(Closed) Anyone else wish they had eloped?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

All I know is if I could do it all over again I would have FOR SURE eloped or at most had a destination wedding and it’s open for anyone who wants to show up…no formal invites or anything and that’s it.  Then, we would have stayed for a couple of weeks because with what our wedding cost we could have stayed somewhere amazing for a while.

Post # 4
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

While our wedding was wonderful, and I’m so glad that we went with the big party, there was definately a point in time where I was just ready for it to be over.  It seemed like we had absolutely no life outside the wedding, and getting ready for the wedding.  A big part of that was because of other things that we had decided should be done before the wedding (the two main things being getting ready to put his house on the market, and getting his son through jaw surgery).  It started to seem like it was impossible to get everything done, and we were having to give up most of the things we normally love to do as we just didn’t have the time.

Luckily we had really considered just getting married at the courthouse, without the big wedding, right at the start.  So we had already thought through our options, and made a commitment to the big wedding for a whole series of reasons that were pretty well defined.  It wasn’t like we just fell into it, or felt like we got pushed into it – we had actually made a decision, and understood why we had made it.  So as much as we both occasionally thought that things would have been a lot easier had we made a different decision, we still thought the reasons for having the big wedding were good ones.

At one point, we started making lists of all the things we were going to do after the wedding – have friends over for dinner, go wine tasting, take long bike rides with our friends, go out of town just for fun, sleep in late…  It was really to have the wedding all out of the way, and get our lives back.  I have seen several posts from people who felt the same way.  And honestly, I’m glad that we had the wedding.  But it was seriously disruptive of our lives, and I’m really glad that next summer we just get to hang out and NOT get married.

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Not me! Our wedding day was an amazing day, being surrounded by family and friends as we made that commitment to each other was awesome!!  I think your engagement has been long, so the fatigue is understandable.  Try to do less and enjoy this last month of engagement – you have all the big things done and the little ones just don’t end up being that important!!   And when the day comes, just enjoy!

Post # 6
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I do! I’m getting married in april and now With the budget I have I’m wishing we would have just eloped with our parents and our best friends rather than inviting all the family to some big shindig. We had actually while he was deployed the first time planned to elope, but he wanted me to have the big shindig and now it’s a sourse of a lot of our little tiffs because he isn’t very involved in helping out since he lives 2 hours away and we doth have different tastes in music so it sucks trying to plan. Personally my parents said either have the wedding and whatever money I dont use from the budget is mine and his to keep or we "elope" and we get the 10k. Right now though maybe after it is all said and done I might change my mind, but I’d rather have the 10k as of now. Wedding planning is so stressful and I’m so overwhelmed with it all.

Post # 7
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Totally!!  I couldn’t be convinced otherwise though at the time I was planning.  It’s so overwhelming and expensive and it goes by in such a blur.  It would have been nice to have just gotten married somewhere quiet….just the two of us.  I didn’t understand the concept before I got married of people eloping then having a party afterwards.  Now I get it. 

Post # 8
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes, it’s normal! I got married early November and I was about to lose it a month beforehand. I was so tired of everything and of everyone who was bugging me :). I was SO OVER the wedding. About two weeks later, I decided to let go of the annoyances and the stress and do my darndest to have a blast. All of my family and friends were going to be in town and I was going to enjoy it. And I did.

 Bottom line: It’ll pass.

Post # 9
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sort of in a similar place right now.  We’re getting married 2 days after Christmas, so we have the stress of Christmas along with the wedding.  Some of my family members have been pretty frustrating in the past few weeks, and I’m starting to get anxious.  I just want the day to come, you know?

In the end though, we’re happy we decided not to have a destination wedding or a small wedding.  Having our friends and family witness our vows has become pretty important to us, even though we didn’t think so at first.

Post # 10
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am in the "finding a reception venue place" phase and already I am over the wedding.  Between what my fiance wants and my parents GINORMOUS guest list, I just want to elope.  And not to mention in trying to find a venue, every little thing costs.

Post # 11
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

almost 16 months into a 22 month engagement. sooooooo over it. however, now that we’re getting closer, more of our friends and family are getting excited about it, which is giving me a little more planning energy.

Post # 12
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

yes, i completely understand! even thought we didn’t have a big wedding, we had most of the bells and whistles that go with a formal wedding. we wished that we had pared it down more, invited fewer people, maybe had a wedding that was less formal, like a "backyard"-type or destination, so that we could have been less stressed and spent more time with our guests. i completely get the whole elopement thing now!

Post # 13
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Yes! I’ve said this at least twice already. I’m so sick of dealing with problems with friends and family, worrying about all of this peripheral stuff, I just want to get married and be done with it and start with all the things we have been planning to do. I know I’m going to love the wedding and love the day but I just can’t wait for it any longer!

Post # 14
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We eloped last year, and now are ‘engaged’ and planning a wedding.  Go figure!

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I totally know what you mean! I’m getting married in about 7 months, and it is amazing how much time you spend planning! And when you aren’t planning, you are going over everything in your head, and when you aren’t doing that, you’re talking about it! But then you have some downtime, and then you’re at it again. And it is amazing how high strung people get around weddings! You want to have a certain entree that you and your fiance enjoy, and some of the family doesn’t like it, and all of a sudden people take it as a personal insult! It’s amazing. Before you get engaged, you never think you’ll ever upset because you can’t figure out a color scheme. I mean, really!

But I know in the end, it’ll all be worth it, and it’ll be a moment I’ll never forget. Lately, I’ve been trying to make a game out of it, and that seems to make it better.

Post # 16
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I wanted to elope from the beginning and at first he was okay with that, and I started planning it.  Then one day he looks at me and says, "I really want to get married in a religious service with all our family there."  I screamed inwardly, looked at him and said with a smile, "That’s sounds great."

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