who are doing it or plan on doing it.

My Fiance would like to be a stay at home dad, at least part-time. He’s supporting me through grad school right now in hopes that I can get a job that will support us financially so he can stay home and/or work when he wants (which would work fine with the type of job he has). Keep your fingers crossed I find something good when I graduate.

Post # 38
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I work at home (barely part-time) and go to language classes everyday. My typical day starts from leaving the door at 7am and returning just before 2pm, then there’s working from home. My schedule isn’t that of the typical housewife but people around here seem to consider that of me (which I do not think is wrong in anyway, but they seem to). When we have kids, I’d like to be a Stay-At-Home Mom (and ideally, work from home) but I can only imagine the crap I’d get then.

It’s ridiculous, really. I live in a country where there’s supposed to be gender equality and feminism rules, yet all these modern day feminists doesn’t seem to comprehend that women have a CHOICE. Whether they stay at home or work, it’s their stinkin choice and no one’s supposed to judge either way. 

Post # 39
Member
2303 posts
Buzzing bee

I want to be a Stay-At-Home Mom but I also want to hire an au pair. That way, I can get help, my kids can get exposure to other cultures, and it is cheaper than daycare!

Post # 40
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think I would like to be a Stay-At-Home Mom until my kids were in school, the problem is I have a good career going now and I am not sure I would be able to get back into it after all those years of not working. My work also has subsidized daycare onsite so it would be only 1/4th of my income. If my boss allows it I think I will switch to working part time for the first year and see how that goes.

Post # 41
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

My ideal situation would be to be Stay-At-Home Mom for the first few months. After that I would prefer to have an at home business or PT JOB. That way I can bring in income and meet my needs for adult interaction. I just have no desire to be in baby world 24/7. We going TTC later this year, as much as I love babies/kids I know my limits and my temperment.

Post # 42
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee

God, if it were possible I would be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  I could just sit all day with MB playing and teaching her stuff.  I am addicted to my child.  And if I was able, I would just stop going to work one day!

Post # 43
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

I would absolutely love to stay home with our future kids someday.  I would love to teach and play with them as much as I could until they are school-age.  I don’t even have kids and I already know it will suck to have to share some of their firsts with their caretaker while I am at work.  But alas, I think we will be a two-income household indefinitely!

Post # 45
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t have kids yet (actually not sure if we will but that’s a whole other topic) so my opinion might change on this topic again.

Before DH and I got married we always talked about this and I was of the mind that if it was possible I would like to stay home with our kid(s). However, my opinion has changed because of my job. When we had these discussions I was finishing up school and working part-time at a restaurant, which I hated, so the idea of working and paying someone else to be with my kid made no sense to me. Once school was done and we moved cities and I found my current job, things changed. I can’t imagine not working there. The nice part about the company I work for is there are multiple part-time positions doing what I do so if the day comes I decide I would like to be home with my kid more I could do it no problem and still work.

Post # 46
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t.  I respect Stay-At-Home Mom (my mom was one, and growing up I appreciated having her around), but it’s not for me.  I would miss the adult interaction and intellectual stimulation of having a career.

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